Need some Advice emotional and its my sisters wedding tomorrow

Ok guys I am an emotional wreck today and pretty much have been all week. I feel like all i want to do is sit down and have a good cry, when i listen to the radio in the car by myself i get teary eyed and start to cry. When people talk to me about it i want to cry. I need the surgery and am not having doubts about that Im just emotoinal about it and maybe about losing my female stuff, i don't know.

Problem is tommorrow is my sisters WEDDING! Its her big day and I'm her maid of honor, I should be excited at this point with the wedding rehersal tonight and the big day tommorrow but I so emotional about the surgery that I just can't get excited (NOW I Have huge pimple on my face to for the photos tommorrow and my IBS is soooo flared up)

Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for my sister I just feel like an emotional wreck and in the dumps, any suggestions to get this TAH off my mind? Its not until June but some days I do great and others like this week, I'm not so great. Also, all my lovely aunts and cousins are going to be there who havent' seen me since my mom told them about my surgery and I know they are going to say stuff to me at the reception and I dont' want it mentioned because I'll start to get upset any advise on avoiding this topic at hte wedding with my relatives?
Please any advise would be great!! Thank you!

Leaky eyes and emotions on a rollercoaster.....I understand!!!

You say that all you want to do is sit down and have a big cry ?? Well, do just that! Get a box of klenex and let the waterworks flow! Sometimes that's the only thing that will help to get it out of my system. If you hold it in, you'll leak for weeks!! LOL Then, pamper yourself! Soak in a hot tub and play some happy music, music that always lifts your spirit. Eat something devine and not worry about the calories, fat or carbs!

Have a loved one spread the word that you would rather not discuss your health issues during this visit, they will understand. But, if they don't and question you anyway just say " You know, I'd rather focus on "sisters name", it's her special day and we can talk about this another time". Then just happily wave them off.

Let those close to you know your having a rough time emotionally and have them stay close to you for support.

You can do it!!!



Lilly

Abbie, I can totally relate to hose up and down feelings. And like Lilly said, sometimes I do just let myself have those big crying sessions and let it out. It is exhausting but it helps to totally wear myself out and be so tired that I can't think of anything -- not even how much it hurts or how scared I am.

I love Lilly's suggestion about telling whoever asks that you would rather focus on your sister since it is her day. What a gracious way to tell avoid the subject when you don't want to talk about it.

And I am definitely having my family run interference for me. DH and I are headed down to the States to see my nephew graduate from high school and there will be lots of people there at the ceremony that want to know how I am doing and have lots of babies and blah, blah, blah. My sister is already telling them that I do not want to talk about it which helps because, just like you, one word about it and I burst into tears.

Hang in there, sweetie. Maybe the wedding will take your mind off the pain for a while and you can let yourself go and have a wonderful time. I sure hope so!

s

Thanks guys, between work today, wedding rehersal tonight and picking up the tux in between then getting my hair done tomorrow a.m. and driving people around for the wedding and then the wedding I dont' know when I'll have a moment,

but SUNDAY I'm gonna take your advise and soak in a nice hot tub, listen to music and try to relax, if its not raining maybe I'll even sit in my hammock! I have been craving my homemade choc chunk cookies Mmmmm and cooking does relax me. That's settles it, Sunday is going to be a relax do nothing day and I'm gonna relax and try get my mind off it and break out the box of tissues.

Until then, unless I find a quick moment to get away from all the wedding stuff, I'm gonna have to hold it in or have a cry session while I'm in the shower tomorrow morning, my only free time by the looks of it.

I love the advise on how to deal with my relatives, I'll give my immediate family a heads up and when my aunts and cousins approach me I'll tell that we should be focusing on my sister's big day and i can talk to them another time.

Thanks for the great advise!!!!

Just wanting to say good luck and I hope you feel better. I love Lily's advice too! I think that would work great and just think, your sister will feel so special that you took the time to make sure they are not discussing you on her special day too!

good luck tomorrow.

Abbie,

Good luck today, I've been thinking about you this morning wondering how your holding up. Hoping you are having a wonderful day and that your family is surrounding you and giving you comfort and strength!



Lilly

Well, it's Sat. am and you are probably getting ready for the wedding. I wish you the best. At least it's a beautiful spring day up here in New England.

Crying is GOOD, it's like when you put a pot of something on the stove..it simmers, then it bubbles, then it bubbles over...and then you turn the heat down and it subsides. So, go ahead and let the tears fly. I always say, "it's too bad we can't loose weight from crying!!"

I read a relaxation technique: do this 10 times. Breathe deeply in and say (or think) "I am" ...exhale long and slow and say, "calm."

Tell us about the wedding when you're ready! Good luck!
Nancym

Abbie,

How was the wedding, more importantly how was your Sunday filled with "Abbie time"???



Lilly

Hi ladies,

The wedding was great Only a few times did I have some trouble, like when my sister her husband to be, the best man and I were up at the alter, the minister starting talking about marriage and being a good mother to children and I started to cry in front of the church, the mother thing just hit me knowing I would not have any children, Luckly everyone thought I was crying cause of the wedding.

The reception went good, magaritas were my friend!!! I was sitting next the bride at the head table and got some severe pains that keeled me over a couple of times like somebody was sticking a skewer in my ovaries but otherwise it was fun.

Surgery was mentioned at the wedding rehersal and the wedding, they would say I hear you have to have a hyst, and I say yeah but then I would go on and start talking about my sister and her dress or how beautiful the weather was going to be for the wedding, and I think they got the hint, especially when they mentioned it tears seem to fill up in my eyes.

When people come up to you guys and mention it does that happen to you to? Its such an emotional topic for me.

SUNDAY!! Slept in, relaxed all day, cooked burgers on the grill and felt good, felt so good in fact I decided I didn't need the surgery! (Well I know I do, but feeling that good Sunday was great, my DH even told me how he thought I was very brave in going through with the hyst and was proud of me) He's so sweet! It felt good to relax!!!

Thanks guys for all your advise to get me through this past weekend,