Overwhelmed at best

As I said in the intro thread, I have had 3 Gyns suggest hysterectomy for my pain/bleeding issues over the course of 10 years.

I wish I had been able to stick things out with the first GYN who suggested hysterectomy after my second child. I believe she had my diagnosis right now that I am five years post-ablation. Her best guess diagnosis after laproscopic surgery to examine my uterus was adenomyosis. I tried BCP and Depo but loathed the side effects with both. Six years ago I had changed doctors and this new gyn suggested the enlarged uterus, heaviness, bloating and general pain was most likely fibroids. Ultrasound did not conclusively prove this, but I opted to try endometrial ablation since my mother had had fibroids. For a couple of years the clotting and bloating subsided, but the pain never did. Five years post-ablation I am seeing the third gyn who suggests that based on family history and my own lengthy experience I should consider hysterecotomy. I had abnormal pap smears 3 years ago and they have been clear now for over a year. I want to keep my cervix as I am intensely afraid of loss of vaginal orgasm. I enjoy my sex life now and am terrified I will regret having a hysterectomy even if the pain and discomfort is finally gone.

I'm also dealing with an onslaught of emotions from the thought of giving up the very part of me that carried my sons, to feeling less like a woman, the possibility of losing my current sexual enjoyment, missing the random contractions that instantly brought memories of my sons moving, kicking and hiccuping inside of my belly. I know there are few options for what is most likely my diagnosis, but the finality of removing a part of me that has brought me so much pleasure and joy is weighing heavily on my heart and mind.

Advice?

Notreallysure -

I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing so many fears and concerns over your surgery but that is a very normal part of this experience. It sounds like you have tried a lot of things to preserve these organs so at least you know that you started with the least invasive alternatives first.

You are right that some women do regret their decisions. Sometimes that comes from not being fully informed but it sounds as if you've gotten additional opinions and they are pointing to the same conclusion.

There is often anger, sadness and depression associated with this type of surgery. I would recommend finding a counsellor or some one that can help you work through these emotions if they do surface. You may find, as some do, that once you've had the surgery you will wonder why you waited.

You can't control your emotions, they are your emotions. If you think you need and additional opinion go for it. My recommendation is to start with least invasive first and move up from there so you know you did all you can do.

Your emotions may have you thinking you are less of a woman but you aren't. That is lodged firmly in your heart and DNA. Unfortunately we are frequently told "you are a woman" once you start menses and this surgery prays on those thoughts. You are not and never will be "less of a woman".



G