Dr. gave the gohead for sex, but i'm scared, anyone else?

I was really scared too! That is totally normal. The first time, I was worried it would hurt. I got the go ahead at 8 weeks. I had a second surgery for ureter repair and a stent removed at 6 weeks, so I had to wait a little longer than normal. We used lots of lubrication (astroglide) and my husband was so careful. It was very sweet and I cried after. He was worried that I was in pain, and I was so relieved that I wasn't! LOL Each time got better and better and now we are really back to our normal old selves! No pain, spotting etc. at all. Take your time and maybe have a glass of wine or something to relax first. Everything will be just fine! Good Luck and have fun.

Mar

My DH and I have discussed lubricants and it is a sore point (excuse the pun! lol). I want to have some available just in case...he thinks it's considered planning and takes away from the whole "relaxed and unplanned" nature of it, leaving him feeling like he has to perform a certain time on a certain day. I don't seem to have a dryness issue in recent outercourse, so we shall see how it goes I guess

Now, the glass of wine sounds like an excellent idea

Lev, you can always just have some in a drawer beside the bed without him knowing, and reach for it if needed; or, you can "cheat" and excuse yourself to the bathroom just beforehand and use a bit; or even---hope this is ok to say---if things are adventurous otherwise, keep the lubricant with whatever "feathers and toys" you and hubby enjoy, and incorporate it into the playfulness...

Good heavens--no lubricants? I can't imagine. I also can't imagine a man being that selfish--for heaven's sake, you just had major surgery in your vagina, and he thinks it's ok to insist that you have sex without lubrication so it won't disturb his sense of "relaxed and unplanned"? How relaxed and unplanned does he think a hysterectomy feels like? He has got to be joking.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by tiva Good heavens--no lubricants? I can't imagine. I also can't imagine a man being that selfish--for heaven's sake, you just had major surgery in your vagina, and he thinks it's ok to insist that you have sex without lubrication so it won't disturb his sense of "relaxed and unplanned"? How relaxed and unplanned does he think a hysterectomy feels like? He has got to be joking.

I really do not appreciate my husband being referred to in this aggressive manner.

He is as nervous about resuming our sexual relationship as I am, and is simply attempting to consider all options to make the first time a pleasurable experience. I really didn't anticpate such a reaction to my sharing personal information on here.

@acoldiron..I appreciate your helpful suggestions, thank you

(((MrsA0928)))

I hear you on the apprehension! Although I was cleared for sex at my 6-week appointment, DH and I waited until somewhere around 8 weeks to do anything. I still didn't feel that well, and he had no interest in getting intimate until I was ready.

If you think about it just a little, your anxiety makes perfect sense. If you had broken your leg and just gotten your cast off, would you be anxious to go out running again, or would you take it slow and easy and work up to it? You'd probably work up to it. So that's what I'd adivse for you. For the time to be right, your doctor has to say it's OK and you have to say it's OK.

As for your dh -- well, he'll make it a little longer without sex if that's what happens. Regardless of what he might want you to believe, intercourse is not the "be all and end all" of existence! I hope he doesn't persist in pressuring you into this, but if he does, why not have your doctor give him a call and refresh him on why you might be anxious about this? Just a thought.

to you. Hope this helps.

Sorry your hubby got a bad rap my friend. I'm sure that writer was just concerned about you.perhaps a bit out of line though.

Personally- I liked a bit of lube before hyst and so was ready after hyst but frankly didn't really need it.
My BF having read too much about hysterectomy thinks lubrication is mandatory now. It's clean and safe so I'm not worrying about it.
My doctor says it's sweat that keeps us from needing lubrication.

Gross but still sweaty, Bridge