Help Please??? post op depression and regret???

Can someone help me please...........I am 25 and had a T.A.H August 1 and so it has probobly has been a few weeks and I am on horomone pills daily but I was on this before the hyst. because I was on an injection called Lupron for Endomitriosis and p.c.o.s. I was always in severe pain and I chose the hyst as a last option hoping to help somewhat with the pain. I knew I would never be able to have children naturally so a year ago me and my husband talked about all this and he was fine with adoption and said he wanted me to be pain free so we were fine about the surgery. Well all of a sudden this week I can't stop crying. I don't know why but I almost feel like I regret the surgery even though my doc. tolled me this would be a good option and it was my last choice. Is this normal ? Has anyone else felt this way after a hyst. ? Then tonight I don't know why but I asked my husband if he was sad that I did the surgery and he said yes............ I don't know why he is saying this now. It just breaks my heart that he has to suffer too because of my choice and my body!!!!!!!!! This makes me feel even worse. I just feel like im going crazy...................please help someone.........thank you so much in advance, angel eyes

Dear Friend,
It is all right to grieve over the loss of something very important, something that the door is now closed forever on. Sometimes life just gives us a choice of lemons and we have to make lemonade. I'm sure that you made the very best choice possible with your body, and that time will ease the pain you have now. Please be kind to yourself and your husband...you are both doing your best with a tough decision. Even older women who have had all their children sometimes feel like they have lost something precious when they have surgery and the reproductive door is closed forever. The important thing now is to get yourself well. Don't be afraid to walk through the grief, and to cry on the shoulders of women who have been there. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. You are a long way from being recovered physically or emotionally from this surgery...things will get better.
Much love,
Joma

(((angel_eyes)))
I'm so sorry for your situation and your sadness. I feel it is only natural that you would have these thoughts and emotions. Most of us had to struggle to some extent to adjust to the loss of our reproductive organs so you are not alone. This surgery messes with your body, your emotions and your mind and it just takes a little time for everything to level out.
It's good that you talked ahead of time but often there is still a time of mourning and even grieving over a loss like this. I suspect your dh was just being honest that there is sadness associated with the surgery. It probably has taken him by surprise as well and it is all just sinking in. With time and focusing on your future together and your other options I hope this pain will ease and you'll be able to find some peace.
Be kind to yourself and don't dwell on the sad thoughts. Comfort one another and share your hurts. It will bring you closer together and I think you will find comfort in your love for one another.
I hope you'll feel better soon.
's,Rita

Thank You all for yuor support!!!!!!!!!!! I really needed it. Thank you everything that was said will trully be of help of me...........love, angeleyes

Dear Angel_eyes,
I just returned from my 3 week post op visit. I had a TAH and RSO Aug. 7th. I had LSO done back in 1989 due to endometriosis, I was only 21. Most of my last 16 years have been spent dealing with the pain of this disease. I did have a DD but lost two babies after her. I held on to the fact that maybe I'd get pregnant again but that was not to be. Today, I sat in my Dr's. off. crying over my loss. He was so sweet and gave me alot of helpful advice and kind words. One thing that I told him was that I felt guilty about feeling so sad because I did have a DD. He said that this was truly a process of grieving that I must allow myself to go through, give myself "permission" to really grieve. He said until that happened I'd never be able to get through this. He did say that even though I knew that this had to be done, my emotions will tell me otherwise until I've given myself a time to grieve and a time to heal. I did have a setback (my incision re-opened) so he felt like this slowed down my healing process. He said that this was not something that happened overnight but that emotionally I would heal easier once I healed physically and could really see the benefits of having had this done. I feel for you and for your DH and I pray that the words that my wonderful Dr. shared with me might be of some comfort to you. It is a sad loss for us and for our husbands as well but sometimes I think their sadness is due to seeing us so hurt and not being able to help us. Just allow your DH to shower you with love and I'll be praying for the both of you. Hugs, Connie.

P.S. Preciouspearl...if you see this... I too am in Billings, Mt. I'm originally from Texas but we travel with DH job. I enjoy it here but it's been too hot!! LOL

My mom went through the same thing. I wish yr husband could more be strong for you than to add to your pain this way. I'm sure he doesn't mean it to be hurtful. Most guys are clueless. Maybe if you guys go to counseling it could help you work through these feelings and realize you haven't made a mistake, you only did what was necessary.

Angel

I am so sorry that you are hurting right now. Please find someone close to you that you can vent to, or vent here, whatever makes you have a little less stress. We get h's for a reason, not just because. You are a strong woman from all you have been through and G*d is just giving you another challenge. Hugs

I'm not so sure that's not adding to my acute onset Blues....I've known for years I wasn't going to have any more babies-heck I had my tubes melted 11 years ago. But for some reason, it just feels empty now. Added to the other issues I have going on and I feel very overwhelmed at the moment as well. God Bless and Comfort you.

Angel_eyes,

Here is a story for you. Before I found out that my tubes were blocked and I could not have children, my husband told me he wanted 10 kids. I had always never imagined myself the marrying kind much less having kids. I was shocked and said "how about 2" to which he responded "ok, we'll compromise at 5". He was teasing me but he really did want a big happy family. You can imagine the difficulty I had informing him the doctor's news that I could not conceive unless I underwent invitro or corrective tubal surgery (no insurance for invitro). Bless his heart, he shrugged his shoulders and said in a cute little dialect "so we travel". Over the years I would occasionally look at him when he wasn't aware and feel very sad that I was not able to give him that family. Of course, he was sad, but he loves me very much and that conquered all. We just had our 26th anniversary last June and many friends have expressed to us that they feel our bond is so strong because children can be a challenge and a threat to a relationship. Stay focused on each other and that if adoption does not work into the plan, it allows more time for you to care for and nurture each other. We make ourselves a big part of other family and friends children and have found ourselves surrounded with their love. You can do it too!

When you are back in the swing of things, treat yourselves to a nice romantic weekend somewhere.

The best to you and keep your chin up,
Becky

I read your thread I wanted you to know you are not alone. I had my TAH and before and after surgery I cried about never being able to have the opportunity to give birth to a child. I am 5 weks post op and find myself still crying. I know my decision was a very good one because my quality of life was not great with my horrible periods that lasted 15-20 days a month and they were very heavy. My husband and I talked about my options to continue being miserable every month or have the surgery to improve my quality of life. We both know the decision to have my surgery was the best thing I could do but we both are sad that our dreams of having a little baby had to end this way. I dont think your husband meant to hurt you by telling you he is sad you had the surgery, I am sure he is sad that you had no other choice. Your love for each other will help you during this difficult time. Just so you know we did adopt a little girl and we love her very much. God really blessed us with a wonderful daughter, adoption is always an option for you both. For now continue to recover and focus on you!!!!! Your quality of life will improve and you will be ready to explore any options that come your way! YOU DID THE RIGHT THING YOUR HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING!!!! ENJOY EACH OTHERS LOVE!!!!!