Husband or no??

Great Question.....

After my yearly appointment with my OB/GYN in April (alone), my dr suggested that I have an ultrasound (due to fibroids - he wanted a closer look - again alone). The decision was made to have a TAH/BSO and it was scheduled for June 7, 2001.

My experience with my preop appointment went like this. My husband went with me (which in my case was great because he was able to ask questions and gather information that I missed). When we arrived at my drs office, we watched the hyster video and then were brought to an exam room. While in the exam room my dr. came in and listened to my lungs, heart and had a very general looksey at me to make sure I was not ill. After that we went back to my drs office and he explained everything about the procedure (what he intended to do and how). This was very good and my husband was able to ask questions (some of which I missed myself) and we were able to compare notes after this (two heads were better than one in my case). This also gave him a little better handle on what was going to happen to me and how we would both be impacted (seemed to make it a little more real for both of us).

On surgery day, he was with me during the preop time up until surgery and after surgery while I drifted in and out of lala land that day.

I agree with all the others that posted that this is a personal preference answer to your question, but in my case I was glad my dh was with me.

I hope everything goes well with your surgery and recovery!!!

I did not bring my husband to my pre-op exam or colposcopy and we were perfectly fine with that. However, he insisted that he come along for the initial 'question & answer' meeting with my doctor at which we decided to go ahead and have the operation. Wouldn't you want to attend such an important meeting if your spouse was comtemplating such a major surgery? I was glad to have him there. I am sure he had questions of his own and it really does affect him too. I know his presence helped me to make the decision more rapidly. Also, the DHs really need to hear the details from the doctor so that there is no guessing what to expect when the time comes. After all, they are going to be our support after the surgery.

My husband drove me to the hospital for surgery and stayed with me until I changed into my surgery gown. He wanted to stay during the surgery, but my doctor told him that it was pointless and to go home. She told him when to come back and he was in my room as soon as they wheeled me in there after surgery, which was about 2 hours after she told him to go home.

I hope this helps and good luck!

Lora
TVH, kept ovaries - 8/7/01

I have asked my DH to go to my preop appointment with me. I want him to ask the doctor whatever he feels he needs to and I want him to maintain involvement throughout this procedure. I think, from reading the posts, that too often the DH feels detached from the process and, as a result, is somewhat less than helpful. I am lucky that my DH has some EMT training so the medical side of all of this does not spook him...but I also want him to fully understand what I will and will not be able to do and why, so he doesn't run the risk of impatience when I seem to be so much better.

My DH didn't go with me to my pre op appt, which consisted of signing paperwork and a trip to the lab. He is a truck driver, and had already scheduled 21 days of vacation beginning the day of surgery to take care of the kids and me and I didn't want him missing any more work. Ok, I'm lying, I didn't want the paychecks any smaller!
The one thing we did do, and I am so thankful, was have him spend the night with me that first night of surgery at the hospital. What the other ladies said above, about 2 heads being better than 1...how true! He was my advocate that night, when I was so far gone from the meds, I might have well been in my own zip code. I became very *ill* from the meds or something that first night, and between being vomited on by me, he was able to hurry the nurses up for my anti-puking meds. Plus, he remembered a lot that I didn't. Another thing he told me was that he would have had no idea just how *much* I was going through physcially had he not seen it that first night. He was able to speak to the doc about the rough night I had, go get me juice, ice chips, whatever. The wonderful nurses I had had housekeeping send down a fold out bed for him, so between being vomited on, he was able to get some sleep while being there for me and with me. And like I mentioned, it gave him a realistic view of what was going on with me, and let me tell you, I did hardly anything those first 3 weeks at home, and I believe it helped my healing so much.
So, you know your guy, and if he's game, I say go for it! It's so great to have an ally in this, and someone who will make sure you get what you need, when you need it. Plus, it may shed some light more on what will be expected of him during your early recovery. At the end of it, you may just decide that you would marry him again in a heartbeat, I know I did!

Sisters always,
Love,
Ami

I am overwhelmed by the response. Seems to me that it wouldn't be a bad thing if he didn't go after all. I really don't want him coming along just to sit in the waiting room. I think I'll have a separate appointment with my Dr. before surgery and I'll ask him to come to that one. There is so much to prepare for before the big day and all of you have been so helpful!!

You are wonderful!!

but realize we are newlyweds. my dh is very interested in knowing as much about me and what i go through. it's a learning experience we both share. plus he asks questions i never thought of. i'm much more casual. 'take it out' is about all i said. he asked a hundred other questions. he even slept in the room with me for the 2 nights i was in. (realize we have no children at home). he'd go out for a bit during the day since i was sleeping so much.
now he helps put on neosporin and cleaned out any little hanger-on adhesive from the bandages. he likes that i discovered the hyster sister site and even suggests questions to post. he wonders if there's a 'hyster husband' site.

Hello -

My surgery is set for August 20, just a week away. My pre-op appt. is this Thursday. I have asked my husband to go with me so he can fully understand what we are in for and so he can hear the things that I seem to be blocking out. I know that it is my surgery, but I want it to be a partnership. He is very helpful when I need it and I want him to be able to ask the questions that I might forget.

I know you have heard both responses to your question, and I hope this helps, but I also think it is up to you. Good luck to you in your decision making. I seem to be having trouble making decisions lately - even about what to have for dinner.

Elise