Need Help!

I posted my question on another board, but I recieved only 1 response--I'm hoping I can get more support here. I am a mother of 3 girls--ages 5,3, and 2. I had to have c-sections with each baby. I have always had horrible, heavy, painful periods. My doctor sugested we do a lap to see if I have endometriosis (beacuse my pain has gotten soooo much worse). The lap found no endo, but a ton of scar tissue. It completely covers my left fallopian tube and my left ovary, it connects my uterus to my stomach and stomach muscles, and had pulled my uterus up and to the left (which the doc said is why I have so much pain during sex). The doc could not repair the damage during the lap. He said it was too dangerous.

He has given me 2 choices: I can have major surgery to TRY and repair the damage, or I can have a hysterectomy.

I don't know what to do! How do you know if you're done having kids? How do you know that a hysterectomy is the right decision?

If I repair the damage and try to have another baby, I'd be doing so with ony one ovary. And there are no guarantees. If I got pregnant I'd have to then have a c-section, and ultimately a hysterectomy--so it would be a total of 3 sugeries. I don't know what to do. I need advice, insight, help...

Thanks.

I, too, have pelvic adhesions and have had 9 children with the last being a c-section. After 7 kids I started to have severe pelvic pain. After different tests, my dr. did a lap. and removed adh. from my descending colon to the abdom. wall. The pain before the surgery was severe at times. Since then, I have had two more kids with that c-sec. being the last. My previous adh. have grown back, and now I am having additional aches, pains and a feeling of pulling and at times burning on the inside of my csec. scar. I've also had unusual uterine bleeding. Hence, I go in on tues. for a Lap. assisted vag. hyst. (LAVH) She is going to remove the adhesions first and then do the hyst. If you really have a lot of questions go see another dr. and present your test results to him and see what he says. I know the pain is really bad, it must be hard to functions some days!
Do you ever get back pain? I've seen doc. for back pain and sciatica and they can't find what is causing it. They even did an MRI-no unusal findings. I was sent for therapy and they can't figure it out either. We are hoping that maybe it is the adh. that is causing the back pain and that it will clearup after surgery.

Hang in there, you will know what is right by what brings you peace!

Have you talked to your husband about having more children?

I have 2 children and knew my childbearing days were over when the pain and misery affected my life to such a degree that continuing on because I had a slight chance of maybe becoming pregnant with another child (that we weren't even sure we wanted) at some unknown time in the future was overwhelming. I know that a hyst is not a panacea for endo, and in some cases can bring a whole new set of issues into your life but *for me* it was the right decision. I have my life back and am able to be there for my children rather than in bed or weak and miserable for 2 weeks out of the month. I made the decision to have my hyst with the full support of my husband and I don't know if I could have made it through my recovery without him.

My advice is to take a step back and really look at the risk/downside vs benefits of the choices before you. It's a tough decision to make (((hug)))

Thank you for your words of support. To answer your questions, my husband does not really want more children. We had been trying to get pregnant for over a year, but I know he was relieved when it didn't work. He said he would do whatever makes me happy though.

I'm not sure I want another baby either--but I just always thought I'd have 4 children. My gut instinct would say hysterectomy, but I'm afraid to regret that decision later.

The problem with trying to treat adhesions surgically, is it often causes more adhesions. I think there's an article here or a section of the website about adhesions. You might try doing a search under the articles section to see what info. there is. I also think getting a second opinion regarding treating the adhesions is a good idea. Just to verify what you've been told.

As to whether you're done having kids. Gosh, that's a very personal/couple decision. I think if you asked 20 people, you'd get 20 answers. For me, YES, I had two children, I have heart issues and that was it. Even so, I waited 5 years before taking the hyster. plunge just because of it being a major surgery. But when I was ready, it was the easiest decision to make. Felt/feel very at peace pre- and post hyster. with it. I have a good friend who was also "done" having kids, had to have a hyster because of fibroid the size of a grapefruit causing ALL sorts of problems. 5 years post-hyster she says even with the huge fibroid she'd NOT do it again, because of feeling of loss. We're all so different! Talk with your DH about it and if you're the type, pray about it. It is a hard decision.

LJC

To have more or not, that is the question. It's a very personal decision. When I was 26, I had had 2 kids and began having severe pelvic pain. Laparoscopy showed endo and adhesions. We did steroids, hormones, even stuff for bowels on the off chance it might be bowel. Nothing. Finally I had my left ovary and tube taken out. It was completely adhered to my bowel. My GYN told me my kiddie bearing days were more than likely over. SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE, I had two more kids. Despite the continued pain and pressure. Flash forward 21 more years. Years of pain and discomfort each month and two GYN's telling me either hormones or hysterectomy. Finally, I am ready to take the plunge. WIth menopause a good 3-4 years off, I'm tired of the pain. So, after this novel, the brunt of the whole thing is YOU have to be ready. I wasn't ready at all the other times it has been suggested to do a hysterectomy. Being as young as you are and unsure as to whether you want kids, I'd do everything I could to preserve your parts. Best of luck to you!

	Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedLaura Thank you for your words of support. To answer your questions, my husband does not really want more children. We had been trying to get pregnant for over a year, but I know he was relieved when it didn't work. He said he would do whatever makes me happy though. I'm not sure I want another baby either--but I just always thought I'd have 4 children. My gut instinct would say hysterectomy, but I'm afraid to regret that decision later.

I understand where you're coming from, I always saw myself with 3 kids but that was just not in the cards for me. Take your time and think about it, it's not something that anyone should rush into unless there is a reason or take lightly. Do your research so that you're confident with your decision.

You say you see yourself with 4 children, does the fourth have to be biological?? There are so many children out there deem unadoptable, due to a learning disability or physically challenged, that would love to have a mom and dad. Or they may have been brought into the system at an older age when most couples want just the babies.
If you do decided on the hysterectomy, there is another option on the 4th child.
No I am not adopted. A friend does foster care and has adopted two teenagers (not related to each other).

To answer your questions, I have thought about adoption--but my husband is against it. He really doesn't want any more kids. Wow--when I write it like that it really hits me, he really doesn't want any more. He's really not a horrible person! I have to explain: My first 2 children are healthy, but my youngest has been sick since birth. She has a rare disease--and it's been a very challlenging 2 years. He's worn out, and doesn't want to deal with babies ever again. He says he's ready to move on.

I'm thinking that I may have answered my own question. I can't subject myself to multiple surgeries, and months of trying to concieve, all so that I can have a baby that I may or may not really want.

So my question is this: How do I move on with my life and never look back?

	Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedLaura So my question is this: How do I move on with my life and never look back?

One day at a time.

There will be days were you'll look back on what might have been (it's normal) and there may be days in the beginning where all of it is so overwhelming but it does get better and life goes on and you start to realize that your life post-hyst can be wonderful and that it takes more than a uterus to define you as a woman.