Will I be different?

Aside from the concerns of getting through surgery, do any of you wonder if you will be "different" in some way--be different, look different, feel differently?? Does anyone know what I mean and identify?

I've wondered if I'd have strange moods, look older...all of that stuff. From what I'm told from friends both here and in my life is that NO ONE they have known was changed in a negative way...all I hear is that they feel happier, freer, and have more energy than ever before.

I imagine that without constant pain and pain killers (for me) I'll be a happier and more outgoing person. Lately I've sheltered myself more...probably a reaction to the pain and feeling vulnerable.

I also wonder if my depression and anxiety will lift. I have a baseline depression and anxiety that never seems to go away, no matter what I do. My therapist says he thinks that for me, it might be more related to the endo, the pain and the possible hormones that are out of whack. I'm wondering how that will change.


What sort of things are you thinking about?

Rita

Annie,
i do. When i turned 40, my fibroid tumors were found, lumps in my breast were found and i started to have to take high blood pressure medicine cause my kidneys work too much.
All i could think at the time was that everything feminine about me was going to H*ll and i was going to be old, ugly and undesirable. *sighs* I fought having a hyster for 7 years after that for fear i'd be "changed". FINALLY, i've decided that waiting was the worst thing i could do. The last 7 years have been so hard on me physically and emotionally that i believe i've aged 15 instead.
I don't know if i'll be me still after the surgery but i'm hoping i can be more "me" than i have been for these last years!
(and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOo i dont' wanna look OLDER!! *GROANS* although i did see a poem posted on another site (by a man, surprise surprise!) that was pretty neat. I might post it here if i can copy it.
becki

Annie

Of course you will be different - but only in a good way. I know exactly what you mean. My op was 4 weeks ago and I agonised about how I would be 'after'. Well, I am still me! Still female and feminine. I take more trouble with my appearance and it is great knowing I can stand up straight without pain, and wear white trousers, and not watch the calendar. Being feminine is something that we do, it bears little relation to the 'bits' that we do or dont have. There will be bad days when you think that you are somehow less of a person - take it from me you are more of a person after all you will have been through, and people will have a new respect and admiration for you. I know, I have been there.

Hang on in there - will all soon be nothing but a memory and you will be the new, improved you!

s

Wendy

Thank you for this thread... you defined a worry that I hadn't translated well for myself and it gave me peace to figure it out... no, it's not our bits as someone said .

Thanks everyone. Some great thoughts there! I think most of us have had similar thoughts running around our heads. I think it will all be okay, but occasionally I feel kind of melancholy...kind of like when they play "Auld Lang Syne" on New Year's Eve.

My life is no longer ruled by the calendar. I no longer have to turn down invitations ("I'm sorry, I'll be sick that weekend"). I no longer have to shop in "that" aisle of the store. I no longer have to carry emergency supplies wherever I go. I am free, free, free!

Just my $.02 worth.

and a good 2 cents worth that was, Cranky!!! Heck, I'd pay more for some good thoughts like that any day!!