Just a hysterectomy.

Please read before you get upset that that is someone else's opinion, it's not

I have found myself answer "oh what did you have done" when someone finds out i have had surgery with "just a hysterectomy" .

I know it's not a small deal, but like i said to reassure my kids before i went in, it's not a life saving operation (small white semi lie), it's not my heart lungs or liver, something life sustaining. And i have to keep believing that, i have to keep thinking like that . I hope no one is upset by that because for anyone else going through it, i certainly do not think it's a small deal.

But i can't handle people making such a big deal about it in the negative sense. This year has been tough, but even my sister (who never mixes words) has learnt the preferred word is challenging. Our year started off with my 8 yr old daughter's appendix bursting on New Years Day, and yesterday the same daughter was referred to a pediatrician to rule out a possible heart murmur....... SO you can only imagine what it's been like in between.

BUT for everything that has gone wrong, something has gone right, if not more rights than wrongs this year, a lot only small stuff, but it's usually the small stuff that gets to me most, and i need to keep focusing on that.

How do you deal with people who keep focusing on the negatives? My operation was supposed to be total laproscopic, but surgical emphysema turned it into total abdominal and i have 1 friend i have to avoid because i don't know if it's her attitude or my emotions/haywire hormones that has me ready to flatten her. Even today in my "i'm over it" state of mind, i still refuse to focus on the negative. (i guess that sounds a bit contradictory, but i'm over being restricted, not over having gone through this if that makes sense. In my opinion, if the change in procedure was the only thing that went wrong, then really nothing went wrong so what do i do with these people who insist on making this a negative experience?

You had an overwhelming amount of challenges this year, the hyster being just one. I'm sorry it's been such a tough year for your family.

I understand what you mean. Your daughter's life and death situation probably doesn't compare in impact to this surgery.

As long as you're not minimizing your needs and are providing yourself with the nurturing to heal. Don't ignore discomfort, fatigue -- take care of them. Care for yourself. The healing you do now is the platform for your health and how much your family will be able to depend upon you for years to come. For everyone's sake, don't minimize your needs right now.

Best to you!

Everyone is different. I myself scheduled mine with a positive outlook and have received support from all my friends. Keep reminding your friend that you are taking care of yourself and that things are going just as you planned. The best way to deal with negativity is to use positive offense and defense. Before she has a chance to bring up something she thinks you should be negative about, point out something good. Let her know that good things are happening and ask that she agree. Such as, "so and so brought me 6 weeks worth of movies to watch while I am resting! Isn't that cool? Would you like to join me in watching one?". And make sure it is a humourous one since you need to hear her relaxed and laughing.

I've found some of these posts insane!! I should learn to never listen to what I read online!! Radical Hyst yesterday. I was laughing before surgery and after. Of course it's painful, but not intolerable. I'm on 800mg Ibuprofen. Went home 8hrs after surgery, ate a hamburger, milkshake and drinking coffee now. Just made my own lunch!!!
This is not a negative. Excruciating pain and bleeding half my life is negative!

I referred to mine as my "It is fun to be a woman hysterical event". It assured everyone up front that for me, this would be ok. I am fortunate that mine was something I was totally ready for. I don't know that everyone can face theirs as ready.

Mok56' it is experiences like yours that helped me face mine with confidence. I am glad you are doing so well and I can add another success story to my list of those who found this to be the answer. Thank you!

The last 3 months I started questioning if I could put this off until a more convenient time for my family. Then the reason hit and I was again ready to proceed. I am confident that this will remain a positive choice for me.

Absolutely. I have a family of pups. And only postponed mine for hormone reasons. To me, no experience in the world is worth dealing with a lack of quality of life!!! There is never a convenient time as I am self employed hair dresser taking 4wks off. Scary, but oh well

9mo before my surgery (and before I knew I needed it), my friend had a Double Lung / Heart transplant at Stanford for Pulmonary Hypertension. Her organs were in failure and she was placed #1 across the nation for the transplant. She spent 2 weeks in a medical coma in ICU and another week after that in the hospital before she was sent to a nearby hotel for recovery.

Hearing her progress and steps she has taken really put this into perspective for me. How can I complain about getting out of bed without pain when she was down to 90lbs and looked 9mo pregnant with ascites (ie: bones with a baby). How can I complain about a bikini incision when she had her entire chest opened up & changed?

Perspective.

This is MAJOR surgery ... but it's not as major as it can be to save your life immediately.

Some people do have struggles to regain their lives post-op... some people do have difficulties that are beyond imagine in pre-op... but at least we have options to remove things and try to recover and move on. We just need to stay focused on the big life picture, be grateful that we have options and modern medicine, and be kind to each other ... as we all have a story to tell.

I did not feel it was a hard surgery at all. Pretty much took care of myself from the day I got out of the hospital and I have three kids, a husband, we both have jobs and a farm. Was back to work after 12 days, could have went back sooner. It really wasn't a big deal at all other than a little pain, but like someone said earlier. I took 800mg ibuprophen and took care of all the pain. I started back walking and light exercising after about 3 to 4 weeks. The hot flashes are a ***** sometimes, but they aren't all the time all day, so that's a good thing. I am adjusting to no hormones and mood swings, but fine. Doesn't seem to affect me or my family at all. I do allow for healing time. I do my job and take care of my house and farm, but when I need a nap or rest, that's exactly what I do. Hope everyone else's goes as well as mine did. I know it's considered a major surgery, butI have had alot worse.

Exactly!

Okay you sound just like me. In early December my gorgeous very popular 8 year old daughter had 3 seperate acts of sexual lewdness done to her on school campus by the same group of boys. My 13 year old was told of the final act by her that was so awful I am not going to share it here. At any rate I am still battling the school district for there lack of reaction to the incedent as a whole. My son started to have seizures that the nerologist felt very strongly were brought on by what happened to his sister.
I feel like my kids had been through enough this year so when I went in for my surgery I did the same thing. I told them it was no big deal and I would be fine. I put on a smile even though I was scared. Than the horriable thing was I had a awful time waking up after surgery. My surgery started at 9am and I did not wake until just after 6pm. I also was not breathing to well.
I told the kids the home they lived in for 9 months rent free was going away. My daughter than asked me " So that means you can't have anymore babies?" and I told her no. And asked her if she was going to give me grandbabies. she said yes but only 2. I told her well I was hoping you would give me 4. She said than we will settle on 3. LOL! She is too funny!
One thing I have truely learned in the last six months is that life happens. Good, Bad, or down right Ugly. Somedays it is harder to focus on the good and all you can think about is the ugly. And people are truely cruel and awful and we can't always protect our children from that no matter how much we try. Watching my children and the way they have conducted themselves over the last seven months with such grace annd class has made me so proud. I tell you what though I know God would not give me anything I can't handle I just wish he didn't trust me so mcuh. On January 1, 2013 at midnight I am going to kiss my husband and children and toast to one heck of a year. And the fact that we made it through pretty much unharmed and still in one piece together as a family has a lot to be said.