Which is more realistic?

I had a TVH on March 3rd, went to a birthday party 6 days post-op and felt horrible afterwards. And I didn't have abdominal wounds or little one's to chase after. I would strongly suggest skipping the party and the class afterwards. If you don't take the time to heal you are going to extend your recovery and risk complications.

I had TAH/BSO on March 4. I think it is unrealistic for him to be making any plans that involve you going. I still have staples and will be going Friday (7 days post op) to get the staples out; I really dread that trip. I feel I have had an EXTREMELY "easy" time of it with my worst pain being from a hemorrhoid i developed after walking the hospital and I know there is no way I'm going to go to church tonight...My brain is still a bit foggy and I've been off pain meds since Monday(early a.m.); even with my "easy" time I don't have the inclination to do anything other than point fingers for my 10 and 12 year olds to pick up after themselves, drink lots of water and take walks around the house etc. My mom and mom in law are taking turns bringing supper by and the boys can get their own breakfast and lunch....but I am rambling....I def would not have the patience/energy to take care of kids NOR do I wish to go anywhere. Please even if you feel ok by day 3 REMEMBER you just had ORGANS removed and you can't heal correctly if your energy is going to pain management and doing things that are not ABSOLUTELY necessary! BTW I had a C-section before and this is different in that you have more pulling on the inside with the TAH. I hope this helps...please please don't do too much there are LOTS of problems that can arise from that.

I just explained to hubby about what everyone was saying and now I'm about to write the teacher and let her know I am not coming.i definitely do not want to set myself back

I HAD a husband like that, actually mine was probably worse. Every time I needed to have surgery done, he would find someone to take me to the hospital, and take me home afterward. One surgery, as a matter of fact, was my gallbladder. I suffered with it for a month before he allowed me to go to the doctor's office. I was scheduled for surgery and 2 days afterward, he forced me to go to Michigan with him in the motorhome to go pick up some stuff that he got on Ebay. So, 11 days later, we get home to Seattle, he repacks the motorhome and dumps me off at home with a 102 fever and a severe infection. He told me that he wasn't going to miss his camping trip vacation because I am sick and had the neighbor come and check up on me. I ended up being admitted, and stayed there for several days and he didn't come home. Why should he when I was only in the hospital with a post-surgical secondary infection anyway?? He alienated me from my friends and family so every time I became sick, there was no room in the budget for me to go to the doctor's office, until it got to be an emergency and I had to have several surgeries while being married to this jerk, and he always had this saying, "I know someone that had that same surgery that was back to work and doing everything in 2 days."

Please, do not allow your husband to alienate you from your family. You are going to need help, he needs to either step up to the plate and suddenly be SuperDad that is going to do everything, literally so that you can rest. Or, he needs to just bite the bullet and do what is right for your well-being, and take you to your dad's house.

He's a big boy, he can stay home alone and go to his social functions by himself. If you don't take care of you and have people there to help you because he cannot put his differences and controlling arrogance aside, you are going to take longer to recover and it isn't just putting your life in jeopardy, it also robs the kids of the quality time they could be spending with mom if you aren't recovering on track (not by his calendar).

My apologies if this is offensive to you. I am a survivor of domestic violence and spousal sexual assault and I tend to be hyper-vigilant toward this sort of stuff. Please stay safe, if you feel like you are in an unsafe and toxic environment, please contact a social worker at your local YWCA or call a local crisis hotline. Alternately, should you feel the need to get assistance while you are at the hospital, you may ask a nurse to have a social worker/counselor come speak to you before you leave the hospital.

Its not offensive to me I just feel like everyone got the wrong idea from what I said.yes he cam be controlling at times but if I say no I can't do it he is fine with it and he is the first to say hey you need a doctor.he is just going by what I've done in the past.but I explained To him how you girls said a hyster is harder so I won't be going and he said that is fine.and he is a fantastic dad who does want the best for our kids and that includes them being somewhere else if I can't handle it.he just wants me to be sure I can't handle it first.he has more faith in me then I do.

It sounds like you and the hubby are able to communicate and he does listen to what you need. That's the absolute best thing in the world. So I know you'll be fine.

We all care and just want to make sure you're going to have the time to rest and heal that you deserve. He's going to need you to make the decisions about how much you're able to do, and we're all going to encourage you to take it easy and let other's help you out. This is way easier said than done I'm sure especially when you're used to taking care of others. But humans just haven't seemed to develope the ability to read each other's minds yet, so he'll need you to tell him what you need. (So don't be afraid to ask for help, or say no I don't have the energy yet.)

Hugs!!

i had a TAH as well. i am single with no children, but i still needed 24/7 care for at least a week. the pain meds made me very foggy, so i needed help remembering when to take pills. getting all the pillows set up so i could sleep comfortably in my bed was a major event. luckily, i have the best friends in the world. one of my friends slept on my couch for 2 weeks so she would be there if i needed anything in the middle of the night.

you will not be up to going anywhere for at least a week. i think my first trip out of my apartment was at 13 days post op. we went to target for 30 minutes and i was sore and exhausted.

i definitely think you should stay at your dad's house for the first week. especially with little kids, as you will not be able to take care of them when you first get out of the hospital.

It's great you have family to help you. There's also a section for husbands on here that might help him get an idea what to expect. I can see how he'd think it was like a C section, that's a common guess. Sounds like he listens to how you feel, so that will be a big help. Best wishes for an easy surgery and recovery.