3 months post/hyst...painful sex

It has been exactly 3 months since my TVH/BSO. My doc told us "no intercourse" for 3 months due to the new vaginal cuff and bladder repair. We listened to him because we sure didn't want to undo all the repair work. Anyway, the first attempt was very painfull, and that was with just a little penetration. More of an ache than sharp pain. My guy is a very loving and patient guy, and he would never hurt me intentionally. The second try was the same...just really felt tight and tender. Is the the norm? 3 months is quite a while to give things time to heal, and I have read of other sisters who got the OK weeks earlier. Should it be a matter to talk with my doc about, or just continue to take it slow, endure some discomfort, and eventually all will be well? I hate the waiting, but am concerned about causing a problem and have to be examined and all that stuff again. Any replies would be appreciated.

Hi bowwowpal,

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. This is so frustrating I know. We had some problems right at first too, but each time it got better.
I do think I would call and mention this to your dr. I don't know when you were examined last, but there is the possibility of spots that aren't healed(granulation), even at 3 months. If this is the case it can be treated in the office. It won't go away on it's own.
It isn't unusual to be very tight at first also. The vaginal tissues will stretch in time. You just need to go slowly and be sure to take lots of time and to use enough lubrication to ease the friction.
Don't get too frustrated. If the dr says it is all healed then you will just have to work through getting things stretched out.
I hope this will be better for you quickly.

's, Rita

I'm 3 months also (sure seems like longer) and just worked up the nerve to try out the equipment yesterday. I had been having so much anxiety about it that it made it hard to relax. My mind the entire time was focused on "this is gonna hurt...I think it's hurting...ouch ooooch etc." I didn't noticed any tightness, but then I used about a 1/4 bottle of lubricant. What I DID notice was that there wasn't as much room depth-wise and it left me a little achey. Today my belly is swollen and sore, but I was expecting that after reading other posts. It seems like a lot of other women mentioned feeling tight, especially with ovaries being removed. Talking to your doctor is aways a good idea because at a minimum, it may put your mind at ease so that you can relax. Have you tried searching other posts for this issue? Good luck!

Best advice I was given here was that "the first 10 times don't count." I thought for sure my vagina was about 3 inches shorter after surgery! It does get better, believe me. Actually, for me, about the 4th time was practically back to normal.

Also I read that an "O" for a woman actually elongates the vagina, so work that into foreplay first. Might help relax you too.

Have fun practicing!