30-something wants hysterectomy

I am new here. I am relatively quite young and I want an HAV (?)-- keep the ovaries. Why? I am riddled with fibroids, some 6cm and embedded in my cervix. I have been bleeding non-stop (painful and heavy) for three years. I have no children. Without the HAV, I believe I would face several fibroid surgeries, a difficult pregnancy, and more pain and bleeding. I just want everything to end (as does my husband). However, I have no support for my decision from friends/family. What do you do when no decision seems to be the right decision?

Robin, this is a very personal decision to be made by you and your husband in consultation with a doctor you trust. If your family and friends can not support you, I know that is hurtful, but you must do what is right for you. They are not living with the bleeding and pain.

You have many sisters here who will support you throughout the whole process.

Take care,

Laura

Thanks Laura for your reply. My friends/family say that I am being dramatic and hasty. That 10 years down the road I am going to be "longing" for kids, and that I will be truly sorry for making this decision.

Robin,
Any decision that you make for YOU is the right decision!
And please keep in mind that they are not the ones suffereing you are --so it is yours alone to make.
And by the way-If down the road there are regrets about children, you can pursue other ways of having them. Children are a blessing no matter where they come from! And depending on what one chooses in her or her life, it can be a blessing not having them .
My sister in law is 39, never married and doesn't want kids. She is a teacher and quite happy. My sister had to have a hyster before children and she has found other ways of enjoying kids around her and is quite happy.

If you believe in God as I do, then it is yours and His to make together.

Just because they are afraid of feeling loss over something like this, does not mean you would. You are not them. Make it your own and get 2 or 3 medical opinion if you desire first.

I will be thinking about you and praying for you.
Peanut=-0

If you're young and have no kids, this is a very hard decision to make. It is between you, your doctor and your husband. All I can say is don't make the decision hastily. Get all the facts and then take your time to come to the right decision for you.
Good luck.

Go with your peace girl! Let peace be the umpire in all of this and you won't go wrong. Once your husband and yourself have come to an agreement on this, and it seems like you both have ,wait a week and if you still feel the same way go for it !!! It is nice to have your family and friends on your side, but if they can't you may have to distance yourself from them for awhile. Concentrate on YOU and what you feel like is right for you. This is a decision that will affect you and your husband from here on out, and no one else. GO WITH YOUR PEACE!!! Sending to you feel free to E-mail me if you want here, or at stheroadrunner@aol.com

Tell only sympathetic friends. Share lots with them and very little with others. As for the kids issue, I never had them and never really wanted them. People said I was self-centered and selfish. How dare they! You have a right to make any decisions you want with your body, marriage, and future family. Stay away from the negative ones and concentrate on your health and your DH (devoted husband). I go in June 6 for a TAH/BSO. You can find out the abbreviations on one of the pull down menus on this site. Good luck!

I am a 28 year old mother of two kids. I had my hyst on 1-22-01 and i am verry happy with my hyst. I was able to keep overys and have had no post op complacations. If you and your hubby do not want kids now and have you have a hyst there are other ways to have kids. I hope you work things out in your mind and do not worry about what other ppl say about it it is your pain and your body. I would go to many diff. drs and get all of the facts that you can. I also want to send an invcite to all to join us in tne chat room. Marci

I agree with everyone else that it's a personal decision. I am 36 and due to be "punctured" on May 23rd. For me I looked at the quality of my life now (bleeding, pain, etc.) with my quality of life after. I don't have any kids and fully expect to hear a loud clock ticking in a year or two, but I know that I would not be a good mom with all the pain and discomfort and machinations I have to go through every month. Adoption or foster parenting will have to do for me, if I decide to answer the clock.

I'm so tired of people saying "you'll regret it later". The only regret I have about my hyst is all the years I had problems, sacrificing my own quality of life because others had their own plans for my future.

If you think a hyst is the right thing for you to do, hold your ground. If they try to tell you anything different, come back with "I'm sure you must realize I've given this a lot of thought. I understand you might handle this differently for yourself, but this is my decision."

There's also the small matter of your health. When you are talking to the non-supportive people around you, consistently describe your problem in terms of your heath - blood loss, anemia, weakened immune system, hemmoraging, pain management, pressure on nerves, pressure/blockage of other organ systems, etc.. Avoid "ordinary period terms" like "heavy periods", and "cramps".

Anytime women are suffering from uterine-related bleeding or pain, people seem to think it's normal, and the sufferer is just whining. Bleeding from ruptured vessels on the surface of firbroids is not the same as a "heavy period". Leg and back pain, intestinal troubles, and bladder problems are not the same as "cramps".

If they start talking about it "only" being a quality of life issue, remind them that the quality of your life is important to you. Lots of things are "quality of life" issues - nasal allergies, vision problems, hearing problems, impotence, arthritis, joint pain, dental problems... Nobody would think of trying to stop anyone from seeking treatment for those! Don't let them put you on the defensive about it. If you have a legitimate medical problem, you deserve to have it taken care of and be healthy.