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Need to Vent Please (long) Need to Vent Please (long)

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  #1  
Unread 07-16-2002, 07:29 PM
Need to Vent Please (long)

I don't think I am going to make it to my surgery date without having a mental breakdown. Work, home, family....I don't know where to begin. I guess with work.

Originally I was going to have my surgery in June. That was until one of the staff in my department decided she didn't want to do the two small areas of my job my employer wanted her to do while I was gone. She got upset, called off work, and went on a drinking binge. She then decided she had too much work related stress and wanted to go on leave to recover. She scheduled her return date to be after I had my surgery and returned to work. After a while she was let go for not seeing a doctor or returning to work.

I postponed my surgery. We then brought in a temp and I spent the last five weeks training him. He said he would be there until I returned from surgery. I had my doctor only write me out for four weeks for my TAH/BSO. Today, (13 days before surgery) the temp comes in and says he has to leave for a new job two to three weeks before I return. There is not enough time to train someone new. My bosses were great and told me not to postpone again. However, they did put my home number on speed dial and jokingly told me that after two weeks they would send a car if the needed me to come in. (they were just joking) But, it scared me.

On to home, my SO is a very sweet man, but alot older than I am. (18 years) He is used to having me get everything for him. (drink refills, dinner, his laundry, etc.) He knows I won't be able to do all this, but I wonder how long it will last. (granted he has a problem with the veins in his legs and doesn't always get around well.)

With all the extra time spent at work the last month, and with a major remodeling job in my livingroom, my house is a wreck. I don't even know where to begin. We have managed to get the new floor in the livingroom so I can start moving furniture back in tomorrow. But, the furniture has been piled in two other rooms and they are a disaster. Then a few hours ago, we get a call and find out we are getting out of state company this weekend. (AHH!!!) So, I have until Friday night to have everything in order, plus the extra hours at work.

With all this, I am starting to seriously miss my children. They spend six weeks with their father during the summer and it is almost six weeks now. I just want to see them before my surgery. Then they go on vacation with my mother. I can't wait until school year when I have them home again.

With as crazy as my days have been, the one thing I don't have alot of time to dwell on is the surgery itself. (Maybe that's a good thing) But, as soon as I lay down at night, it is all I can think of. I am definately not sleeping well these days. I feel like I am going downhill really fast on the losing my mind category.

Very sorry about all this venting. I think I may just be pmsing. Already moody and I am dreading the flooding and everything else associated with my very last period that is due this Sunday. And the first time I wrote this post, aol booted me off just before I went to send it. Hope it goes through this time.

Thanks for just letting me get this out.
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  #2  
Unread 07-16-2002, 08:37 PM
Need to Vent Please (long)

Dear Crackers,

I think you are having a normal reaction to a very stressful situation. It sounds like you went out of your way to do the best for your employer. All you can do is your best, no more. They are lucky to have such a dedicated employee.

Is there anyone who can help take some of the stress out of your life now? I am one of those people who does not like to ask for help, but it makes me feel good when I am able to help others. Are you the same way? If so, perhaps you can give someone else the chance to feel good about helping you at a time when you need it.

Take care of yourself. Good luck with your surgery.


Jane
(super-woman in recovery)
  #3  
Unread 07-16-2002, 08:42 PM
I hear you!!

Oh girl do I hear you!!!! I am having my TAH in september.. I found out last feb that this is what has to be done, why wait so long? to accomodate my workload, to make sure everyone gets in
there VACATIONS (like I get one this year, HAH!!) Make sure that my DH can get his time off so he can be home w/me, our boys ( 10 & 11yrs) will be in school, so it won't be so bad during the day, my boss thinks I'm going to be gone 6 weeks, boy is she crazy. one of the girls I work with is pregnant, and has pre eclampsia already @23 weeks, she might go on bedrest while I'm gone on leave, I have been tryng to prepair our house for recovery, but things are moving slowly. I know that this is the right decision... but I have emotions that send me into a rage..
then a crying fit.... i can't get a grip on it. I am yelling at my DH for no reason, and bless his heart, he doesn't understand. My friends keep telling us that we need another child, the say things like " oh you guys need a little girl, she'd be so cute" KNOWING I am about to be gutted like a fish!! so, i think I've realized, just sit back, have your surgery, go home, DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE, get pampered......recover...and it will be over sooner for your than it will be for me............. take care..........relax.......smile :-)
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  #4  
Unread 07-16-2002, 09:51 PM
Need to Vent Please (long)

Oooh, Crackers! You have every reason to vent!

What a lot you have on your plate right now. I am so glad that this last employment glitch didn't get in the way of your surgery.

I really believe that, as honourable as it is to be a caregiver to your loved ones, you still deserve the time it takes to be well. You would do everything in your power to make sure that they had enough healing time, wouldn't you?

Because this is major surgery, it's really important to give yourself permission to be out of that role for awhile. But, it's likely that your family will take their cues from you. One sister (I wish I could remember who) posted that continuing to wear her pyjamas was the key. Her theory was that as soon as you put on 'real' clothes, everyone thinks you're well enough to go back to your usual routine. That certainly was my experience.

But whatever it takes, I so hope that you get the time and pampering necessary to heal.

It wasn't that long ago that I had those anxieties that come pre-op, just as I was falling off to sleep. They were the ones that I could no longer push aside with the activities of my day. What helped me was knowing that so many of my sisters had faced the same fears and had come through to the other side.

We, your hystersisters, are here for you, Crackers - every step of the way.


Cecee
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