Feeling Alone, NEED HUGS PLEASE

I hate this. I mean I really, really hate this. I feel so alone and there is just no one to talk to. I am limited in the number of friends I have and as such those who I do know haven't been through this hysterectomy thing.

I have a TVH on September 19th. I thought it would be an easy surgery, a couple of weeks and I'd be fine. But I sit here a blubbering mess of tears. I am okay but can't do anything. I hate that. I am bored and tired. I have slept so much, which used to be a good escape for me, and now I can't sleep to that anymore.

To top it off my bestfriend attempted suicide the second day I was home from my surgery. I did all that I could do for her. Called the ambulance and police. She's okay thankfully and back home with her boys and husband but she's a mess. So I can't turn to her for support either.

My husband has been really good and won't let me do very much at all. And so far the kids are at a sitters so that's good but money is running out and I am so stressed. I don't know what else to do anymore.

I am having a total breakdown moment so I apologize up front if this depresses or brings anyone down.

__________________

Catherine TVH Sept 19th.

(((((Catherine)))))

I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. And I'm sorry about your friend, too. Thank goodness she's OK.

My husband committed suicide in March 2010. I thought I was coping pretty well, learning to be OK living alone, but after surgery was the worst. Even though my mom came and stayed with me for a week and I had friends checking on me after that, I just couldn't get past the feeling that my husband should have been there to take care of me. I cried a LOT the first few weeks.

Remember that you've just had major surgery AND your hormones are effected, so breakdown moments and blubbering messes of tears are to be expected. It will pass. Just take care of yourself and get lots of rest. Could you rent some of your favorite movies to pass the time?

Thank you so much for your response. My heart breaks for you. My nephew comitted suicide in January and it was heartbreaking for us all, obviously my sister especially.

Thank yu for your advice to rent some movies. I guess it's just me feeling guilty because I am the one who usually keeps everything together here. Ugh!

It is a lonely time for sure. So quiet when no one is here.

Many hugs to you. It seems no matter how bad we think we have it there is always someone who has it just a little harder. My heart goes out to you. xoxoxoxo

((HUG)) Dear Sister I'm sorry that you have so much going on around you that is draining your positive health strength. It is one thing to say that you have to take care of yourself and put out the stresses of others, and to really do it because you love them.

I will be praying for you and your friend and I hope that you can center yourself... be gentle with yourself and know that your body is recovering and it is well and that you will be well.

Praying for your friend as well. ((HUG))

Sending a prayer to you for peace and healing. Take care.

:cathugs:

and more


I sm so sorry you are feeling down. I honestly was feeling exactly the same way for the last couple of days-I feel like I am down, down, down, and not going to get better. I think we will eventually come out of this, it will just take time. I am so glad that we all have one another to talk to, or I would be much worse. I am so sorry your friend is having a hard time too, and at such a tough time for you. My sister struggles with mental illness, and she has been having a rough time lately as well (and yes, there have been suicide attempts in the past), and I cant help but worry, and not want to burden her. Honestly though, sometimes its good for those struggling with suicidality to be reminded that they are needed, because they are! My sister struggles whenever she is not in the spotlight as the sick one, and I think that is why she is having a hard time right now, because me having surgery sort of took attention away from her. I didnt mean for this to happen, but it did, and now she is having big issues. I dont eventhink it is a consious decision on her part, just part of her illness. Weelll, gues I needed to talk about this Too. Hmm. Anyway, back to you
I hope you are able to lean on your DH, and that you have some other women friends to vent to. But if not we are always here!
Merr

Thanks ladies for your kind responses. I am feeling the same way Merr, like this is just one thing that is going down, down, down. I try to be positive and think about tomorrow but then I know I've yet a lot of tomorrows to heal first and that is what frustrates me.

I had to have this tvh done. My uterus was growing into the wall of my stomach. Sometimes I wonder if I should have waited until my younger 2 were older and then would I be handling this better. Or should I have waited until we were more financially secure? Or? Or? Or? I guess there never would have been a good time. LOL!

When they pulled my uterus she told me it was nice and good size, pink and healthy looking with fibroids, a lot of fibroids. I thought "then what the heck did we do this for?" but then she told me about the scar tissue from my c/section and my uterus were growing into each other and eventually I would have had it done and it would have just caused more problems then what I had already.

But still . . . there's a voice in me that just can't keep sneaking past my "really?", did we "really" need to do this?

Sending hug and laughter your way. Time will pass slowly and fast at the same time. Yes money is tight for a while eventually things will fall back into place. I am a single mom and felt the same as you r now will these tear ever stop and will we be alright money wise. Take time to heal and let urself just cry. Better days r coming. Watch some oldies but goodies on TVland, Hallmark or Comedy station. We needed to do this so our quality of life will be better. Have some chocolate it may make you "fat" but it always makes us feel alot better.

Great big hugs for you, sister. I second Lilac's sentiments, let yourself cry. It will help with the release of the pain and fear and sadness you've had to cope with the past few weeks. I am so glad your friend recovered and I hope she gets the help she needs. I'm also glad to hear someone else whose family is so supportive, but still feels so alone. I thought I was being crazy; they all pitched in, they were helpful, and sweet, but they just didn't understand what I was going through.
I found one day when I woke up, I was able to just be; there was a sense of peace. Nothing spurred it, it was just there. I will pray that peace comes to you, as well. Hugs!