How are others dealing with the emotional complications of their hysterectomy?

Hi, I had surgery 13 days ago and am wanting to find out if others are having a similar emotional roller coaster as I am...
I have a fairly significant trauma history which i have worked hard to get on top of. This surgery and the particular pain that comes with it has been a massive trigger for me. I'm told how important rest is in my recovery but find resting is making me withdraw into myself. My family have been fairly indifferent about my hysterectomy as I'm in a same set relationship and (due to my trauma) made the decision that my partner would have our children (we have a 4yo and one on the way) so aren't offering much support. How are others dealing with the emotional complications of their hysterectomy?

I'm on day 9 and I've been having anxiety since day 5. It was really bad. I have a hard time relaxing before bed time. I went to my doctor and she gave me xanax.i only take it before bed time and it helps only a little. I also take Thiamine. It's a natural mood relaxer. Some girls on this site have told me that alot of people have crying fits or anxiety. I'm guessing what we are going thru is normal. But if it's way too much than ask your doctor to put you on something.

Hi, I am on week 4 of my full hysterectomy with only my right ovary left. This site has been so awesome from great advice to a lot of insight. I too felt very overwhelmed and still have some emotional moments from feeling lonely to sad. I started feeling like this about 4-5 days after surgery. Not to mention my hot flashes mostly at night but it's getting better. I talked to my Dr. About how I was feeling he said it's normal as long as I don't feel useless or with intentions to hurt myself which I don't , I am trying to get out more and be around others my husband and I are going to counseling which helps us understand each other more. This is a new chapter in our lives, I felt guilty as we only have 1 child who is 16 years old I felt like I was denying my husband the chance of us having more children. My husband's only concern was my well being and my health but nonetheless I felt emotional closing that chapter of my life. My goal for the future is to feel physically well and to start enjoying life without the constant pains.
I hope I was able to ease some of your concerns. We are all going through the same thing and I am really grateful that this site is available to us anytime. I wish you all my hystasisters luck.

This can be a tender time emotionally for sure. When one has a history of trauma, this is definitely the kind of surgery that can trigger those feelings. You mentioned you've worked hard to get on top of past trauma. I'm not sure if you've done that on your own or with the help of a counsellor. While there's lots we can do on our own, a counsellor who works with survivors of trauma may be able to give you further tips on how to cope with your feelings. If you have been working with someone but are not yet up to a face to face appointment, perhaps they would be willing to do a phone session with you?

Also, of course you do want to listen to your body's needs and rest a bit more than usual, but this normally doesn't mean taking to bed most of the day for a few weeks. You can facilitate your physical healing (and I'm sure your mental well being) if you try to tackle a gentle walk each day. Start short, be mindful of what feels like your limit and don't push past it. But each day, you should be able to manage a bit more and this could do you a world of good. If your pain is such that you can't manage short walks then talk to your Dr about what can be done about that. You should be able to move around comfortably at this point.

I know this can be a tough time and it's hard when it feels like the support is not there from our close loved ones. Be kind and patient with yourself. Try to express your needs. Sometimes we hope that those close to us just know what we need and they don't always.

At least we are here for you! Don't hesitate to keep us posted.

Wishing you much healing...

I to feel I am on an emotional roller coaster. I didn't think I would, and I don't think doctors and family and friends understand. I have often heard, "it's good your past having children"
I am 55 and have one child. My baby days are long over and I am fine with that. but there really is a feeling of loss. sometimes I mourn the loss of my womb, that special place where my baby lived inside me,even though it was years ago. sometimes I mourn my youth, knowing that what made me able to carry and birth a child is part of the past and so final. sometimes I feel free and energized thinking of all that my age, wisdom and family mean to my future! it is a bit of a roller coaster. my advice is to give yourself time,just listen to your heart, understand that your feelings are normal and justified and eventually you will accept your new situation and the possibilities of your future.

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Originally Posted by karisweetlife I'm on day 9 and I've been having anxiety since day 5. It was really bad. I have a hard time relaxing before bed time. I went to my doctor and she gave me xanax.i only take it before bed time and it helps only a little. I also take Thiamine. It's a natural mood relaxer. Some girls on this site have told me that alot of people have crying fits or anxiety. I'm guessing what we are going thru is normal. But if it's way too much than ask your doctor to put you on something.

My dr has given me some diazepam which i use sparingly, but it takes the edge off. I totally underestimated the emotional stress. I hope day by day ur anxiety eases. Did u experience anxiety pre op?

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Originally Posted by Motty1995 Hi, I am on week 4 of my full hysterectomy with only my right ovary left. This site has been so awesome from great advice to a lot of insight. I too felt very overwhelmed and still have some emotional moments from feeling lonely to sad. I started feeling like this about 4-5 days after surgery. Not to mention my hot flashes mostly at night but it's getting better. I talked to my Dr. About how I was feeling he said it's normal as long as I don't feel useless or with intentions to hurt myself which I don't , I am trying to get out more and be around others my husband and I are going to counseling which helps us understand each other more. This is a new chapter in our lives, I felt guilty as we only have 1 child who is 16 years old I felt like I was denying my husband the chance of us having more children. My husband's only concern was my well being and my health but nonetheless I felt emotional closing that chapter of my life. My goal for the future is to feel physically well and to start enjoying life without the constant pains. I hope I was able to ease some of your concerns. We are all going through the same thing and I am really grateful that this site is available to us anytime. I wish you all my hystasisters luck.

I'm so glad I stumbled across this site. It's been brilliant. Thank u for replying, it does help knowing this kinda normal. Sounds like your feelings of guilt are pretty understandable, but as ur husband is telling u, also unnecessary.

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Originally Posted by Neekers This can be a tender time emotionally for sure. When one has a history of trauma, this is definitely the kind of surgery that can trigger those feelings. You mentioned you've worked hard to get on top of past trauma. I'm not sure if you've done that on your own or with the help of a counsellor. While there's lots we can do on our own, a counsellor who works with survivors of trauma may be able to give you further tips on how to cope with your feelings. If you have been working with someone but are not yet up to a face to face appointment, perhaps they would be willing to do a phone session with you? Also, of course you do want to listen to your body's needs and rest a bit more than usual, but this normally doesn't mean taking to bed most of the day for a few weeks. You can facilitate your physical healing (and I'm sure your mental well being) if you try to tackle a gentle walk each day. Start short, be mindful of what feels like your limit and don't push past it. But each day, you should be able to manage a bit more and this could do you a world of good. If your pain is such that you can't manage short walks then talk to your Dr about what can be done about that. You should be able to move around comfortably at this point. I know this can be a tough time and it's hard when it feels like the support is not there from our close loved ones. Be kind and patient with yourself. Try to express your needs. Sometimes we hope that those close to us just know what we need and they don't always. At least we are here for you! Don't hesitate to keep us posted. Wishing you much healing...

Thank you so much for your response. It really does help knowing that you all understand. My family aren't malicious, they just don't get it. I've gotten in touch with a counsellor and am catching up next week. I often feel like I can figure it out myself, but given i'm a social worker I should know everyone needs a hand sometimes!

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Originally Posted by Caroline Louise I to feel I am on an emotional roller coaster. I didn't think I would, and I don't think doctors and family and friends understand. I have often heard, "it's good your past having children" I am 55 and have one child. My baby days are long over and I am fine with that. but there really is a feeling of loss. sometimes I mourn the loss of my womb, that special place where my baby lived inside me,even though it was years ago. sometimes I mourn my youth, knowing that what made me able to carry and birth a child is part of the past and so final. sometimes I feel free and energized thinking of all that my age, wisdom and family mean to my future! it is a bit of a roller coaster. my advice is to give yourself time,just listen to your heart, understand that your feelings are normal and justified and eventually you will accept your new situation and the possibilities of your future.

I was surprised at how much this has made me take stock of my life as well. Thank you for sharing your experiences. It's really helped

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Originally Posted by christy777 My dr has given me some diazepam which i use sparingly, but it takes the edge off. I totally underestimated the emotional stress. I hope day by day ur anxiety eases. Did u experience anxiety pre op?

No, I don't think so. I think it's my cortisol levels spiked honestly I just can't sleep. I get most of my anxiety in the AM and around 4pm I'm pretty good . Ask your doctor if what you are taking is enough. Maybe you need just a little more. I started with .25 because I was so afraid and I'm on .5 now. We will see how that works. And once you feel better you can cut back to a lower dose. That's what a friend told me I'm no doctor. Just sharing what I've experienced.