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6 weeks post hysterectomy & emotional issues with intercourse
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11-26-2015, 12:53 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1
Hysterectomy: October 13th, 2015
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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6 weeks post hysterectomy & emotional issues with intercourse
Hi, not sure if I'm doing this right. This is my first time posting anything. I am 41. I had a total abdominal hysterectomy on October 13th due to an enlarged uterus, fibroids and endometriosis. I was able to keep my right ovary but everything else was taken. I have had a really amazing recovery. Very little pain, even immediately out of surgery, no surprises anywhere except how good I've felt. I've been more than pleasantly surprised. I just had my 6 wk post op and was cleared for everything including intercourse. I was really excited about it. My husband and I have attempted intercourse twice and both times I've ended up being incredibly emotional. It's not hurting physically but the first time I was nervous about it potentially hurting and then I just felt overwhelmingly sad and upset and ended up sobbing and having to stop. Tonight, we started again, attempted a different position and again I struggled emotionally. We didn't finish, I didn't cry this time but I was really emotionally upset and almost felt like I needed to escape. Unfortunately I can't really name what I'm feeling and what is upsetting me which is making this really hard on both of us. Anyone have any thoughts that might help me understand what is going on? Again, there is no physical pain, I just don't understand.
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11-26-2015, 06:11 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 76
Hysterectomy: June 5th, 2015
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: 6 weeks post hysterectomy & emotional issues with intercourse
Hello tl6206. I'm almost 6 Mos out from surgery and I have honestly just began to enjoy sex again. I like you had no pain with it and great recovery from surgery. Even cleared for sex at 4 weeks. It took me this long and some extra lube to just relax and get the surgery off my mind. I havent cried after or anything but for me it was just kinda experimental and routine and over thinking until now. I would say give it time and keep trying. All seems to get better everyday. Our bodies went through alot even though we tolerated it well and didn't hurt as bad. Just hug your husband and thank him for being patient and keep practicing! Lol
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11-26-2015, 07:09 AM
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Posts: 85
Hysterectomy: July 17th, 2015
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: 6 weeks post hysterectomy & emotional issues with intercourse
Hi,
It's been more than 4 months for me and I'm still feeling apprehensive. We've tried twice, and the second time I just stopped not because I had pain but because I was suddenly afraid.
Regardless of the surgical method, we've been through some intense physical trauma. My theory is that even though I was under anesthesia, my body remembers that trauma and it will take quite a while for my whole system to understand that anything "in there" won't hurt it. I know that may sound a little woo woo, but trauma is stored in tissues...there is a whole arm of psychotherapy devoted to healing trauma. You can google sensorimotor psychotherapy or Hakomi psychotherapy for more information. A great book about it is called Waking the Tiger.
So you're not alone, you might be experiencing a completely normal reaction to a traumatic event.
Hugs.
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11-26-2015, 09:55 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 316
Hysterectomy: September 14th, 2015
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: 6 weeks post hysterectomy & emotional issues with intercourse
Hi TL2606,
Remember, hormones fluctuate like crazy after a hysterectomy, even if you keep both ovaries. Add to that you only kept one, and the stress and anxiety if sex will be the same it can really wreak havoc on the emotions.
I am a little over 2 months out and still have the odd moment of emotional crying break through. At least now it is usually trigger by something that makes sens! Like a sad commercial or a sad ending of a movie/TV show. (I would feel sad before, but never cry.)
So rest assured, it does get better, just takes time. I think that's the part we all forget! Try not to put the pressure on yourself, it will take time, who knows how long as everyone is different, and be patient with yourself. Let your husband know that it may be awhile, but it will improve over time.
IF it doesn't improve in a reasonable amount of time (And I have no CLUE what that would be? A few months maybe?) Of if it becomes something that is a hindrance for you, then maybe talk to your doctor? Perhaps, even with your 1 ovary you may need hormones as well?
Good luck, and LOADS of hugs. Go easy on yourself, your body went through MAJOR surgery, it takes time.
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