dVH/RALH: Mastectomy & hysterectomy making me question my womanhood

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 at the tender age of 35 and underwent a double mastectomy, chemo, reconstruction. I feel like in the years since I've processed the emotions surrounding losing my breasts. Or at least I thought I had.

When I learned I was going to undergo a hysterectomy due to adenomyosis it triggered not only some difficult memories of my cancer experience 7 years ago, but also has me questioning if I don't have breasts or a womb anymore- am I less of a woman? What is my purpose if I can no longer give birth & feed my babies?

I know in my heart that what makes me a woman is ME. I am going to be stronger, healthier and even more fierce. But I am allowing myself to process the inevitable and likely normal emotions of now losing the other organ that held the most important components of my femininity.

Again- I realize what I'm feeling is normal. I guess I wanted to share what I'm feeling here in case anyone else is out there in the same post cancer soup as me and may be feeling the same things but fear these emotions are silly or irrational. Only another woman who has experienced this combination of circumstances would understand what this feels like.

Anyway. I guess I don't have a question but am looking for and offering validation of these emotions.

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Originally Posted by Pinkribbonwendi I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 at the tender age of 35 and underwent a double mastectomy, chemo, reconstruction. I feel like in the years since I've processed the emotions surrounding losing my breasts. Or at least I thought I had. When I learned I was going to undergo a hysterectomy due to adenomyosis it triggered not only some difficult memories of my cancer experience 7 years ago, but also has me questioning if I don't whave breasts or a womb anymore- am I less of a woman? What is my purpose if I can no longer give birth & feed my babies? I know in my heart that what makes me a woman is ME. I am going to be stronger, healthier and even more fierce. But I am allowing myself to process the inevitable and likely normal emotions of now losing the other organ that held the most important components of my femininity. Again- I realize what I'm feeling is normal. I guess I wanted to share what I'm feeling here in case anyone else is out there in the same post cancer soup as me and may be feeling the same things but fear these emotions are silly or irrational. Only another woman who has experienced this combination of circumstances would understand what this feels like. Anyway. I guess I don't have a question but am looking for and offering validation of these emotions.

Hi,although I have not experienced what you've gone through,I do know you have been,are now and will be the BEAUTIFUL STRONG WOMAN God created you to be. I am scheduled for the hysterectomy,removal of one ovary and also my gall bladder and it has made my nerves(at times) a mess!! Im settled on seeing it through and am 30 days to "the day" but I do have my days of "question".You are in my prayers and I wish you the best!!

I have not had breast ca, but had uterine/endometrial cancer. I did have the same feelings, sometimes stIll do. Funny, since I got comments about how great that it was "only" a uterus. Thanks for sharing your experience. I do get it.

Hi Pinkribbonwendi

I know this is very hard. While I have not had breast ca, I have had the same feelings of being not feminine after loosing everything with my TAH BSO. I mourn the loss of my uterus and ovaries at times to this day, although it is not as intense as it was before. There are days, though, where I feel so empty.

I do know, like you, that what makes me a woman is in my heart, soul, and brain. But there are days that it is tough still. Just know that you are not alone. We are here for you and understand what you are going through.

Big to you.

Wendi,

I have not had breast cancer but I was just diagnosed with Uterine Cancer in March after a D&C procedure and just had my Hysterectomy and removal of Ovaries in April. I just turned 27 a month before I was diagnosed.

I no longer have the option to have children and I do not currently have children. Thankfully, my fiance and I had already decided (mostly) that we didn't want children in the near future so it was a little easier to process, but still difficult!

I was having a conversation w/my fiance last week and the word "woman" caught in my throat. I was talking about myself being a woman and as the word hung on the tip of my tongue, all of the bad, sad, questioning emotions came pouring into my brain. In that instance, I questioned my "womanhood". I didn't let him know what was going on in my head (although I probably should have). I just dismissed it and moved on.

But, later, it came back and I had to tell myself that cancer may have taken away my ability to bear children of my own, but it would NOT take away my "womanhood"!

Keep your positive attitude! I'm sorry you're going through this, but I wish you the best of luck in dealing with these emotions. They are very real and very hard to deal with at times.