Still have pain, Don't know what to do

Hi, I am new so please bear with me,
I have been suffering lower abdominal pain for over 3 years, originally my GP told me it was fibroids & the best option would be hysterectomy, I was sent to see a gynocologist, had to wait 3 months for appointment by whoih time pain had subsided, she told me my fibroids werent that bad, and she didnt feel the need to do anything.
Over the 3 years I have suffered pain on & off,then just before Christmas last year my Dad died, and I was particularly down, the pain returned, I went to GP & was told it was IBS & probably stress related, a few months later no better so back to GP, this time she says its ovarian cysts & sends me for scan, yes I have cysts but not too bad & they should go on their own, pain getting worse & more frequent, sent for another scan, cysts on right overy gone, but one bad looking one on left ovary, (pain is normally on right side, low down, on my back, hip, buttocks, thigh often aches etc).
I get referred to a gyno again, I saw him 3 months ago, he said it was not the cyst causing the pain & most likely endometriosis, scheduled me for a laparoscopy (2 weeks ago), I was so pleased we finally seemed to have got tto the bottom of it, had my surgery on 8th sept, the gyno came to see me just after my op (whilst I was still groggy)said he found no sign of endo, but removed the cyst & said that was more than likely causing the pain (even though before he said it wouldnt), but he would see me in 6 weeks & if by chance the pain hadnt gone it must be the fibroids & we would have to consider hysterectomy!
I was fine for over a week, hardly any pain from the surgery & felt great, then this last weekend, my pain in back, felt awful all weekend, in agony.
I am so unhappy, I keep crying, I just dont know what to do,I feel like I am right back where I was 3 years ago, (but in much more pain now). I have had 2 weeks off work (practically unpaid) for nothing & now looks like I will have to have more time off (which I cant afford, as we are on debt management).
My husband just seems fed up with it all (he tries to be supportive) and I feel like for the past 6 months I have been neglecting my kids because I am always in too much pain to want to do anything.
Please does anyone have any words of wisdon for me? at the end of my tether really & dont know of anyone who has been through anything like this so have no one to talk too
x

Hey Sanmarco5,
I know that this whole process can be a bit overwhelming. I have suffered for over 10 years with my pain. I have been misdiagnosed so many times getting a 2nd opinion is just part of the routine. In my case I have fibroids that are the size of a 3 month pregnancey. My uterus is overextended and I just had a cyst 17cm long removed from my left ovary. My surgery was scheduled for 9/15 but I was too anemic for them to operate...so now I have to wait. I waited a long time to have surgery because of doctors telling me that "it's not that bad". I suffered immense pain that I could have avoided. Fibroids don't go away, they keep coming back or they keep getting bigger. A rupturing cyst every month is a nightmare.
I do understand that having this type of surgery can be a financial burden, my husband and I have been out of work for over a year now but I can't contribute to the family income if I spend most of it in the bed in PAIN! I have made sacrifices (hard to do when you don't much any way) like no shopping unless it is absolutely necessary. I mean nothing not a pack of gum not fries at mcdonalds, nothing... it is very difficult. Sometimes it only generated a few extra dollars a week but in 3 months we saved up enough to gas the cars during my surgery, pay smaller bills like cable, water, phone. Then only our bigger bills were left which my husbands unemployment can cover. Take your time with this and try not to stress.
Sit down make a plan and remember our husband's are going through this too. They are our protectors and it is difficult to watch the ones we love hurt. It also seems to them the problem is simple to fix. "Have surgery and have the darn thing out"...they can't nor won't feel the emotional side of that. They see bills not being paid, they see who is going to cook or clean the house. OMG the kids! They are just as scared as we are and that may not always be voiced in the most pleasant way.
I hope this helps.

Hi
Thanks for your reply, Its lovely to be able to talk with someone who is going through the same thing!
I have called my GP today and made an appointmtnt fot this evening to see if they can bring my hospital appointment forward, not sure if they will be still over 4 weeks to wait then if they schedule surgery well who knows how long that will take!
I am also anaemic, my bloods were done pre op & I was 8.7, I am not too sure how low this is, but I am now on iron tablets.
My Mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 4 years ago, she had a full hysterectomy then, 2 years ago it came back so she had a course of chemo, 2 month ago she found out it was back again, still deciding if she will go for more chemo (she doesnt seem as motivated as she was, since she lost my dad just before christmas), so all through this I have also have the cancer concern in the back of my mind too, just feel like I want to get rid of everything, and not only would this relieve the pain but also the chances of going through what Mum has been through. But every time I mention cancer to my gyno, he just says 'oh no I cant see any cancer at the moment', just doesnt really reassure me!!

Stop. Close your eyes. And just Breathe. Repeat as necessary.

I know what it's like to feel like you're neglecting your kids because of pain and fatigue. I have FMS. My daughter is 8 years old and no, I can't play with her as much as I'd like. But I still pick her up from school everyday, supervise her homework, discipline her when necessary, look at the pictures she draws, laugh at her antics with our cats, talk to her, tuck her in at night, hug her (way more often than she'd like) and tell her I love her every day.

As mother's we're expected to be the primary caregivers in the household both to our kids and to our husbands. So many of us continue to put ourselves last on the list - if we even make it to the list at all! But when your health is compromised you MUST put yourself on the list. Send your husband to the men's side of this website called Mister HysterSisters. Sit him down and explain to him that you aren't doing this to make your lives any more difficult at this point. Yes, the timing of it sucks but that's life. You are sick and you need support. No matter how sick of it he is, I guarantee it's nowhere near as sick of it as YOU are.

You have special needs right now and you deserve to have them met just like any other member of your family. But your husband may feel helpless. I know talking to my husband sometimes frustrates him because he can't FIX it. So tell him what you need. Acknowledge that he can't fix your uterus but also let him know what he CAN do for you.

Tell him you're not *expecting* him to fix it. That was the biggest problem with my DH. He thought that whenever I talked to him about it I was expecting him to make it all better somehow. And he put himself through horrible guilt and stress and anxiety because he thought he was failing me because he couldn't FIX it. Men don't understand that simply listening and acknowledging what were feeling can sometimes be all that we need at times.

I hope this helps and I'm sending positive thoughts and energy your way.

Leigh