The weird things this is doing to my head!

I'm one week away from an LSH and on the emotional roller coaster. While I'm embracing my decision (huge bleeding fibroids, 1 week lost per month due to bleeding, hemmoraging and pain- kinda like a miscarraige every month, and severe anemia that doesn't resolve), I wasn't expecting such a head trip. While I have a really wonderful support system, I live alone after a horrific divorce 7 years ago. I usually don't 'feel alone' but going to the pre-ops (I have to drive 50 miles each way) and dealing with all the details by myself has brought up big Feeling Alone and Abandonded issues. And that makes me reflect on parts of my life, from childhood to The Divorce, which brings up all sorts of other issues, none which have anything to do with the direct issue of my surgery!

I have read so many of the posts; so may have been helpful in my preparations, both practical and emotional (actaully, I wouldn't have been nearly as prepared as I am, without Hystersisters- its taken the place of a DH or SO or other family). I try not to let those that tell of bad post-op experiences worry me, but I'm still really scared. This will be my 4th surgery, so I know pretty much what to expect...but I'm really scared.

So, intellectually, I'm prepared, feeling optimistic and up-beat (I am actually having a Hysterectomy Shower this evening). But emotionally, I'm a mess and no one seems to get it.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Ocean Queen -

So, your having a LSH. Leaving your cervix. I too have a fibroid, a uterus so tipped back it sits on my pelvic bone in the rear area. I have constant butt, back and leg (sciatic) pain from the fibroid pushing on the nerves (the fibroid is small but in a bad area of the uterus I guess). I have lived with 8 day periods in which I became anemic until I had kids so now the 8 day flow is all in 3 with about 6 days of spotting afterwards. I've decided to have a hyster after a recent laparoscopy showed no endo. I struggle with keeping the cervix since i've never had an abnormal pap nor do we have cervical cancer in my family. How and why did you make your decision to keep your cervix?

Hi. No problem venting. I can kinda relate to what you are saying. I am single and live alone. While I have family and friends, I still felt alone. Not really before the surgery, but about 2-3 weeks after at home I had some really strong feelings about being alone, where my life had been and where it was, etc. It's kinda hard to explain, but I think you'll understand. I think some of it was that before the surgery (I waited 6 1/2 weeks) and then for 2 weeks after people would call or stop by. Then it stopped. That was when I felt more up to talking to people or seeing them, but they stopped the more constant contact. But I got past that point cuz I could go and do more. But I understand what you are saying.

Take care of yourself!