So frustrated with my family (especially DH)(warning..vent)

I don't mean to be blunt here, but I'm going to.

Tricializ, ask DH how he would feel two weeks after having his testicles removed, and then pay close atention to the look in his face.

Remind him that you've been had major organs removed, and that you are healing. Remind him that if he can't accept the fact that you are not Superwoman, then he may find himself taking time off from work in order to stay home and do everything with the house, kids, etc., while you go back in the hospital because you didn't heal right in the first place.

You must stop pushing yourself so hard, and you must get the rest you need. Your health depends on it.

hugs!

You ladies are seriously making me cry reading your posts. Thank you for taking time out for a complete stranger. As for telling him exactly how I feel, it is just too annoying to me to see his annoyed, glazed over look so it's just not worth it. I had told my Dr. that I had literally NO HELP at home and that I was approved for a 4 night castle stay. Do you think they listened? No. They wanted to send me home 24 hours later (even they though they had initially said it would be at least 2-4 days). I think my panicked look bought me one more day, but that was it. I am taking it easy today; just sitting on the recliner trying to get warm with these chills and fever. Thank you all so much for your support. Basically I'm on strike. Not answering the phone, getting up or anything. The heck with them all. Thank goodness for my two little ones (6 and 4) as they are wonderful! Nothing beats a smooshy hug and kiss from your baby.
Thanks again.
Tricia

I worry a bit about the fever and chills, if this continues will you please call your Dr.
I am so proud of you going on strike! I hope he makes some stupid remark at work and a woman unleashes on him or a compassionate man sets him straight.
Keep taking care of yourself since he isnt, and remember he is a big boy, he can put on his big boy panties and fend for himself.

I used to get really peeved when my husband couldn't
'read my mind'. I expected him to though. I figured he should know what my needs were, what I was thinking.

They just aren't as intuitive as we are. So, when I took a different approach, and laid it all out there, he was happy to comply. He has even told me to 'just tell me what you need and I'll do it, I just don't know'. He is the type that if I am upset (hormonal) and crying, he doesn't know what to do. I told him it would be nice to have a shoulder, hug, etc. Now he knows, and he does. Men are just different creatures.

You definitely need to rest! There are many women that have tried to do too much, and then hurt themselves. setting themselves back in recovery. You really don't want to do that. Force yourself to not do anything! The quicker you start getting around and 'doing' the more they will expect out of you later, probably when you are wiped out from doing too much. I felt like I had to stay in my jammies all day today to show them that this is not over. I've been getting out here and there, accomplishing minor tasks, etc. and then they tried to just drop it all back in my lap. I had to put a quick stop to that. So today was a slow, napping day. My husband called several times today, 'what are you doing', NOTHING everytime! That was kind of fun. But I am still in pain, and still healing. Take control of your healing! YOU ARE a princess

I think you are doing way too much too. And I am guilty of the same thing. Once I was vertical, everyone assumed that I was all better until I started spotting again. I then cancelled everything I could and went back to bed.

Seriously, wear sweats all the time, or PJs if you are at home. Call in all favors of picking up and dropping off your school aged children. Ask a friend to bring you take out or order pizza or something. Don't do the swimming. Go to the holiday program, but wear sweats and slippers. You are just 2 weeks post op.

As for your DH, I think that he is guilty of what most men are. They want to take care of you, but if he is out of town, his anger is probably more of guilt than anything else. You can tell them and tell them and tell them how hard its going to be and yet they don't get it until you are really hurting. Seriously, put on your pjs and don't get out of them, even to go to the drive through.

Thanks, Ladies. I pretty much do stay in sweats at home as I can't stand being dressed in uncomfy clothes when I don't feel well. Today , I have been pretty good. Picked up a VERY small amount and took the kids to drive-thru Burger king for lunch. (my son forgot his Christmas dance money at home and I had to run that out to him anyway). Then, I sat on the recliner with a blanket trying to warm up. I am still sitting there. Of course, it's 6:18 and DH certainly isn't rushing home tonight. (Can't say I blame him as I have been pretty chilly today). My DD is coming home from college tonight and I can't wait. It's not that she's helpful, but at least I LIKE her. LOL She can run some errands for me and won't mind either. Also, she is a good little cleaner (she goes to the Naval Academy and has gotten pretty proficient at cleaning) so she can help me get the house ready for Christmas Eve party. So, help is on the way. I do have to go to dance class tomorrow (I run the school) but I am going to do a "fun" day at class where I won't have to do much but talk and sit. I have assistants who can demonstrate the steps and stuff so I don't have to so it won't be too bad, i don't think. Actually I went by class on Monday and all my dancers came running out of class hugging me with big smiles on their faces. It was WONDERFUL. So, I think things will be fine. Trying times are telling though and I do think there are some definite empty spots in my and DH's relationship. Once healed I am going to set myself on working on that with him, hopefully. Thanks again.
Tricia