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lack of support on the home front... lack of support on the home front...

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  #11  
Unread 04-21-2003, 01:38 PM
Paula,

I hope after reading these responses you feel that you are not alone. I am going to be blunt here. I think that you should go through with the surgery, for YOUR sake. You will feel so much better, and it will shine from you. I bet your DH notices the difference.

My DH is also insensitive. When I told him the news about my upcoming Hyst., his response was a roll of the eyes, and a complaint, " There is ALWAYS something wrong with you. GEEZ. I have never met someone with as many problems as you. How much time are you going to make me take off of work for this surgery?" I swear, I wanted to shake the sense into him!

Please dont let his doubts deter you from something that you need and will make you feel better.




April
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  #12  
Unread 04-21-2003, 03:15 PM
lack of support on the home front...

If you need a second opinion for your DH's understanding go for it. It might aleviate some of your concerns, but I think you know already what you need to do. Prolapses are nothing to play around with, as you said they only get worse.

I also get very little support at times here as I wait for my June 9th date. It makes things so tough and I understand exactly where you are coming from.

If you keep your ovaries, there is little chance you will go into menopause, but it could still happen.. even if only for a brief period. My mother kept her ovaries (she was 30 at the time) and no menopause symptoms at all until she was about 50, but my friend who also kept hers, had 5-6 months of hot flashes after her surgery (she was 19). Now shes fine. Doctor said it was a shock from the surgery. I wouldnt worry so much about menopause, even if you are losing the ovaries. Thats what HRT is for and they can work miracles with those drugs.

Heres a big for you. Just do what is right for you and make yourself feel better again.
  #13  
Unread 04-21-2003, 05:08 PM
lack of support on the home front...

I too had bladder and rectal prolapse after the birth of my third child. I waited 17 years to have it fixed........Now only 9 days out, ihave to ask myself....WHAT TOOK SO LONG!!! I feel great and can actually have a BM without applying external support for the first time since I can remember. You live in your body, you can best take care of your family if you take care of yourself! You will find lots of support on this site, whatever you decide.
  #14  
Unread 04-21-2003, 06:04 PM
Many thanks

I can't say thank you enough to all who responded. I am at the end of my work day reading all the reponses and in tears!!! I am so grateful I found this site as it makes me feel like I am not the only one out there dealing with this. Yes, I did get a second opinion and read a lot of info before deciding. Both doctors stated it is a problem that is not an emergency, but it will not get better over time. The decision is mine as to how long I want to cope with it. So, after a lot of thought, I have decided to do it now. I don't like having the feeling that my bladder is falling out. I feel it bulging when I pick up things and running around. Doing situps is no fun as it puts pressure right where I don't need it. I guess I was beginning to feel like I was over reacting due to hubby's comments. The one good thing is my sister-in-law is a nurse at the hospital I am going to. She is is management and can spend more time with me than the typical nurse, so that makes me feel better. So, I am feeling anxious and worried, but that is all normal. I just wish hubby was more sensitive. I have expressed how I feel but I don't think he really gets it. Anyway, thanks so much to all....I love you gals for spending the time to respond. I hope to keep in touch with you as the days pass but don't know how? Just through these threads? I am new to this!! Paula
  #15  
Unread 04-21-2003, 06:13 PM
bulbous uterus---bubble brain husbands!

Hi: Husbands--WE could start a whole new website on them--strange but lovable creatures that they are. I don't want to be judgemental about your husband so will use mine as an example--lol. He is trying to be supportive but his kind of support is a mixture of "I am so worried" combined with "if you wait too long our vacation could be ruined". lol As one other hystersister said "they don't have a clue"!!

One question: I read one of you mention that your uterus was bulbous. On my transvaginal ultrasound report it said my uterus was bulbous. Is that the same thing as prolapsed? If not, what does it mean? Thanks--

Hang in there ladies with the DH's. They do love us--just have a strange way of showing it sometimes. Basically men are selfish--we have to try to overlook (or at least live with) that undesirable quality--and look at their more desirable ones! We need to do what is best for US---believe me if the tables were turned --THEY would.

Take care--
  #16  
Unread 04-21-2003, 10:38 PM
lack of support on the home front...

Sometimes DH's can surprise you. My own has been very cavalier about my surgery when I bring it up. Acting like it's no big deal, yada,yada,yada. Refused to read my brochure from the Dr. because it made him 'feel sick'. Didn't want to listen to what the dr. told me. Then I overhear him on the phone with his aged mother explaining the female reproductive tract and what will go on during my surgery. I think they hide their true feelings from us to maintain some misplaced sense of machismo.
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