This foggy memory caused me tremendous heartache today

I knew it would happen because it did last year and I even warned some folks in pre-op that you mind is fuzzy for a while between anesthesia and the drugs. My MIL called today to check in and casually said "Now the update on so and so is..." and I cut her off and said what do you mean update? What the hell happened???? Apparently a very dear friend of ours fell in his home the day before my surgery. DH is telling me that we had a message on our answering machine that I listened to from another friend calling to ask if we knew how so and so was and what the prognosis was. I remember NONE of this! DH is telling me that he came home from work and told me our friend's son told him it looked bad, etc. I don't remember this at all!!!! The fall was bad, he cracked his skull and was in a coma, and he never woke up. They were calling to let us know that he passed away and in my mind I never even knew he was sick. I never prayed for him or called his family, I don't know if I can pull myself together to go to the wake, I just feel very lost and yet there is a part of me that is saying it is good I didn't know because I don't know if I could have handled the worry. *sigh* Tough times. He was a wonderful, graceful, loving man and I will so miss him for so many reasons. I'll pray for him tonight but wow...I cannot believe my brain shut down that much that I seriously do not recall anything about it.

OHH MY GOODNESS>>>
I am sooo sorry..but you honestly can not beat yourself up hun...you called it..the fog from the meds and surgery...is every reason to have NOT remembered or even known. And it prob. is the best thing you didnt know sooner,because you would have worried yourself sick, and tried to help...and it would not have been good for YOU. You will make it through this hun,...I am prayingfor you. And your family and friends family. Its a terrible thing, but please dont beat yourself up.

MsKay, so sorry for your loss. Foggy brain or as we call it at our house, brain mush, is the pits. I don't think it will ever go away...Maybe it was a way for your body to protect you while you were early in recovery? My thoughts are with you during this tough time. Hang in there.

Hey K ~ I just had a distant family member pass away early last week. It meant an 18 hour round trip ride to the funeral. But I am sooo glad I went. I was really tired upon return but was perfectly fine otherwise. His immediate family was so touched that I cared enough to make the trip -- well, words just can't express how much it meant to all of us. Perhaps you can visit with the family soon. That will ease your heart and let them know how much it mattered to you regardless of the brain fog!

Best wishes ~

I'm so sorry for your suffering. I'll remember to say a prayer for your friend too.

BTW, I'm rather relieved to hear that I'm not the only one who's been feeling like I have lint balls for brain cells.

We're only human.

Take care.
Sarah

In my opinion, and this may sound weird to some, but remember things happen for a reason...with that--Maybe God needed you not to remember so you could have a better recovery. If you would have remembered you would have worried and not rested as you should have and your recovery may not have been as it should have. Don't beat yourself up, it is not your fault. Go to the wake because you know if you don't you will feel even worse. You had major surgery, it is not your fault, it was not you being insensitive or neglectful at all. Your friend knows that you care for him and he knows that you feel bad right now and i bet he is OK with it and glad that you are feeling better. Deaths are tough enough to think about along with everything else you are going through.

Sorry to hear of your loss.

Don't feel guilty
Our bodies and minds know what they need to do to keep us heathly. At the time, the best thing for you was to block it. It is ok that is the way it happened. It is your bodies way of loving you.