Four Days out and Weighing the Expectations

I have decided to make a list but not only of the things I am looking forward to but also a couple of other "lists" to help me re-evaluate this after the fact.

Looking forward to:

1. The anesthesiologist relieving the current migraine.
2. Having it over with
3. Less/fewer bachaches
4. Not having to worry about embarassing myself
5. No more pap smears
6. Sex that doesn't hurt
7. Watching a couple seasons of ER
8. Watching a couple seasons of Without a Trace
9. Not getting up every hour or so to pee


Not looking forward to

1. Being dependent on anyone else
2. Having someone else in my house
3. Wearing a nightgown
4. A Week with a catheter
5. Not being able to cook and grocery shop
6. Not being able to dress properly w/ that darn catheter
7. Getting fat

Outcomes other people mention to me that I don't expect to happen


1. Get rid of my migraines
2. Feel better than I have in years
3. More energy
4. Improved sex
5. Enjoying not having a menstrual cycle
6. Losing weight/being smaller


I tried to think of more positives than negatives but I have been up since 1:00 a.m. my time w/ a migraine. It is now 6:00 and I am going to try to drive to work. Thank God for back roads.

That brings me to the one thing I am most thankful for. Four weeks of not having to decide if I can risk driving to work with my current migraine.

Good luck all.
CS

Good Morning Sunshine!

Making a list is brilliant! When you talk yourself through it and put it on paper to have something concrete to look at it really helps to put everything in perspective. If you take another good look at the lists you made you'll notice that the list of things you're not looking forward to are temporary, and the list of things you are looking forward to are permanent (except for the tv seasons on dvd ).

The list of cons are all exercises in patience and gratitude. I understand you not wanting to be dependent on others, but if you look at it from the standpoint of how lucky you are to have someone willing to help you out it helps to put it into a more easily digestable thought. The nightgown issue - you'll be grateful for having something that doesn't bind for a while. Catheter issues - ugh! They just rot, but it's only a week. And the getting fat thing... I haven't gained a pound in six months since my surgery. I think it's a matter of making good choices in what you eat, and staying active.

I'm betting the relief you're going to find in the long run is going to make the concerns you have become a distant memory very quickly. Good luck to you! I'll keep you in my prayers.


Tracy

Country Sunshine,
I just read your list. I LOVE that - I am a list maker from way back. I am also having a TAH/BSO on 11/05/07. Nerves seem to be stretched to the breaking point. I'll just be so glad to have it over with. But, I'm with you, not too keen on having people in my house. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful that I have people willing to help! But I am a pretty private person who likes to be in control of my environment - oh well. As far a weight, I'm so concerned. I am already considerably overweight. Have been on a diet plan since March and have lost 30 lbs. I pray that this won't be a huge setback for me. I will be sending up prayers for the both of us that morning. Thank God my surgery is at 7:30 a.m. Less time to worry that morning.

Best Wishes,
HuggieBear

Glad you made a list .. try thinking only of the good mostly ..
good luck
hugs
lisa

Hi there! I also made a pro-and-con list before my surgery.

If it's one thing I know, you can probably save yourself alot of heartache by throwing that list away. The reason I say this is that you have absolutely no way of knowing *what* you particular outcome will be.

Most patients do very well after hysterectomy. You'll hear everything from "every problem I had pre-op is gone!" to "my life is ruined". I'm not saying that to scare you -- it's really that way. Some women's sex lives are better than ever after surgery, while others have ups and downs for months and still others find their sex lives are virtually "over" after surgery.

My dh actually helped me with this part of my pre-surgery prep. He said, "You know, you don't know how you'll feel when you wake up, or how you'll recover, or what this will really fix. Why not focus on the things that are actually likely to happen?" It sounded odd, but I let him go on.

Example: Instead of thinking, "What if I wake up in all sorts of pain?" I thought to myself, "Just think -- in xx days, I'll be home from the hospital already." Instead of thinking, "I may get an infection or have a wound healing problem", I thought to myself, "Wow! I'll be driving again in a month!"

It sounds really corny -- but it works. Instead of focusing on stuff that I couldn't control, I focused on the positives that I was fairly sure would happen.

The really strange part is that I actually DID have a serious post-op complication. But partly because I educated myself but didn't focus on it, I was better able to deal with it when I was actually faced with the problem.

I think it's great that you're thinking through your situation. That's a great way to try and deal with things. Just don't be surprised if what you worried about isn't what happens...as long as you're thinking about it, you'll be in a much better position to handle whatever comes your way.

MJ - I think you missed the point. I have no real fears about the surgery or pain. What will be will be. I also have no expectations about the results of the surgery. Those are things other people tell me that I really don't think anyone can say for sure.

I am mostly struggling with being incapacitated and concerned about my behavior during that. It is VERY important to me that I maintain control and part of my control includes dressing daily. I appreciate all the help given and offered but I really don't want to have to use it. there are a limited number of people I am willing to have see me in this shape and that is my husband, my sister and my best friend.

I don't want my mother around. I don't want the minister around. I don't want my sons to see me. I don't want church members to see me. I have to constantly remind myself that they are trying to help and in order to do my part to make them feel better I have to let them - no matter how mortifying it is. And, it is mortifying. Completely. As I have said before I am not now, never have been and never will be a princess. I don't want treated like one. I want my huge alien cut out and to be left alone until I am back to being me.

However, that isn't going to happen. Hope my family and friends can make it thru this!