any single women out there having a hysterectomy?

Are there any SINGLE women out there about ready to have a hysterectomy or am I the only one? It seems all the stories I've read are from married women. I am single/divorced, 44, no boyfriend, no children. My 77 year old mother is going to try to help me for a few days after I get home from the hospital but she can hardly get around herself!!! I'll need to do as much as possible myself. Any suggestions? My surgery (TAH/BSO) is scheduled for October 24, 2001. Any advice is welcome.Thanks.

Hi tidkat,
I am also a 44 single woman who is now 10days post op and currently have my 80 year old mother helping me, and was worried like you. I learned from this site to get a bunch of freezer meals ready in advance, and arrange for the support of friends or others for things I cannot do, such as yard and household chores. It is important to set things up ahead of time so that you can rest - you will need and want to rest. I have been amazed at moments as to how well I am doing, and the next moment, frustrated with the slowness of recovering. Whatever I could do in advance, like paying bills, having some cash at home, stocking up on staples in the home, getting my friend's kid to take out my garbage,etc. has helped a lot with my time now to rest. I do have to watch how my mother is doing, as she is a little forgetful and has trouble with doing too much herself so that has been a little worrisome. I am hoping I can stay on my own in the next few days. You need to be able to shower safely and be able to feed yourself before you can be on your own - at this point, anything that falls on the floor either has to be left there unless my feet can pick it up. I am getting good at that kind of thing. Hope this helps,

Hi Tidkat!!
I too am single, and when I had my surgery (TAH/BSO) a year ago I had my sister here with me for a few days when I got home. Preparing the meals ahead of time and freezing them is good. I also had lots of can goods on hand. Lots of fruit juices, milk etc.
I have a one level apt. so getting around was not as bad as it may be if there were stairs involved or a pet that needed to be taken out etc.
I basically just parked myself on the sofa, got up only when I needed to for the first week or so.
And like optimist said, anything that fell on the floor stayed there until someone dropped by to pick it up for me. I tried to train the cat to pick stuff up for me, but no luck there.
Just listen to your body, and learn to not worry about the housework, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Our friends want to help us when we need them, so go ahead and take all the help you can get. Any time you know someone is coming over, have a load of laundry ready, or a bag of garbage to take out. They won't mind! Someday they may be in the position to have you help them.
Best of luck,
Maria

I, too, am single without children. Age 41. I stayed with my father who is 78. He drove me to my follow-up appt. and did the cooking. He just let me rest and take the time to heal. He was alot of help and it was nice not having to be alone and rely on friends etc. I had some friends do some errands for me as well but pretty much everything was taken care of by my staying at Dad's house for a few weeks.

Hi there,

I'm 35 and single. I had my TAH on 9/11. I'm right at 3 1/2 weeks post op. I have no children and have never been married.

Anyways, I know the frustrating feeling of doing this alone. I am a very independent person. But I have and do ask for help. I can do little things for myself. But I need help with the big jobs. Like vaccuming, taking the trash out, grocery shopping and cleaning the cat boxes.

My doctor let me drive at 2 1/2 weeks, but only around town. To be honest I try not to. I have a clutch and have found that when I do drive I hurt later.

I stock piled before surgery. I bought huge bags of cat litter and cat food. Stocked my freezer and fridge. Bought huge amounts of toliet paper. I made sure that I had enough of everything to last me a couple of months.

So far I'm doing ok, I get frustrated at times because i want to do for myself and can't. I have a hard time picking up that phone. My best advice would be to ask for help!!!

I hope you have a speedy recovery.
Rosalind

Hello, gals. Loved every single posting here.....
I'm 48, never married, my LAVH is 10/22 and believe me, I'm counting down those days. In a lot of pain and working right up to my surgery. My pre op and blood donation is this Monday, the other pint of blood taken the week after.
I have no children. When I was 30, I became pregnant and started to miscarry on my job suddenly. I went to the bathroom to find myself a real mess, and a further mess in the toilet. Two weeks after, I had an abortion. I bled on my gyn's table. In some ways I never got over that. I'm diabetic and it is plain to me I'm no candidate to be a mommy. It's a dream I had to let go of long ago, so my surgery in two weeks is a real finality for me.
It's a strange and emotional closure.
I've planned only somewhat; got larger panties, draw string pants, pads if I need them, chapstick. I live alone in a first floor apartment so getting around won't involve stairs. My mom and dad, both in their 80's and ailing horribly, offered me to stay with them but they look after another sister of mine as well who is diabetic with constant insulin shocks. I don't want to put them out in any way at all; I love them dearly.
One married sister will use up all her remaining vacation days to be with me the first week (days only) and my boyfriend will be here in the evenings. I have no one to give me insulin shots, though. I cannot imagine how I will put those in my belly after surgery. It's a real concern. I need to work on that.
I must pass along a great idea, though. I was offered help during the day and early evening from my local Church!!!! If you can avail yourself to this for at least the first and possibly second week, please don't hesitate to pick up that phone!! Either nuns or lay people who are parishioners are more than willing to help. Besides, it's great company!
I think I'm covered but if I find I'm not, I will call the Church back; they are so very willing to assist you and there is no shame involved.
I had a very bad day with cramping and nausea. I had a case of the "runs" this afternoon, and came home to a sore throat and slight fever. As if I need this????
I send my love and good wishes to all of you; this was a perfect thread for me this evening and my thoughts, prayers and hopes for a bright future without pain are with all of you. Write me anytime at all.
God bless -- Chris

Tidkat,

We could be neighbors! I am from Akron, Ohio also. I had my surgery at Akron General Medical Center by Cecilia Ellis, D.O. Where are you having your surgery? Who is your doctor?

Anyway, I am also single, childless, etc. I am lucky enough to have great parents who let me stay with them for two weeks after discharge from the hospital. My mom is a great caregiver. Mom hurt her back while I was in the hospital, so she was not quite up to par herself during my postoperative period. This may have been a blessing in disguise because I would have been tempted to overdo things to try to keep up with her. For a couple of dinners, some of mom's friends brought in food for us. We all appreciated that very much.

Good luck with your surgery.

i am a single woman who is 39 years of age. I first displayed symptoms of having fibroid tumors approximately a year ago. I had the anemia, the "bloated stomach", etc. I rarationalized the changes in my body to reasons other than fibroids. I t wasn't until recently that I started to experience extreme pain in my lower back and the rapid growth of my "pot belly." What really bothered me is the pot belly thing. More so than the excruciating pain. I have always been athletic and working out is a regular part of my lifestyle. The belly thing moved me into action.

I belong to a HMo health care system and was initially given a surgical date 4 months from my initial diagnosis. I did not accept the delay in my receiving treatment in a reasonable and time conscious fashion. I was told that the delay was attributed to operating room schedules. In my defense I conveyed my incomprension about a person who is experiencing the level of pain that I was had to wait for treatment. I have been prescribed narcotics and used that compelling fact to have my surgery moved up to 10/23. I am counting the days like a child counts the days until Christmas. Sure I am afraid, but I would walk on fire to rid myself of the fire that is rapidly growing indie of my body.

thanks to all who have shared their thoughts. It sure makes it easier for all of "Ladies in waiting".

I'm 33, single and enjoying it ;-) , and am waiting for my surgery date.
I've never wanted children and any man I've had a relationship has known this from the start.
After I have it, whenever that is because of our HC system being so backed up, I'll be going to my home town to stay with my parents (53 & 56), Sister, Niece and the rest of the family.

I have PCOS, endo, and probably polyps causing my near bleeding to death every 20 days, and have been BEGGING for a Hysterectomy for years. I had to change Dr.'s and Gyn's to finally get on the waiting list myself (8 years later).

Due to the cut backs in our health care system, I probably won't have it done till the new year. In my case I don't mind waiting; I've lived with this this long, I'm not on heavy duty narcotics, I can step aside for those with life threatening conditions NOW to go first, like you.

I'm SO EXCITED!!!! I'm waiting though... Waiting and waiting... :-P

Hi Tidkat,
I am a 45 year old single adoptive parent. At the time of my surgery in August my children were 13 months and 5 years old. I made arrangements for them to be with relatives for the first three weeks. After that, until I went back to work, they were with a babysitter during the day and with me at night.

Prior to going into the hospital I did shopping and did freeze a couple of meals as well as stock up on my favorite foods and snacks. I am not fond of leftovers, and I don't like eating the same thing more than 2 days in a row. Needless to say my frozen meals were few. The day I came home from the hospital I had someone pick up some fresh fruit and vegetables, things I did not want to leave in the refrigerator while I was in the hospital for 4 days. I live in an apartment building and planned to spend quite a bit of time on my terrace. So I kind of neatened that up (prior to going into the hospital) and set up my plants, chairs, and small table out there so that I could have my taste of outside although I couldn't yet enjoy it the way I wanted to.

When I started my walking, I made the first stop to a neighborhood take out place and that kind of broke the monotony of what I had in the house. I did notice that my appetite had changed for the better. I have a sweet tooth and was not craving any of that as well as other junk food I liked to eat. I did try to eat a lot of protein. My doctor said that this would help to promote healing.

I tried giving my apartment a thorough cleaning prior to surgery, but that just was not able to happen. I mean the house was presentable, but I had wanted to go through some closests and stuff, but didn't get a chance to do it. I have been getting to things gradually. Of course when I felt like I wanted to do some of this stuff, it was time to go back to work so there went the time I had to do anything. I've been back to work for two weeks now.

The first week at home, I really did not need anything. I had people who were willing to be on call if I needed help but I honestly was fine at home. I was able to walk (slowly) around my apartment and get what I needed. My biggest job was going down to the mailbox to get my mail which I made sure I did every day as part of my walking exercise. I had to walk down a long hallway. The first couple of days was tiring, however I just took my time.

I also lined up all the books and magazines I had previously not had time to read along with all the unopened videos and started to read and watch them. Prior to going to the hospital, I made sure that I had gotten down all my extra pillows out of the closet so that if I needed them, they were easily available.

My best advice is to try to have all your "comfort" things around you or easily accessible.