Depression

I am about 5 1/2 wks. post op. I am on no HRT, taking black Cohosh which seem to help a little with the hot flashes but I am also batteling depression. It is so bad the feelings are scaring me. Sometimes I want to just run away from here but I can't because I have a 13 yr old son. My husband doesn't even know I have any problems because he is too wrapped up in himself. He just doesn't care and I am tired of pretending that I am ok. I have told him little things about how I am feeling but he just doesn't care. He never asks how I am doing and calls me a couch potato. He doesn't understand that I am still healing from the surgery and dealing with menopause and depression. I don't know what to do. I am trying to keep it together for my son because my husband is his stepfather. He is good to him but doesn't take care of him like I do. I have yelled and screamed at my son for no reason and end up apologizing to him. I cry all the time and home alone all day and when my husband gets home he spends all of his time away from me. I feel so alone. You would think after 8 yrs of marriage my husband would be able to tell I am going through something. I have told two of my sisters a little of what I am going through but I don't think they know what to say or do.I don't have insurance and no money so I can't go back to the dr. I have accrued so much medical bills from this surgery, it was an emergency surgery. I had a mass that was the size of a volleyball. I understand what you are going through and if anyone has any suggestions for me I would appreciate it.

You MUST see your primary physician! You can go back and read, I started this thread while battling with suicide. You have medical bills, but this one just may save your life. So sorry about your man. That really hurts, when that's the last thing you need. And tell someone the truth, ALL of it. Call your sister, tonight! Make an appt w/ your PCP tomorrow morning! And know that you are not doing anything wrong, this was major surgery with major life changes. One of the sisters said " Depression doesn't mean your weak, it means you have been strong for too long". Since your alone (for all intents and purposes) YOU have to help you. Please call someone with the whole truth and get to the dr. And there is always a sympathetic, knowledgable group of women that can help with that 2d step, and 3d.. You are not alone, here! We care, and have been there. You are loved and cared for here, we are sisters on the same path. Be kind to your self and take that all important 2d step. I would not be here, had I not listened to the sage advice of these formidable women! I give you love and understanding and the hope that I will read a much happier you in the near future. I am on antidepressants and am glad to be alive.

Thank you, I really want to call my primary care physician but I have been out of work and with no insurance we just don't have the money. I did talk to my sister tonight and told her alot more of what's going on with me. It felt good to tell someone. My huband wants to know when am I going to go back to work and help out with the bills. I told him it's only been almost 6 weeks and to be caring and try not to rush me back to work when I am not ready. Then he just doesn't want to talk anymore. I just don't need the way he treats me when I am going through this. I am glad I was told about this site. It's nice to know that I have people out there that know what I am going through. Thanks.

I was told I'd be good as new in 6 wks, so I went back doing what I normally did, w/ pain that I thought was normal. Got so bad went back to PCP and he said it takes 3 mos to ALMOST, be fully healed, and even then, dont lift too much, etc. But the damage had been done. Just saying, if it hurts, stop! So glad you talked to your sis and I hope she was more understanding than your DH! Ask your doc if you can make payments, mine felt so bad, he said yes! CC's were maxed and no money here at the time. Is there anyone you can borrow the cash from? They don't charge as much for a cash patient as opposed to insureds. Good luck Dixie and let us know how you are doing when you have a minute! Big hug, you are on the right road!

Verbena 2 , I will ask my parents to borrow money to go to pcp, they are on a trip now and won't be back until weekend. She does cut me a break because I don't have insurance. I wish I could sleep through the night, I am so tired. I have to put my son on the bus and try to go back to sleep. Thanks.