Afraid of losing my sensuality

Hi Everyone!

I'm new here so bear with me! I just had a hysteroscopy and ultrasound yesterday and found out that I have large fibroids lining my uterus along with some endometriosis. My dd recommends a hysterectomy and I go back in a week to discuss it after researching it and talking with my husband, etc.

I have been having heavy periods for six years now, along with pain that doubles me over at times, large clotting and am severely anemic and taking iron three times a day for that.

I am going through so many emotions right now, but one of the biggest ones is the fear of losing my sensuality. This may sound silly, but, even though my periods are hell every month, that is the time when I am the-excuse the phrase-horniest!! My breasts are very tender and I like the way they feel at this time. Even though my husband and I are no longer able to have sex during this time anymore because of the heavy bleeding, I don't know if I want to give this up. Also, I don't know if the feelings will be different after surgery due to vaginal dryness, hormonal loss, etc.

Has anyone else felt this way, or am I crazy??

Please let me know.

Thanks!

Sue

Hi Sue. We had a discussion here on the boards a couple of weeks ago about this. Read this thread and pay particular attention to the response by Susan. She answers your question in detail here. It might be a good idea to print that thread and bring it with you when you see the doctor next week.

Best wishes,

Sue,
You don't mention what exact procedure you are planning. If you ovaries are healthy, there is no reason to have them out. In that case, it probably wouldn't change the other aspects you are talking about.

By the looks of your post, most of your problems are related to the fibroids. Endo can be guessed at with an ultrasound, but cannot be absolutely confirmed that way.

Why don't you take along a big list of questions to ask your Dr when you go back to him. One that I would ask is if you really need to have the ovaries out. Also, even with endo, you might not need to have them out. If the endo is mild or confined to the uterus, he can probably simply excise the endo and leave the ovaries. But he will need to inspect the ovaries and really look to be certain.

Why don't you check out the pull down menus on the front page of this site under Ladies-in-Waiting and see what is recommended by way of questions.

We would also love to talk to you in chat! We are there from 11am-1pm Central, Mon-Fri and 8-10pm each evening.

I have never worried about that even though I have not had surgery yet either. I just figure sex and sensuality has got to be better than it is now. No pain or heavy bleeding. I don't know about you but sometimes I feel just awful, ugly and non sexual due to my female problems.

Anyway that is my two cents.

Just concentrate on getting better.

Cath

Barb is right, endo can only be diagnosed during surgery (mine was diagnosed with a laparoscopy although we pretty much knew it was there due to my symptoms). If your ovaries are clean of endo, as mine were, you can keep them. You will need to have some treatment for the endo, though, you don't want to leave live implants in there after the hyst. I had laser surgery a couple of months prior to my hyst that got rid of most of the endo. During the hyst, my surgeon cauterized the small spots that had been missed.

I kept my ovaries so sex is fine (both the Big O and intercourse). There can be a little "breaking in" period after you resume sex since your body is still healing and things are a little tight and tender, but that clears up fast. A good friend of mine had her ovaries out with her hyst due to endo on the ovaries and she is fine sexually now too (after tweaking her HRT a little). She is taking Estratest now and feels she's back to her presurgery sexuality.

Make sure you are really comfortable with the skill level of your surgeon and go into it with a positive attitude. Since the most important sex organ is our brain, I really believe that the mind-body connection is very important with this surgery.

By the way, I had my TAH on 2/13 and just got back from a week's vacation traipsing all over Charleston, SC. The city was beautiful, the food was delicious and the sex was great. I can honestly say that my energy levels are higher than they've been in years and for me, this surgery was the great decision.

Good luck.

Okay, girls, I am the one with the sister who calls hysterectomy "snorflation". LOL. If this is what it feels like, bring it on!!!!!

Believe me, I went around this tree a few times myself. My main concern was how I would "feel" afterward.

If you can keep your ovaries, you will still have those same types of feelings, since they come from hormones and not your uterus! But, if your ovaries must be removed, good hrt as early as possible is your best bet. Some ladies come out of OR with a patch on! That sounds like a great way to do it.

Make sure you cover all this ground with the doctor. I told mine I felt I would lose something, and he said, yes, you will lose a few things, but you won't miss them. He was RIGHT. I lost the bleeding, clots, missed opportunities for intimacy, not going swimming with my kids, pain, clots, etc............

Now I can appreciate things I never had time or energy for before. And, honey, if you enjoy tender breasts, excuse me, but the increased activity alone can help you with that LOL!!!!!! All kidding aside, get all the information you can ahead of time. Anything that is removed hormonally should be able to be replaced! Your doc is the one to figure that out for you.

Best Wishes for a successful surgery and wonderfully uneventful recovery!

Mary