Just had mine tons of ?s now

I just had a vaginal hysterectomy Wednesday. Today was my first day with no pain meds so I guess things are moving along well. But I have lots of ?s!!!
Today being that me and my bf obviously can't have intercourse I caught him jerking off!!! It kinda hurt my feelings and idk if I'm just being over emotional or should I just get used to it? But I feel inadiquite as his lover bc sex is something I feel we are supposed to enjoy together?!?!?
2nd if I decide I want to "fool" around is it safe to have an orgasm as long as we don't have intercourse and nothing enters????
3rd am I going to feel normal again? I feel as though I have been changed. A big part of me was taken out of me and I
Not sure how to process this all yet!!!!
Any suggestions any answers? I need help!!!! #frusteratdconfused

silla711

well i will try to answer some of your questions but can't all,i am 6 weeks post op coming up this wed,i go back to the doctor this thurs to see how well i have healed,still haven't got the ok for sex yet but here is what i done,this is gonna sound crazy but i called my doctor to see if it would be ok to orgasm and she said as long as nothing is inserted and NO oral due to germs,that can cause a bacteria infection but you can stimulate yourself,may sound funny but i had to so i could see if i still worked cause i was terrified,i have to admit,it is somewhat different due to the fact the uterus is gone,i also lost my cervix and tubes,only have my ovaries left and on the subject of your boyfriend,believe me i have been here too,i have been married for 22 years,i am only 40 so needless to say i have a hubby that was "in need" also,it took me 3 weeks to get to where i could help him out but i do as much as possible,please don't let it bother you that you caught him in the act cause he is a man and has needs,i am not trying to sound mean by no means but i would rather catch him in that act then with somebody,right now you are still new to the fact so please just take it easy and do as the doctor says,you don't want to set yourself back,and on the feeling normal part,that i can't answer really cause i still don't feel normal and am now goin through some depression cause of the fact that i am now missing part of me,i had to have a hysterectomy due to cancer in my uterus,pre cancerous cells in my cervix and this was found by accident,thank God for a wonderful doctor i have,I hope this can help you in some way and hope you didn't take me wrong in any way just trying to help...i wish you a speedy recovery! Take care!

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better and already off major pain meds. I had da Vinci which is supposed to be "easy" and I was sluggish and in pain for the first two weeks and then intermittently in pain this past week. My mom had a vaginal hyster about 14 years ago and she said she felt great after two days. Lucky!

I really think solo sex is a normal part of many peoples' sex lives, even when they are married or partnered. I wouldn't take it personally.

However, if you would like to be more involved maybe you can do some nice things for him until you are able to allowed to have stimulation. I am finally feeling well enough to give my DH some attention.

I asked my doctor if it was OK to have an orgasm with only clitoral stimulation and he said yes, but I waited until 2-1/2 weeks before I tried (solo) because I wasn't much interested before that. It felt fine at the time, but the next day, I felt awful and had red bleeding and cramps. I have no idea if it was from the orgasm or if I was too active that day (I drove a lot) or if it was just the next stage of healing. I haven't felt much like testing things again so far.

If I were not spotting, I'd ask my doc about when receiving oral sex is OK, but at this point, it's a non-issue. I think he'd say 8 weeks though since that's how long he said nothing in the vagina and saliva has bacteria.

I would call your doctor and ask specifically what you are allowed to do during your healing time so you can have the most pleasure in the safest ways.

Lol.. Men do that. Completely normal.. Let yourself heal. Dont be foolish and try anything to soon.. I am 6 weeks tomorrow and still dont want to attempt anything even with docs ok..

I'm a bit more paranoid and waiting for the 12 week mark.. We are really only 40% healed at 6 weeks.. The dang cuff scares me.. Lol