Does time improve perceptions of recovery?

Hi there everyone. I go in for my hyst/BSO on May 30 and have a question (another one - such a helpful site!). My experience in telling people is different from what I've read here. Rather than hearing horror stories, I have heard from several women who have had hysts how they were "totally back to normal in 6 weeks", "didn't know they'd had surgery 2 months later", and even "went back to work in 10 days" or "fine after just 1 night in the hospital". The only experience that even comes close to what I read here is my mom's, and she's a worrywart who insists that "it will be about a year before you are normal". So what gives? Are these women all incredibly resilient, or has time dimmed their perceptions of what recovery was really like, or am I really just giving in to some innate pampering desire by thinking I should expect more what you ladies discuss than what they have said?

I struggle with "expectations" -- that is, other people's! Right now I'm feeling like I'm expected to be normal - hormonal adjustment and all - after 6 weeks, and if I miss more than a couple weeks of work I'll be pampering myself. Any help in discovering the "reality" of this situation would be greatly appreciated.

I too have been beseiged with variations of recovery and as we all know people are different and their problems are different, but really???!!!!! A difference of 6 weeks recovery or 1 yr????
I DO PLAN to do the "rest" thing and obey my DR!!
My surgery is for 5/25 and I'll be glad when it's over. I currently have company and doing a lot of cooking, I look at it as Custer's last stand and the last of my Super Woman image!!!!

Hope everything goes well with you and all of our "sisters".....

sheilac

Rosa
I am 17 days post-op. I feel pretty good but I have the swelly belly going on. My sister had a TAH in feb and went back to work 3 weeks later She still gets tired and has a big swelly belly(I think). I think that the more resting that you can get done then better. I am scheduled to be out of work for 7 weeks. I am feeling kind of restless, but all I have to do is think about my sister and it reminds my to rest,rest,rest. They say that you don't fully recover until 6 months to 1 year. Seems like a long time, but considering what you have all ready put up with, the time should go quick.

Recuperations, HRT, and hairstyles = the same one doesn't fit everybody!

You know what happens when you see somebody with a cute hairstyle, rush out and get the same thing and you wind up looking like the dog's backside? You can't assume someone else's recuperation is going to be exactly like yours or the HRT they are using is going to be perfect for you. When it doesn't, you'll feel like the dog's back side.

I'm 55, fat, and nonathletic; ergo, my recuperation should have been problematic. Certainly harder or more difficult or something than say a physically fit and healthy gal of 35. I would wish my ease and comfort of surgery and recuperation on everyone! Other than being tired it's been wonderful, absolutely no pain. TVH with right ovary out. Both were supposed to come out but the left one refused.

I must be one of those resilient people. Perhaps I have excellent genetics and am predisposed to quick healing. I have been careful to follow all the instructions and consider myself very fortunate.

On the hysterectomy scale, there are going to be the best and worst case scenarios. One should probably hope for the best case rather than on the worst case but in reality one will probably fall somewhere in the middle, sometimes leaning toward the high end or low end of the scale. But to compare one's recovery to the best case then berate one's self for not being there is doing a huge disservice to one's self!!! Stop pounding, accept the fact that the majority of the women are somewhere in the middle ground territory and how you feel is okay! Like Mr. Rogers says, "You are perfect, just the way you are."
Hugs,
Miranda

Hi, Rosa,

This is a really tough question since I think every woman would react differently to major surgery. Couple this with the fact that your dealing with hormones, and you can see why there's probably such a wide variance of responses.

Physically, I recovered fairly rapidly from my surgery, and didn't have to deal with long term pain or anything like that. Emotionally I was a wreck, tired, cranky from the hot flashes and lack of sleep, etc. due to not being able to find a hrt that worked for me.

I suppose the quickest recoveries would be those women in great physical shape, have no surgical complications, and who either keep their ovaries or have no trouble with their hrt. I'm sure a high motivation to return to a normal life helps a lot, too.

I think memory is selective and plastic (changes). But if women who've had one ask how I am, I always say, "I feel great but I'm still tired." And even women who say they felt great afterwards say, "Oh, yes, it took me a long time to get my energy back." But it's a mild thing compared to the immediate postop pain and to the pain many of us had BEFORE surgery, so I think it's not foremost in their minds when they first hear your news.

The first thing they want to do is reassure you, and their memory coughs up those memories first. If you ask, "Didn't you have mood swings? Weren't you tired?" often you'll get a different story as they remember that part, too.

Thanks, Denise, I think you're right. I look forward to hearing what other women have to say, but my gut reaction was that it was selective and since they feel so much better since before the hyst, the hyst recovery time is just a blip on the radar screen. Your suggestion to ask more detailed questions is very helpful. I too think they're trying to help, but it's a big lesson to me that when this is all over and I talk with someone about to face surgery, not to gloss over it because I want them to not worry -- because in my case the 'glossing over' puts an undue pressure there that I'll be abnormal if it takes longer. Honestly, if it weren't for this site, my perception would be that if I weren't 100% back to "normal" with higher energy than ever within 6 weeks there would either be a problem or I'd be babying myself. Thankfully this site has given me some balance. Look forward to hearing what others have to say on this.

I never had mood swings prior to surgery and I didn't have any post surgery. I never had PMS and I did have menopausal symptoms but mood swings was not one of them. I also didn't suffer from horrendous pain pre surgery. Mine was irregular bleeding to continuous bleeding and clots. I experienced stress over the idea of surgery to a relatively minor degree although the surgery date coincided with the 3rd anniversary of my daughter's death and that was a lonely time for me. I was tired after surgery (TVH) just like others, spent 2 hours on an activity and slept 2 hrs. to recuperate. However, I drove at 1 week and am feeling fine at 5 weeks. I return to work full time next week. I expect to be exhausted when I come home each night. One just doesn't go from this mode to full time work and not experience tiredness from the transition. I can say I have been most fortunate in having a body and spirit that seem to heal well, sometimes without my conscious effort.
Miranda

Hi Rosa,

I admit to being one of those people who would say it was easier than I expected. I could be Miranda's twin except for the reason for surgery. I had no bowel prep! The only pain I ever had was at the incision, I drove after one week, had no more than a few new twinges at 3 wks, and felt good except for the fatique. I turned the last corner somewhere around 10-12 wks when I realized I no longer was feeling tired.

Having said that, I must also say I would never tell someone else that "it will be a breeze". I've read so much on these boards about what other ladies have gone through before surgery with pain and bleeding and after surgery with hormonal issues. I had none of that...I went into my surgery feeling well and already on ERT.

If you want to have a realistic indication of what recovery is like, here's a Poll I started in March, when I was a little over 3 months Post Op. It is a real eye opener as far as recovery expectations go.

https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/sho...threadid=22246

Even though it is true that we all heal at different rates, statistics do show that initial recovery for a TAH and a TVH is of 6 to 8 weeks and for a SLH 4 to 6 weeks. By then, you are about 40% recovered and ready to resume activities slowly . Complete recovery, though, takes between 4 months to 1 year.

I think that some people's memory gets into a little after a while and they forget how it really was. Others just ignore their body's messages and plunge ahead and are the first to be surprised at complications down the road.

The only thing I know for sure is that we have only one chance to heal well and that this is the one.

Best of luck in quest for answers.