Jitters

I just scheduled my surgery (including bladder and rectal repair)and I am already having second thoughts. My doctor schedules appointments and then I have to wait for 2 hours before I see him and then I only get 10 minutes to talk with him. I have so many questions but I won't see him again until after my surgery on June 14th. He did say that he doesn't believe in pain meds and I am a real baby about pain. Do you think I could take my own pain meds to the hospital?

The main reason I am having this done is because I have had several kidney infections (for which I was hospitalized) in the past few months caused by my bladder and uterine prolapse and my regular doctor recommended that I have this done. I had a second opinion from another gyn who also recommended the surgery, but she thought that I could wait and just stay on antibiotics for an unspecified period of time until I had this done. My regular doctor said that I was in danger of permanent kidney damage if I delay much longer.

Hi Barbara,

It sounds like you don't have any confidence in the surgery or the surgeon. And what is about the pain meds? Perhaps you should take a moment to re-group and maybe find another physician who you are more confident and comfortable with????

And to answer your question...I don't think a nurse can administer any pain meds unless she has written orders from the doctor in charge. If I were a nurse I would not give anything without orders. There must be a big communication gap with your physician. Try to at least set up a phone conference with him to get your questions answered. Speak with his nurse and tell her how important this is to you. I hope you have time to sort this all out.
Let us know how this ends up.
Maralyn

Dear Barb...

No wonder you have the "jitters"! Your DR does not "believe" in pain meds! I would DEFINATELY be speaking to him again! What does he expect...just to put up with the pain! I would insist on pain meds and if he is adament about not giving them I would be seeing another DR! I am sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear, but I think he is a little strange...you are having MAJOR surgery and THERE WILL be some pain involved! GOOD LUCK and

Welcome to Hystersisters.
Pardon me if I am a little blunt but have you considered another surgeon? You and your primary doctor may be in agreement that you need the surgery but you do have options in who is doing it? Atleast I assume you do.
You deserve to be seen at or near your appointment time, you deserve to be treated with respect and care and have ALL of your questions answered by someone who cares about your mental, emotional and physical well being. You are entitled to be kept pain free or as close as medical science can allow. You should not have to take your own pain meds into the hospital and worry about any complications from self medicating.
We want you to have a comfortable, safe and secure experience with complete peace of mind in your surgeon,hospital and care.
Let me tell you about the first surgeon I saw whom I was referred to by my primary care doctor. He spent 10 minutes with me, gave me very little information, when he examined me he did not touch my vagina (I am convinced he hates women on all levels but that is another story) he joked that he had 3 patients all with the same last name and hoped he didn't get us mixed up, he said I couldn't have HRT because i was fat and that is why I had endometrial cancer. He then flited out of the room saying he would see me the morning of surgery.
Well I had a complete emotional meltdown. When I calmed down I decided there was no way this horses's behind was ever going to touch me with a scalpel. I know I would never have had the successful surgery and recovery I have had with this guy.
I found a new surgeon who spent atleast an hour with me. He conducting a very personable meeting in his office before he examined me. After he examined me we had another discussion in his office. He answered all of the questions on the hystersister pre-op question list before I asked them. Then he hugged me on the way out the door! I am the poster child for a fantastic surgery, hospital and recovery experience. (And I had tons of things wrong with me when I went in.)
So I do apologize if I have over reacted to your post or been out of line. And I thank you for letting me vent a little. But I would not want to see you or any of the other women who will read this post go forward with a surgeon that they do not have the utmost confidence in.
Perhaps your second thoughts were not in the procedure but in who was doing it. Please keep us posted on whatever you decide.
We are here for you.

I don't know what he has against pain medication - he just doesn't think it will be necessary, but after everthing I've read here I am terrified. I have been in and out of the hospital since January with kidney infections and my internist prescribed something to take the edge off the pain. Kidney infections are awful!

You're right I don't have much confidence in my surgeon, but I'm stuck with him because of my insurance.

I was going to take my meds and take them if I needed to - wasn't going to bother with the nurse. I already knew they wouldn't give them to me if they are prescribed to me.

Barbara, before I state my opinion about this, I want to know why you are 'stuck' with this guy because of your insurance? From what you have described, he is not only NOT the right surgeon for you, but probably for no one else either! Is there any way you can request a referral to a different surgeon? I really hope there is.

He doesn't 'believe' in pain medication? What, is it some kind of religious thing? Sorry, I'm torn between laughing, and hunting the guy down and punching him right in the nose. I am fairly sure a surgeon who refuses to discuss pain medication, even before a surgery has been performed, could be reported to the medical board. Pain management is a very serious issue within the medical community nowadays, and hospitals and medical centers are even employing pain management experts more and more frequently. This guy needs to go to eBay and bid on a clue!!

If you have a GP or other doctor you see, one of them could most likely prescribe pain medicine for you. Any licensed medical doctor can write a prescription. I don't know if your insurance has any limitations on which type of drugs can be prescribed by which doctors. I don't have insurance so I don't know all the ins and outs of it, which is why I ask about restrictions, I continue to be amazed and dismayed at the laundry list of rules and regulations and all the red tape for insurance you are probably paying your own hard-earned $$$ for.

Well I guess this is going to be one of those threads that elicits a lot of ranting. You have quite a while before your surgery, so try to get this problem resolved, but don't drive yourself nutty trying to do it all at once. Call the insurance company, the medical board, the hospital, whoever. There are patient advocates at many hospitals, in their social services departments. Even the hospital chaplain might be able to intervene on your behalf.

s to you Barbara, take care, be good to yourself, don't stress out too much, and let us know how you are doing! Keep us updated.

Hi Barbara,

I just started reading a book "It's Your Body: A Woman's Guide to Gynecology" by Dr. Niels Lauersen.

I am sorry to hear about your Insurance Co. That Dr. sounds like a *****. You get the picture!!!

I am going to quote something I read just last night. BTW this Gynocologist is a male.

"The gynecologist is your partner, not an omnipotent medical seer."

"A good gynecologist understands the complex emotional nature of his patients. When a woman is feeling anxious, insecure, or suffering from emotional strain, these feelings are often manifested in her pelvic organs, causing physical dysfunctions or so-called psychosomatic ilnesses. Many physical illnesses do, indeed, derive from emotional stress, so a doctor must treat the mind as diligently as he treats the body.

The gynecologist must consider your background, desires, physical capacities, and life-style, and place these into proper perspective for both of you. The doctor should assist you in feeling comfortable about yourself and should help you live happily with who and what you are. Feeling good about who you are and comfortable about your life as a woman is the most important aspect in maintaining good emotional and physical health. The good gynecologist brings all these factors together."

I am sorry this is long, but I would really be a terrible person, not having to share this with you and the rest of my sisters. Especially, knowing what you are going through.

Please keep us posted on what is happening with you!

Take Care and God Bless!!! your way!

Cathi,

Thanks for sharing. That sounds like a great book. I browsed through a book store last weekend, looking for the perfect book, but every one I saw looked like it was going to either talk me out of the surgery or scare me to death.

I am comfortable with having the surgery and so looking forward to feeling better again. I want the surgery and have had enough women tell me post-op what a good move it was. I do find that reading for information makes a better patient, however.

I just may see if I can find that book. Thanks.

Nancy

I must agree with some of the other ladies. Have you told your GP about this guy? A former dr of mine sent me to an absolute jerk!! I told dr no. 1 that in no way, shape or form would I go back to the jerk. He referred me to another dr who truly was a good dr to me. You're obviously uncomfortable with this, so PLEASE talk to your GP or call another dr yourself. There is nothing worse than pain.

When I first went on birth control pills many years ago, I immediately gained 20 pounds. When I went to the dr and asked for a different pill, he told me my weight gain was not caused by the pill--that I just didn't know when to push myself away from the table! That's the last time I saw him. I took myself off the pill and immediately lost my 20 pounds.

I could go on and on with stories such as these.

Please find a dr who is on the same wave-length as you. You'll feel much better. And if I may suggest a female dr . . . no one understands a woman's body like a woman.

Good luck and God bless!

Hi Barbara,



I'm sure this has to concerning you more and more. Please, try and find a different doctor for another opinion. I had to see my doctors for a pre-op, usually this is before the surgery, in the same month for sure! My surgery was scheduled with only a 7 day window. I saw them the day before surgery and kept them there for at least an hour with my list of questions. That's amazing to me that a doctor would treat you this way. I'm sure you have a ton of questions for your doctor. Maybe there is another doctor that your insurance will cover? And I hate to say this, but wouldn't you rather push back your surgery knowing that the doctor you chose would listen to you and be well versed on the surgery and post-op period?

If I can help in any way, please let me know~

Sara