Major break down vent!!

Not sure if this belongs here so move, or remove, if need be. Will feel better just having written it. Will be long sorry!!

I totally broke down crying on my way to teaching 4-H dog obedience tonight. Was a time I had nothing to do but think and everything just got to me. This has been a really rough year and trying to make decisions about menstrual issues is only the tip of the iceberg. I think what set me off today was I started getting sharp right sided pains similar to what I was having for about two years when I had an uterine infection.

Some background to make a few things make any type of sense. I have been having issues with my menstrual cycle for over 7 years and been having issues with one back problem for 4 years and just found out this year that another back issue was mis- diagnosed or undiagnosed for another 3 years. Was referred to a neurosurgeon for my back at the beginning of the year which started a whole set of diagnostic injections and eventually a procedure that burns off nerves near the spine. Have gotten some relief, finally, but still battling some constant pain in the lower back area on one side and the misdiagnosed area on the left side near the ribs which I can hardly stand to have anyone touch.

Have tried about 5 different BCPs in the last year or so to get mentrual bleeding, spotting, and cramps under control with mixed results. One did well getting heavy bleeding under control, but still spotted more days than did not and had cramps and the current one, the Depo shot, while so far has done a pretty good job dealing with bleeding, I won't put up with the side effects (almost constant headache, a couple of migraines one so bad I almost ended up in the ER, acne, almost constant pelvic ache, and increased appetite). A couple of those are just a nuisance, but just got my headaches basically under control and refuse to go backwards. Also started having some issues with stomache which eating more just makes worse.

On top of the medical issues going on, lost a set of very close grandparents, more like a second set of parents, within two weeks of each other. Played the organ at their funerals which was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Then lost an uncle, my godfather actually, about two months later from the other side of the family suddenenly. Add in being the only 4-H leader of a club with some very irritating parents, and the normal school stuff, to say this year has been stressful is an understatement.

I have a back doctor appointment next week and my other doctor appointment the next Tuesday. I am so tired of being in pain all the time and feeling like crap 90% of the time that ready to tell them do whatever you want, but you only get the summer. I teach and also tired of taking off days this past spring for all the funerals and doctor appointments.

Am tired of the testing to find out nothing and getting sent on to other doctors that do testing and find nothing. Usually I go for something simple, like please check to make sure I am not anemic, and I end up getting tested for leukemia. Laugh, but it happened. Also was tested for just about everything else under the sun that time and they thought I had Rheumatic Fever and had to get a huge shot of antibiotics. Didn't, but didn't stop them from testing and treating it. All from asking for a very simple blood test, turned out my white count was elevated. The IUD might have been causing some of that, but no one took me seriously when I mentioned that until I switched doctors.

So when I tell my doctor not going to continue getting Depo shot, I know I have to deal with issues it causes for three months, what do I say? Am debating two things. Put me back on the last BCP, as she put, at least not bleeding to death and can deal with spotting and cramping better than the side effects of the shot and just ignore everything. Second fix this permenatnly. Whatever you think will stop all this stupid pain, bleeding, whatever. What I am conflicted about is what is my back issue causing and what is my uterus causing? Dont know which doctor to tell what. Its a vicious cycle. Would do a hysterectomy in a heart beat if I knew it would help my back issues as well as mentrual. Are the fibroids pressing on some of those nerves? Who knows. No one seems to commit. Have asked both doctors and never get a straight answer. They both say maybe. AAGGHH.

Sorry long rant, but it just is getting to me and want to just feel good again.

Hi goldensrus,

I'm so very sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time!!! Loosing three close family members, dealing with chronic pain, and trying to keep up with your life and work is A LOT for a person to handle all at once!! I'm glad that you were able to get your story out...I know for me that was almost, if not more, "healing" as anything any doctor, family member, or friend could do for me on my down days. You are not alone!! You've got all of us here to listen ANYTIME you want to share and vent. Please take one day at a time...life can sometimes get overwhelming when we try to deal with everything all at once.

I hope you find some peace very soon.

Goldens, I'm so sorry for your losses! Goodness, that is just so much to have to deal with. So glad you were blessed with such love, they probably contributed mightily to the great legacy in a caring, smart granddaughter. Sounds like you do them proud.

If there is someone in your life you can just go hug and cry with I hope you indulge, so much going on for you right now. Please be as easy as possible on yourself -- whatever you can give yourself right now for some much needed relief and comfort. And we're all here for sure.

And you know, maybe a third doctor will help you sort through the advice you're getting who is more objective. I used my GP for that going through my gyn issues (he won't do that kind of work, he's been great for helping me manage all of the other doctor choices and post-op care).

At any rate, you are a clearly a smart, caring person that deserves a lot of TLC herself right now. Glad you have the summer to get this in order, that is a wonderful opportunity.

I had major problems with my back first and then started menstrual bleeding which never did stop, and then came the severe abdominal pain all over... Had MRI showed endomyosis so I had a hysterectomy and all the pain was gone- turned out it was so bad that I would have ended up in the ER at some point if I hadn't had it done when I did. Basically the surgery saved my life. I really feel for your suffering and hope you will get another opinion.

I totally broke down crying on my way to teaching 4-H dog obedience tonight. Was a time I had nothing to do but think and everything just got to me. This has been a really rough year and trying to make decisions about menstrual issues is only the tip of the iceberg. I think what set me off today was I started getting sharp right sided pains similar to what I was having for about two years when I had an uterine infection.

Some background to make a few things make any type of sense. I have been having issues with my menstrual cycle for over 7 years and been having issues with one back problem for 4 years and just found out this year that another back issue was mis- diagnosed or undiagnosed for another 3 years. Was referred to a neurosurgeon for my back at the beginning of the year which started a whole set of diagnostic injections and eventually a procedure that burns off nerves near the spine. Have gotten some relief, finally, but still battling some constant pain in the lower back area on one side and the misdiagnosed area on the left side near the ribs which I can hardly stand to have anyone touch.

Have tried about 5 different BCPs in the last year or so to get mentrual bleeding, spotting, and cramps under control with mixed results. One did well getting heavy bleeding under control, but still spotted more days than did not and had cramps and the current one, the Depo shot, while so far has done a pretty good job dealing with bleeding, I won't put up with the side effects (almost constant headache, a couple of migraines one so bad I almost ended up in the ER, acne, almost constant pelvic ache, and increased appetite). A couple of those are just a nuisance, but just got my headaches basically under control and refuse to go backwards. Also started having some issues with stomache which eating more just makes worse.

On top of the medical issues going on, lost a set of very close grandparents, more like a second set of parents, within two weeks of each other. Played the organ at their funerals which was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Then lost an uncle, my godfather actually, about two months later from the other side of the family suddenenly. Add in being the only 4-H leader of a club with some very irritating parents, and the normal school stuff, to say this year has been stressful is an understatement.

I have a back doctor appointment next week and my other doctor appointment the next Tuesday. I am so tired of being in pain all the time and feeling like crap 90% of the time that ready to tell them do whatever you want, but you only get the summer. I teach and also tired of taking off days this past spring for all the funerals and doctor appointments.

Am tired of the testing to find out nothing and getting sent on to other doctors that do testing and find nothing. Usually I go for something simple, like please check to make sure I am not anemic, and I end up getting tested for leukemia. Laugh, but it happened. Also was tested for just about everything else under the sun that time and they thought I had Rheumatic Fever and had to get a huge shot of antibiotics. Didn't, but didn't stop them from testing and treating it. All from asking for a very simple blood test, turned out my white count was elevated. The IUD might have been causing some of that, but no one took me seriously when I mentioned that until I switched doctors.

So when I tell my doctor not going to continue getting Depo shot, I know I have to deal with issues it causes for three months, what do I say? Am debating two things. Put me back on the last BCP, as she put, at least not bleeding to death and can deal with spotting and cramping better than the side effects of the shot and just ignore everything. Second fix this permenatnly. Whatever you think will stop all this stupid pain, bleeding, whatever. What I am conflicted about is what is my back issue causing and what is my uterus causing? Dont know which doctor to tell what. Its a vicious cycle. Would do a hysterectomy in a heart beat if I knew it would help my back issues as well as mentrual. Are the fibroids pressing on some of those nerves? Who knows. No one seems to commit. Have asked both doctors and never get a straight answer. They both say maybe. AAGGHH.

Sorry long rant, but it just is getting to me and want to just feel good again.[/quote]

Oh, how much suffering you must be having. I am not sure about those questions about your ovaries. I really feel for you and hope you can find a good doctor.

I'm right there with you! I feel like I'm on overload! I hope things get better for you soon

I feel you about getting tested for everything and getting nowhere. I been to doctors for years regarding severe lower back pain to no avail. When I finally went to my OBGYN to get a pelvic ultrasound that I had to practically beg for she found several large fibroids (very large grapefruit sized) and we opted for hysterectomy to remove. Another little bugger of a fibroid (honeydew melon sized) was attached to the outside of my uterus and near my lower back that was missed in the ultrasounds and "surprised" her when she found it. Out it came too. She said she checked my ovaries and they looked good so she left them.
Postop I discovered I was allergic to all pain meds except for the occassional IBprophen. So that was NOT fun. Its been over two years and I have had the most miserable time with complications that no one has been able to help me remedy. I had to retire from work because of chronic pain and from a former very active lifestyle. Throughout this time my father battled and lost his fight with cancer in October and I was not able to be at his side because of my own struggles. I go tomorrow to start with a new team of doctors that I pray might be able to return me back to health. Everyday is a battle but I still have faith that God will heal and restore all that I have lost in one form or another. Praying for you too.

I know how you feel. I wasn't dealing with all the same issues as you, nor as long, but I went quite a while without being heard. I kept going to different doctors until I finally found one that thought my problems were not normal and they needed to be dealt with.

I have been getting headaches, which are not migraines, for years. They sometimes get so bad that I can't even move or blink without crying because it is too painful, and crying makes it worse. Finally got my referral to go see a neurologist who diagnosed me with chronic daily headache. What a joke. All that basically says is "you get really bad headaches". I was put on medication that works great and so far have only had 3 since I started it. The back-up meds work wonders when I need them too. Now, when I went in for my pre-op blood work they told me that my adrenal glands are basically working overtime to keep up with making the hormones that my non-normally functioning ovaries aren't doing, or something like that. Anyway, the glands were overactive. I did a little research and found out that adrenal glands being off will cause miserable headaches. I called my neurologist the week after surg and asked if I could try a little experiment and stop taking the medication and see what happens. He wants me to wait until I am 2 months out and then we will try it. I can't wait. I hate taking pills and it would be wonderful if I could just stop. We are hoping that my adrenal glands have sorted themselves out since I kept one of my ovaries, the one that wasn't enlarged and didn't have a huge cyst on it. Going to call the neurologist again tomorrow and see if that is still the plan because next Thursday will be 8 weeks.

I had my surg on Aug. 30 and I am doing great.

Kinda surprised me to see a reply to this thread. Totally forgot I started it!! Maybe it is God's way of saying its time to vent again. As you might have noticed, I did have a hysterectomy the middle of July. One of the best decisions I have made. Turns out I had chronic infection of the uterus caused by that stupid IUD. Knew it was a mistake the month after I had it inserted. Kept it for two years though. Can't imagine what kind of damage it was causing. Back pain has gotten better and PT thinks a lot of it is due to the surgery. Still struggle with some and we are guessing will always unless doctors can figure out why it keeps slipping out of place.

However, the surgery has caused, okay maybe not caused but aggregated we think, a possible autoimmune disease. I get tested all the time for these things, aka whenever something is wacky and nothing ever sticks out defininatively. They always think something is wrong, just never know what. Well, my new regular doctor is not one to give up. After my surgery, went in for a constant low grade temp. Was diagnosed with a bad sinus infection, after a scare it was something more serious like an infection at the surgery site. Sinuses felt better, temp never went away and the constant fatigue never did either. Called back in at the urging of the nurse at school, back at work as a teacher by this time maybe not the smartest thing I ever did, and was told it might be my body trying to get back to normal from the chronic infection, but if it didn't get better needed to call back in a week. Never got better, in fact temp would spike, still does, over 100 some days. Called back in and had to come back in for more testing. Here we go again.

Knew at least a couple of the tests they were running come back on a regular basis high. Didn't change this time except came back higher than usual. So I am now being sent, after much arguing on my part, to a rheumatologist at the university hospital in our state. Tried to get out of it, but my doctor is convinced I have some autoimmune disease of some type. The tests shouldn't be coming back this wacky in this regular of a basis. Just hope they find something or I have wasted a lot of time and money as the hospital is across the state and I have to take a day off of school which I absolutely hate. But I also hate this constant extreme fatigue. Can't do anything and getting through every day is a struggle sometimes. Go in a little over a week and am very nervous. My worst fear is they will find nothing and look at me like I am an idiot. Plan on making it very clear only reason I am there is my doctor, it's not my choice to be there.

So hoping soldierforjesus and awitterholt find answers as I am also on yet another journey as well.

Never give up. Keep going until you find out what exactly is causing all of this. It's better to know so hopefully it can be controlled, if not cured. I wish you the best of luck with the tests and know we are here for you, even if it has nothing to do with a hyst, at least I am.

Thank you for wishing me well too. I just want to do that experiment. The worst that will happen is I will get a headache and know that I will be on these meds for the rest of my life. Oh well!