No orgasm post hyst & AP Repairs - HELP!

I am getting so discouraged. I am 5 months post op TVH, BSO, AP repair and TOT sling. Intercourse in certain positions still hurts (although we aren't having sex on a regular basis because I'm still a little scared), but what I'm finding really aggravating is that I have yet to achieve an orgasm. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever have one again. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is some of this due to the healing process and I just need to give it more time? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Ok... I am fresh out of surgery so I won't have first hand experience with hysterectomy and orgasm for a while yet...

That said I have had multiple girly bits surgeries as I put it.

Have you considered re-introducing yourself to... Yourself... In a solo setting? Not to say playing with out partners isn't the end goal but I know after each and every procedure I have had almost a mental block and no amount of stressing over it or willing it to happen has made it easier to get the orgasms going with someone there.

Your body, likes and dislikes may have changed more then one might realize, and on top of that there is the "it will hurt if I do it like this, or this, or that" issue combined with the "what if I NEVER have one AGAIN!" thoughts.

Been here, done this, and have walked a number of people through it in the past.


Some things that have helped me in the past... A glass or two of wine, a bubble bath so I can relax and read the steamiest book I can... When I start to feel interested enough then depending on my mood or comfort I may stay where I am or move to my room.

Turn the lights low, put on some music... and re-learn your body gently/slowly at first. If you lose the mood keep reading.

I am not talking about "knocking one off quickly" as my one friend says... I am talking about making use of your hands/toys/whatever to figure out what makes YOU feel good now.

Face it... the structure has changed even if the external facing hasn't had many modifications. Those shifts will mean various things will feel differently...

And please... One thing many women never think about:

Lube. It is your friend even if you have always been pretty "fluid" so to speak. I suggest hemp based ones as they tend to not promote yeast infections, and I would suggest avoiding silicone ones even though they "last forever" they... "last forever and are not water soluble".



Now the painful positions issue. I had that pre-op. All my life... I am reluctant to ask which are causing issues openly but you are more than welcome to PM me and see if i have any adjustments/variations to try. A lot of it has to do with the way I was/am built down there, and some to do with my hubby so to speak... I know I'll never get past the "parking a caddy in a garage intended for a cooper mini" issue but I found a lot of ways to work around a tender uterus, etc.


Big hugs,
Shelley

Thanks for the suggestions. I have tried a couple of times by myself only to get frustrated and need to learn to relax (which I am working on). Lube has been my friend for a long time, but I just found one I love at a health foods store. It's water soluble and DH and I could tell such a difference the first time we used it compared to KY and everything else we've tried.

My gyn warned me I might have pain because she "sewed me up a little tighter than she likes," but the last time I saw her she said she was happy with how things look.

I will try some of your suggestions and let you know.