Planning ahead: For those nearly at the point

Hi to all of you ladies in waiting. Last year at this time...I was you. On 10/2 I had "the appointment" and the biopsy that made it a for sure thing. I was scheduled for surgury on 12/2. Great...just in time to mess up the holidays.

After the fear, anger, shock and FEAR again washed over me, I knew I had to somehow make this as less stressful as I could for myself. No one else; however well meaning or in love with you can know or do that for you. Really.

The thing to do was to plan for what I could control. I decided my house would never be clean enough, but decided what things were the most bothersome and started a schedule to get things done. Knowing I would not be able to do anything for a while...I did not want to sit and "look" at something that was upsetting, or be tempted to get at anything too soon. Kitchen got reorganized. I figured others would be in there and I did not want to feel like they were seeing the worst of my housekeeping skills(!!) Next, bathrooms and laundry areas got an almost as good go-over. As I did the grocery shopping for the next few weeks, I started to stock up on things like soaps, detergents,dryer sheets, paper products. Splurged on a lot of those convenience things too like windex and lysol wipes. (Best thing I did in that department). Anything I could buy two or three of...I did.

Shopping for holidays took on a new meaning. I wanted everything bought before 12/2 and anything that had to be mailed was wrapped and sent or boxed and labeled for my husband to take to PO right after thanksgiving. Bought extra stamps and cards and started two "sit and heal" baskets". One of things I could do with out tearing myself open while I sat! I put books and reading materials ( ha! read some of the posts on cognitive brain fog! I did not read a book until April)! in that basket and a small calculator and extra reading glasses, hand cream, small packets of tissues along with nail files and polish. Also pkgs of Christmas cards and thank-you note stationary was ready to go... with some of the Christmas stamps. Wrapping paper, tape and ribbons were all ready to go and in an easily accessible closet. I did another basket for the downstairs that had tooth brush and paste, hairbush, and makeup and hairspray etc. so I could freshen up with out going upstairs any more than I needed to. I kept it hidden in the 1st floor laundry room... it was my secret for looking good. I also hid an extra nightgown and slippers along with other personal supplies on that level of the house.

We decorated the house over Thanksgiving...(not a fan of artificial trees? Too bad...it was a marvelous way to havw the house look good and make me feel good while recouperating). All the decorating mess was out of sight and under control by the time I started to realize it was time to enjoy the December "spirit". The holiday music was accessible and by the time I was ready for it...I was glad I had gotten all of those things out ahead of time.

The point is not so much what worked for me...but take a few minutes and think about who you are...and how you react to things. What causes stress in you...and how much control do you feel better being in. Since I can not be happy unless things go smoothly...I made sure the things I did ahead would pay off for me. I was right. I could not control the discomfort...the fear, the worry or any of that for my family. Those things were more than enough to deal with for several weeks. I was glad I took a few days ahead for me prior to all of that, and planned and took action. As a result...my recouperation was spent recouperating...and not doing what I should not be doing...or fretting about things that were out of my control..or too late to worry about. The Holiday was not perfect...but then...it never is! It was happy and joyful though...the worst was behind me and the New Year plenty soon enough to get things back in shape. I do work full time and had to get things in similar shape in my office so as not to come back to a mess...

This helped me a lot once I returned to work...and the keeping busy and being productive before the surgery at home allowed me to feel emotionally and mentally healthy too. It kept things in perspective. By feeling like I had done what I could...it was easier to let go and do what had to be done on 12/2...namely the surgery....and the recouperation after was then the easy part.

Good luck to all of you...and Holiday Cheers! Next year may you be sharing with others your sucesses and good health!
Kaegea