TAH put off

I'm 38, have no children and was diagnosed with uterine fibroids earlier this year. I was supposed to have surgery tomorrow morning. I've seen three different doctors and all recommended a hysterectomy as i have multiple fibroids. I have the bloated belly, prolonged bleeding with clots from the first to the last day and the most awful cramps. I experience spotting in between periods and pain has basically become my constant companion, whether i have my period or not! I've had six months to prepare emotionally and mentally for the process and i believed i was; till i woke up today.

I woke up so depressed, i couldn't even get out of bed. And i cried like I've never cried since in my life before!! The one thought on my mind was 'I can't have a hysterectomy' I think its just hit me that this procedure is non-reversible. I suppose this is what is called grief.

I know i need to have this surgery but judging from my weeping spell this morning, my subconscious still needs more time to prepare. I will have the operation when i have calmed down, hopefully soon.

I have a wonderful support system in my parents and siblings and i feel guilty for putting them through an emotional meat grinder with this. I'm still weepy from this morning and my boss has given me the rest of the week off to compose myself.

Any else had to put off their surgery due to not being ready emotionally and mentally? I need someone to communicate with.

I'm totally confused and feel so alone



Thanks so much.

First off ((( BIG HUGE HUGS)), sweetie
You are doing the right thing if you are unsure. You are not the only one. Many have changed their minds. And it's okay to do so because yes it is permanent. Once it's done you can't go back and change your mind. It's an emotional time and a difficult decision for many to make. Give yourself time. You have to make the best decision for you and you will.
We are here for you no matter what.

Hi Anime, First of all you are not the first person to experience what you are feeling. I might well have cancelled my surgery too but they thought I had ovarian cancer. In a way I think I was almost fortunate to have that diagnosis and have my surgery scheduled within 3 weeks of my U/S so I didn't have the opportunity to second-guess myself. Turns out I didn't have cancer, but I did have a really nasty case of endo. I have no children either, and it is very likely the endo was the reason I couldn't have them. In the couple weeks before my surgery, I think I cried, was in shock, was scared, you name it. In your case, if you aren't ready, you aren't ready. Remember this is about you and your uterus. It's likely your family will understand. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Another thing you might consider is a second opinion so that you can have all the info you need to make the decision when and if you should have the surgery.

first off you are not alone in being unsure i went thru the exact thing but i went ahead and had it anyway, in fact my surgeon put it to me this way you can have another cycle and risk the chance of not surviving it or you can go thru with it and be alive. see i had it because i am a pretty high paraplegic and suffer from autonomic dysreflexia where my blood pressure is uncontrolled with any form of painful stimulus. it got to the point where i was in bed for roughly 2 1/2 weeks a month and i had no life. now your situation is not as severe as mine i do not believe so if you are unsure then you may have made the right decision, however i am living proof that being scared sometimes is not ok. i put it off for 2 years and could no longer put it off, so my advice is to go ahead and have it done. being scared does not get easier the next time you are scheduled.

Hi Anime-

All of your emotions, your , your fears, and your uncertainty are completely normal. This is one tough surgery to process. I several times before my surgery and many more times after. I think we all thought of cancelling the surgery. It is so hard to contemplate loosing your uterus, such an intimate organ. I have no children either, and I struggled with this. We really understand what you are going through, and you are not alone. Never on this site.

We are here for you. Keep getting on and posting your feelings and emotions - it really does help. We are only a few mouse clicks away.

I understand how you feel. I have been told if I don;t have surgery I will die as the fibroid attached itself to my kidney and diaphram. I can't schedule the surgery. I am so scared, mad, angry and depressed and I don't know what to do.

Dear Anime and Mare67345,
I am so saddened to hear how agonizing this decision is for you, but certainly know how intense these emotions can be.

All I can add to the kind and wise comments and advice above, is , if there is any way you could refocus your "self talk" so that you concentrate on the positive results after the surgery rather than all the "what ifs" ... I had to do this because I have moderate anxiety disorders that can literally paralyze me if I don't think positive. Through cognitive therapy and dedicated practice on my own, I have made tremendous progress, but these fears still have a grip on me so I constantly must fight the urges to cave in). We all have our own demons, and this site is always here for you. If I can conquer my fears, there truly is hope for others as well. I am so happy to be rid of those huge alien fibroids and the pain and havoc they were causing me. I focus on my healing now and that keeps me going on the right path.

Your fears can be conquered. I wish you both inner peace and good health.