Stressing About Work

I just comfirmed with my gyno that we are going to do this and scheduled my surgery for the 18th of Feb on Wed. My boss was "sick" and "working from home" so I sent him an email letting him know I was having surgery (didn't say what kind) on the 18th and would be completly out the rest of the week then be able to work from home for the next 4+ weeks and we would need to talk to work out the details. I am a programmer and we can work from home so laying on my back working from home is no big deal, infact with my migraines and stuff I do it regularlly anyway.

Well he finally managed to drag his sorry behind into work on Friday when on everything I support decided to blow up and I spent the day trying to get it fixed. Meanwhile he has not responded AT ALL to my email about be out for surgery. He has responded to other emails but not that one.

I finally got him face to face for a few seconds about my support issue and told him we need to talk about me being out and make plans and the responce I got leads me to belive he has no clue at all about how little he will have me available when everyone else in the office knows what is going on... I have a bigmouth and have to talk about these type of things.

To make matters worse my co-worker's wife is pregges and is due in the next week or so, so he will be out the same time I am and he is the only other person who has any type of clue about the stuff I support.

I must get stupid boss man to realize he will have to step up and do the support on the failing system as I will not be able to do the support just development - and only when I feel like it.

I will go crazy if I do not do some work but I will not allow myself to be stressed out either and if boss man does not get on board I will not be able to do this when scheduled. But if I do not do this I will have to keep suffering with horrid cycles and migraines and that is not fair -MEN!!!!!

Comper68 --

I am sorry to hear your boss is not treating you right. Maybe you should have a meeting this week with him and his boss, so that the higher ups know that you are having health issues and need to have a surgery. You don't have to tell them what surgery you are having if you don't want. My boss was being kind of a jerk before my surgery and I just said, ok you have a period every 2 weeks and see how good you feel and how long you can go. Most of the time when you say the p word to a man they gross out. I hope you are able to have the surgery as scheduled. Just remember you are #1 in the chain of importance. Take care and God bless.

Hi Comper, I'm sorry to hear you're having difficulty with your boss and hope he comes around quickly and gets his act together. But whether he does that in a timely manner or not, ultimately he will have the situation put upon him, and you should do whatever is necessary for yourself to feel better.

I just don't understand some people and their inability to grasp a situation and step up and handle what needs to be done. My husband was a programmer for many years and from there moved into management and became a director. But you can bet, that man still knows how to get into a system, do analysis, and code! There has been times he's been late for dinner, or has logged in from home, to support his group and get a project done. He has also had to deal with several key people being out at the same time, but he manages to get the job done.

Anyway, I spoke with my husband about your post and he said that if you can't get your boss to understand about this that you might want to go to your HR department (don't know if you have one, but in case you do) and explain to them the situation and have them explain to your boss that you are (I'm assuming you're in the U.S.) protected under the FMLA, and quite frankly it can create a lot of trouble, lawsuit kind, if they do not accomodate your needs (such as time off for surgery and recovery time). As for your co-worker being off, that is also protected under FMLA, and I wouldn't worry about it, you need to take care of you. If your boss isn't prepared for this or won't take it on, either it's poor planning on his part if he can't pull resources (people) from elsewhere to cover it, or poor planning on his higher ups, neither of which are you responsible for.

I would try to schedule a sit down with him to explain your situation, and if he still has outlandish expectations for you, go to HR or whoever handles policies such as FMLA for your company.

Big HUG to you, you certainly do not need this added stress and I hope it all gets worked out and you can go into surgery and recover with peace of mind.

Hi Comper68. This sounds like a pretty frustrating situation. I once faced a non-medical issue and waited on a reply from my boss for too long. Finally, I sent an email with my request and ended with something like, "If I receive no reply by such-and-such time on such-and-such day, I will assume that my proposal meets with your approval." I got a reply within 15 minutes.

I had assumed I would be able to work from home after my surgery as well, although I was surprised to find that I had extreme difficulty concentrating on anything for the first two weeks. I could barely watch a TV sitcom. The few times I did try to work, it was incredibly unproductive. While I hope your brain doesn't go through what mine did, you may want to think about alternative plans for getting your work done, just in case you find that you really need to rest your brain as well as your body. The last thin you need during recovery is stress about getting work done when you're supposed to be pampering yourself.

Good luck!

I agree with kkcmtanj. If you have an HR department, let them know. Even if your surgery date is fast approaching, if you have made a reasonable effort to inform your employer that you need to take advantage of FMLA, then you are fine. Take care of yourself first, worry about everything else after. Good luck!

Thanks for all the advice! My boss is just an idiot sometimes. Just happens that his boss already knows I will be having surgery and when and that I will try to work from home but may not be able to. She stopped by when she was in the office to say hi and I mentioned it to her because my boss hadn't replied to me.

I have no problem telling my boss what is up everyone else I work with knows at least some of the details. Monday if he manages not to be out "sick" again - never met anyone who is out more than me, I will be having a chat with him if I have to sit on him to do it!

If I have to go over his head to his boss I will. It will help that she is a female. If I have to go to HR also I will. I wanted to avoid not working at all as we get unlimited sick time so if I work even just a little I still get paid but if I have to FMLA it I will.

So Boss Man finally managed to get him self to work this week. Ok weather was deadly yesterday. Don't know why he couldn't email or call me yesterday. I sent him a meeting request to make plans for while I am out for my surgery. He accepted the meeting request so we will see how it goes.

I hope he finally gets it. If not next step is his boss.

Boss Man is a total Idiot! Good thing his boss is in the office today. I had my meeting with him and told him what kind of surgery I was haveing and it still went over his head. My co-worker who's wife is due to deliver any second now will be out most likely the same time I am having my surgery. Boss keeps forgetting this.

So I was explaining when I was going to be out and how long I would be unreachable. I said the first week after surgery all I would do is check my email at a certain time for emails from them with questions that I would answer - no one know a thing about the stuff I support. He then asked if I would be back in the office the next week. I had already told him a couple of times that I would be out of the office for at least 4 weeks and would only be able to work from home on a very limited basis. The light finally dawned sort of and now he is thinking short term disability for me - which is fine by me but he still has not planned who is going to support the stuff I do. If I am going to be on disability I will not do any work!!!

Ok now that I am done crying!!

Just got an email from Boss Man asking if I could reschedule the surgery as it was not an emergency and was elective and they would have to bring someone in to puck up the slack.

Well I sent him back email with all the gorry details and copied his boss saying there was not a chance I could change the surgery date as I was sick and tired of living in he11.

Now I have to worry about lossing my job! Review time is here and they can change it as it has not been given yet.

Boss Man shows up in my office and says that between now and my surgery date I will need to document the stuff I do as they will be bringing in someone to pick up the slack. he he. There is no way to document everything I know about this system in the amount of time left - heck it would take a month to halfway train anyone on it and for just a month or so well this will be interesting. If he wanted to do some work it would be much easier.

At least Boss Man finally is starting to get the picture. Everyone else is shaking thier heads wondering what planet Boss Man is on and if the person they bring in will run away on day one or not.