TAH: Upcoming hysterectomy - Three weeks & counting... anxiety kicking in

Hi, it's three weeks today until my surgery (Total abdominal hysterectory). Despite telling myself over and over to stop reading stuff on the internet, I find myself addicted and thought best to join up and hear from those who know best - the people who have been through it or going through it right now like I am.

I'm 47 and know this procedure is right for me but I am starting to get nervous. The things you read can go to extremes - really postiive experiences and benefits and those who suffer. I realise we're all different but I worry more about what kind of patient I'm going to be than the physical restrictions that I will experience.

It is affecting me emotionally more than I thought it would and I can be very irritable and snappy. My temper turns on a sixpence and I guess I'm pretty difficult to love at the moment.

I'm pretty sure my live-in boyfriend doesn't 'get it', despite his best intentions and reading the literature he keeps making jokes about me 'milking it' and taking advantage to get out of the housework, cooking etc. I know he's joking and trying to make light of the situation, but pretty sure its going to come as a shock to him - I currently do at least 95%of things round the house. He's bought me a little bell for my bedside to attract attention - with rules on how many times I can use it, of course! And I've been warned about criticising the food or cleaning techniques - all this is good spiritied and only meant to lighten me up a little, but there's just this niggle at the back of my head...

I'm guessing (or hoping) these are just normal anxieties? Can you offer reassurance? (PS. lucky to have my mum stay for the first week I come out of hospital!)

Hi ! My surgery is April 8th and I completely understand how you are feeling . I am nervous more and more each day closer I get . However I am looking forward to afterwards .I keep informing my family that they will have to do most everything until I am able to do it but like your BF, I don't know if they really "get it " . I think it would be a good idea to let them read some of the stuff on here to help give them an idea of what it really is going to be like . Focus on YOU and recovery and don't let the dustbunnies overwhelm you LOL .Good luck with your surgery and recovery !

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Originally Posted by VickiB170268 Hi, it's three weeks today until my surgery (Total abdominal hysterectory). Despite telling myself over and over to stop reading stuff on the internet, I find myself addicted and thought best to join up and hear from those who know best - the people who have been through it or going through it right now like I am. I'm 47 and know this procedure is right for me but I am starting to get nervous. The things you read can go to extremes - really postiive experiences and benefits and those who suffer. I realise we're all different but I worry more about what kind of patient I'm going to be than the physical restrictions that I will experience. It is affecting me emotionally more than I thought it would and I can be very irritable and snappy. My temper turns on a sixpence and I guess I'm pretty difficult to love at the moment. I'm pretty sure my live-in boyfriend doesn't 'get it', despite his best intentions and reading the literature he keeps making jokes about me 'milking it' and taking advantage to get out of the housework, cooking etc. I know he's joking and trying to make light of the situation, but pretty sure its going to come as a shock to him - I currently do at least 95%of things round the house. He's bought me a little bell for my bedside to attract attention - with rules on how many times I can use it, of course! And I've been warned about criticising the food or cleaning techniques - all this is good spiritied and only meant to lighten me up a little, but there's just this niggle at the back of my head... I'm guessing (or hoping) these are just normal anxieties? Can you offer reassurance? (PS. lucky to have my mum stay for the first week I come out of hospital!)

Everything you are feeling is normal. I was like you, i read everything i could about this surgery.... i even watched a video of it. The first thing to keep in mind is we are all different & we heal at different speeds. I was use to doing everything around my home but since the surgery i have had to step back & let people help me, something i am not use to. I am a little over 3 weeks post op & i'm able to start doing a little more but not nearly what i would like to. Just follow your doctor's orders & listen to your body because it will let you know if you are doing to much. The biggest thing you can do to help your recovery is drink lots of water & rest rest rest. Let the house work go because you dont want to over due it & set yourself back. This web site has tons of articles to read about anything you may have questions about so check it out. The biggest thing you can do right now is to do things you enjoy that will take your mind off surgery & prepare for your recovery. I bought pj pants a size larger than normal because your belly will swell. I also bought stool softners (dont use laxatives...ouch!!!), baby wipes or flushable wipes (that has been a life saver for me), and gas-x (definately buy this). And anything else that you think will make you feel comfortable. Glad you joined this web site, it has helped me alot... before & after surgery. Hope your surgery goes well & your recovery goes smoothly.

I had my TAH in January 2014. I understand what you're feeling, and from my experience it's quite normal. You'll get good information on this site. I had to stop looking at most other sites, and didn't watch a video until after my surgery. (Didn't want to see that ahead of time.) The best piece of advice I received was to take the time you need to heal, because you only get one chance. You'll be having major surgery, which is always a trauma to the body, so allow yourself time to recover. Pamper yourself and don't overdo. I didn't experience a lot of pain and didn't have trouble with "swelly belly" or constipation. I got plenty of rest and made sure not to over do it when I was feeling better. (I did drive earlier than I was supposed to!) I know you look forward to having the surgery behind you, and it won't be long now!

Hi VickiB,

I hope all goes well for you!

I am almost always an intellectual, not super emotional person, but I was terrified and had turbulent feelings before this surgery. I had never had a surgery before, and hated the thought of everything about what I was going to go through.

I wish I could go back and tell my pre-op self that it was going to be much easier and so much less terrible than I expected.

As a plus, like you, I did 95% percent of the work around the house. I never thought my husband really understood how much work there was. After he had to do it for quite awhile, he told me how appreciative he was, and that he didn't really realize how much work that I did. Even when I was back at it in full swing, he still makes an attempt to help out more than he used to. Nice.

Best of luck!!

Hi VickiB170268 to HysterSisters!

All of your emotions, fears, and nerves are very normal. This is a difficult surgery to face and digest.

I do not think men understand just how difficult this is for us. I know my DH did not comprehend. But, I also think that men are fixers. And they cannot fix this, so they try to make light of the situation or withdraw or other such behavior. None of that is helpful to us. DH and I had some very wicked arguments on the days just before surgery.

One thing that you do is have BF read Mister HysterSisters. That might give him an idea of what you are up against.

Also, keep yourself busy. That will help with your anxiety. Here are 10 Tips for Preparing for Your Hysterectomy. Be sure to click on the related articles.

Just know that you are not alone in this. We are here for you, and understand what you are going through.