Did I over react?? (Long)

Hi Sistas,

Well yesterday was one of my first big outings! My DH's cousin is getting married at the end of this month and her wedding shower was yesterday! He drove me and my DD there and dropped us off! I told him as we were getting out of the truck check back in an hour because I didn't know how I would be feeling!! We first got there and my DH's grandmother yells out across the room, how are you feeling since your surgery?? You look good! You don't look like you've just had surgery! Which is all fine and good except more than 3/4 people in the room I didn't even know, had never met and really didn't want the whole world to know. By the time I had gotten settled onto the lovely metal folding chairs they had provided for everyone a lady whom I didn't know comes over and sits next to me! She asked what kind of surgery I had and I shared it with her, but since she had been through the same thing as I it worked out well and we had a lot in common! Then a lady walked in with a 6 mos. old baby screaming!!! That really didn't bother me too bad except as soon as I was getting up to fix me a plate of food, (i had saved myself for the shower and it was passed 2 p.m.) she hands me the baby and its bottle and says do you mind so I can fix my plate!!! What am I going to say???? So I hold the baby, kind of getting emotional at this point and a bit aggrevated while she fixes her plate. She returns to the table and sits and eats while I'm holding her baby. Then decides to get seconds!!! Now I'm furious because #1 I'm hungry and # 2 the emotions are really setting in! ! An hour passes and I've finally gotten some COLD food and eaten and the chairs are KILLING me!! So I got up and started walking around to ease the discomfort hoping that any minute DH would show up to check on me! I told my DD to be ready to go when he got there and she is rolling her eyes at me in disbelief that we can't stick around long enough to watch the unveiling of the gifts! I told her I had every one of the gifts at home in my kitchen (17 years old) and I could display them for her when I got home and even teach her how to uset them. Bless his heart, my DH came in and asked how I was. By this time I had been standing for 25 mins. and now my legs were giving out and my back was killing me and there was no way I was returning to the metal chairs. I yelled across the room that I was ready to go! After about 29 women peering across the room at me except for my friend with the same common element, my DH grandmother yells out, "Can't you wait another 45 mins. for this to be over"? The embarassment caught me off guard, I'm an emotional wreck, My bottom, legs and back are killing me, and all I could think of getting out of there! So I continue on getting my coat on and she gets up and goes to my DH and insists that we stick around longer!! How dare her???? When I got over to where they were standing I simply said, "I'm sorry that I'm not feeling well, and I needed to leave. She said well why don't you just lay down on the floor for a while and see if that helps!!!!! UGGGGGGG! So not in a very pleasant voice I said, NO, I'm going home to lay in my bed! It echoed throughtout the room and I know everyone thought I was short because my DH commented as I was storming out of the room!

As I woke up this morning thinking about it I'm thinking I should call and apologize however, it was totally justified in wanting to leave before it was over. I mean come on where is the understanding here!! I love my in-laws to pieces and I would never do anything intentionally to hurt them! I just want them to understand!!!!

Should I call are should I just let it go??????

Well, I think you should call, just to say that you hope that you didn't hurt their feelings and that recovery from hysterectomy is a long process and you found you were more uncomfortable than you imagined. I think you should call just to get it off YOUR heart, though, not because you did anything wrong.
We're grown women. It's important that we speak the truth, in kindness. You just had surgery and should have said, "I'm so sorry but I just had surgery. Maybe someone else can hold your sweet baby" and let it go at that. If there is another event in the near future, you may also want to bring a pillow to sit on. Yes, it will make it evident that you've had something done, but it also shows others that your body is fragile right now and has special needs.
In my opinion, no one at the party really did anything wrong. You need to stand up for yourself, but with kindness. It doesn't sound as if anyone did anything out of malice, you know? Just out of ignorance.
Feel good and REST !!

I really feel for you! That was one of those situations where you're darned if you, darned if you don't. Sounds like the icing on the cake was dh's grandmother who just didn't understand & made sure the whole room knew it. If you really get along well with them and feel bad about it, you could call the host, and or the bride to be. But honestly, I wouldn't sweat it. You know how you feel-nobody else. I'm glad your dh showed up when he did to wisk you away. And kids-well, sometimes they just don't get it either. Hang in there. You did what was best for you.

Shaines,
I noted the date of your surgery and I am just two days ahead of you (11/20 LSH/BSO). I am having an amazing recovery and no way would I have felt like being at a shower for any length of time. You have nothing to feel guilty about! Unfortunately, as we recover, the more we do - the more everyone expects. My best friend was ticked with me when I wouldn't go Christmas shopping at the mall yestersday afternoon. She decided that now that I was getting out a bit more it would do me good! I finally had to be forthcoming and tell her that I was fighting severe constipation and abdominal cramping and not to come by and pick me up as I WOULD NOT be going shopping today. You are the only one who knows how you feel and you need not apoligize for your emotions or your fatigue. Please take care of yourself and don't let any of the trivial things get to you. This is your time to heal.

Boy, that just burns me, son't you just love it when you go to something and get the responses you do. Similar happened to me.
These people do NOT realize that by going we have really put ourselves out there in every way. They dont know what we are feeling every second we are trying so hard to recover and gain our strength. Wouldnt it be nice to once hear, "Oh my gosh, thank you for coming, I cant believe you are here after what you have been through!"
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Thanks girls for all of your great responses! I did make a phone call and apologized for being short, but made it clear I did not apologize for being ready to go or leaving early! I did not get an apology in return, as I expected, but I do feel better now! I also had a talk with the DH this morning and explained to him how I felt and he was very sorry that he didn't jump in to defend me. After I was done talking to the grandmother, he jumped on the phone and had his explanation as well. So all in all, I'm feeling much better!! Thanks for being there sisters!!