TLH Almost 8 months later.

I am really beginning to have a hard time dealing with the hysterectomy. I am 35 and at this point I feel less of a woman because I was not able to perform as most women are able to. I am a life saver, but I was unable to be a life giver. I thought I went through the grieving process. Boy was I wrong!!!

You are not less of a woman. Your uterus simply wasn't healthy. But that does not define who you are. Is there anyone near you to counsel with? A pastor, women's leader, or maybe visit a therapist? It is normal to grieve, but grieving with support is important.

I am 9 plus weeks post-op. I never imagined how hard the emotional healing would be. I am 40 and divorced (never had kids) and really had accepted the fact that I wasn't going to have children of my own (always have had an interest in being a foster parent). So I never expected to get all teary-eyed every time I see a pregnant woman or a baby or a toddler or even a teenager!

This surgery is probably one of the most emotional that we can have done. Sure, there were medical reasons for each and every one, but we also give up a part of ourselves along with the physical pieces. The physical pieces might have been diseased and bad, but they still represented a portion of our lives that we'll never be able to get back. It is ok to mourn their absence.

There is a lot of support for the grief process in the Aching Hearts forum if you want to check it out. https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/forumdisplay.php?f=8

Interesting. I'm 42 and have an 18 year old in college. My husband had a child from a previous relationship. He would have been 25 this year but was murdered a month after our wedding day. My husband had a vasectomy before we got married. That's just how much we knew we didn't want anymore children. After his son died he considered having the vasectomy reversed but later decided against it. Even though I said yes to another child I was relieved when he changed his mind because I knew I really didn't want to start over, my son was 14 at the time.
Yesterday I was watching A Baby Story and was shocked at how sad I was with the thought that I can never experience that again.
It is such a special part of being a woman, but it is not the defining part. Grieving is very normal and I imagine it's something that we will continue to do well after we recover from this surgery.

I agree that if you haven't found supportive counsel you may benefit by doing so. You're pretty young to have gone through this surgery and its aftermath. Aside from your grief about not being able to experience pregnancy, you've had a major health scare and a major surgery, it's a lot to deal with and it takes time to sort out all the mixed emotions and get through the grieving process. There's no timeline for grief, it ebbs then is freshly triggered, but learning how to move on and appreciate life in all its valuable and wonderful forms can only help you find happiness with yourself and your future.

What you have said is very true. Endometriosis forced me into the surgery.

My husband and I were foster parents for 8 years, and we have adopted 5 beautiful children. I love them with all my heart. That is one of the main reasons I need to work through the grief.

Thank all of you for your supportive words, and they have helped. I am in the process of seeking therapy to work through the grief.