so frustrated with my life

Sorry I know all I do is whine on here. I am so depressed and I have no one else to turn to.
I am so lonely. I feel like a prisoner in my home. I knew my husband wouldn't help, but I had hoped he would. He didn't bother to visit me in the hospital, didn't even get me a get well card. I have had to do everything at home by myself since day 2. Okay that is a lie, my mom came a couple of days, but that was it. All the child care, cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry has to be done by me. I understand that he needs to work but he can help out once in a while. Even on weekends when he is home I have to get up with the kids. It upsets me, but what upsets me more is that his friend is going through some medical issues right now, and he is being totally supportive to him. He leaves me at home with the kids to deal with his friend's issues. I feel so worthless. On top of the hysterectomy I have a lump in my breast. The doctor wanted to wait a few months to see what would happen with it, and if it hadn't changed then he would do an excisional biopsy. I know it is most likely nothing, but until the pathologist says it is clear of cancer, I worry. He won't even talk to me about it. I feel trapped. I am just so overwhelmed with all these negative feelings. I want to cry all the time. I try to do things that I like but I feel so bored and tired, and I honestly don't know if I like anything anymore. I don't know if this is all hormonal, or if I have just given up. Sorry again and thanks for letting me rant.

((((Big Hugs))))

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. Feel free to vent with us anytime.

Have you had a heart to heart talk with your husband about how you are feeling?

I can only imagine how hurtful this is for you.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this! He should be here for you in your time of need! Jus sit down and tell him how you feel! Hope things get better soon! Feel free to vent anytime! We are here to lean on each other!

I try to talk to him, but he just shuts me out or gets angry. He behaves like a child. I am of little significance, and I think he is only with my because I am the mother of his children.

I understand completely mila I myself am in a very empty relationship. It was pretty much done before my surgery but I had some hope that maybe things would change after and it hasn't. the feeling trapped part is awful I know. Is there someone you can talk to during this time? I have been talking to a therapist for months now and im slowly starting to learn that I'm really not trapped, I just need to get the confindence in myself to leave... Sending hugs your way sweetie xoxoxo Kim

Thanks Kim, I am pretty alone in this. I have no friends, just acquaintances, and my family members have their own things to deal with. Empty relationship is the perfect way to describe it. I am usually okay with this arrangement, but normally I don't have so much on my plate. I wish he would just man up and give me some support or attention. I hope you are able to get through this. It is good to hear that the therapist is helping you. I will see what my options are in regards to seeking help. (((hugs)))

Mila,

I am sad to hear that you feel this way. I am praying for your situation.

mila bo bila,
I too have been frustrated with my dh. I tried to educate him as much as possible before I had surgery, but he was not interested in knowing anymore then he already did. When it came time to have the surgery, he was so supportive and loving, and he truly cared about my recovery. After about 3 days home from the castle, he started to expect things to get back to normal. He no longer asked how I was feeling or if he could help me somehow. After almost a week of this, my emotions got the best of me, and I exploded. I cornered him and let him know exactly how I was feeling, physically and emotionally. It was not pretty. I cried uncontrollably, and he just got madder the more I cried. We've been married for 23 years, and I was ready to throw in the towel. I realized that the shock my body has just endured has caused my emotional outbursts, and even though I am disappointed in his behavior, I have to believe my 23 year marriage cannot be torn apart because of this. So this past weekend, I asked him to sit down with me and talk this through. I explained my need for HRT, and some compassion from him. I told him I do not choose to be emotional, I truly cannot control it. I don't want to spend every day crying anymore then he wants to come home from work to a crying wife. He asked me what I want him to do. I told him hugs work wonders, and so do kind words.
Since my blowup, i must say things are going much better. He is far from perfect, and I'm still a little irritated by the fact he thinks I could be doing more now that I've been home 2 weeks. But I feel I also need to put a little more effort into letting him know exactly what is going on with me, and not assume he will know.
I know I really didn't help you with your situation, but you need to know there are others out here going through similar situations, and we are here to listen.
If you have friends and family near you, please ask them to visit you. Just talking with a friend can help so much. My female friends, and female relatives understand what I'm going through so much more then my husband, and right now they are so important to my recovery.
As for the house, who cares if you have dust bunnies. Who cares if there is a ring around your toilet bowl. Who cares if the laundry is piled up. My house looks like that right now, but it will be there in two days, and even two weeks from now, but my health must take priority.
Try to smile today, I promise it helps!

Thank you for your prayers howdoyouknow, and thank you for sharing your story tillybean. It is good that you were able to get your message across to your husband. Right now I don't have the energy to blow up, but I feel a storm brewing. Hopefully by husband will take after yours and not be such a self-centered guy.

Hi mila, you now have a friend!! even though we have never met and maybe never will, we can support eachother through this site! Sometimes talking is all a person needs to get through the day. Please take care of you as you are still in the recovery period!! Sending hugs your way. Xoxoxo Kim