Upcoming hysterectomy 8/24: Facing this alone

It breaks my heart that I have to get online and turn to strangers for support. My surgery is 1 week away and I realize now that when I am discharged from the hospital that I will come home alone and will face this all alone. My family owns a business and won't be able to be there to help me. My best friend is leaving the day after my surgery to go to the beach for the weekend. My son is 15 yrs old and will be in school during the day and working at night. I am divorced and a single mom. I am normally happy with my life and my friends and family but facing this and knowing that when it comes right down to it, I am all alone is very heart breaking. Sorry, I guess I just needed to voice what I am feeling to someone, even of it is people that I've never met

I don't have any family so I had to rely on a couple of friends and neighbours because I live alone. I tried to plan ahead as much as possible, which helped.

I was asked at least twice when filling out forms for various medical staff whether I would have help at home. If my answer had been "no", arrangements for some kind of home care visits would have been made. Is this an option for you? (And I'm pretty sure you absolutely must have someone available to drive you home.)

Wishing you all the best!

You are among friends here and we have all been on this journey so you are not alone. It can be daunting to think that you'll be on your own during recovery so start to do some planning now. Clean your house, change your sheets, make some freezer meals and stock up on things like tea, soups, juices, OTC pain and gas relievers. I would also suggest that if you belong to a parish, contact them to see if there are some parishioners who would volunteer to visit you in the first few days of recovery. They can fold laundry, load the dishwasher and keep you company even if for just an hour a day. I was lucky in that my parents were with me during my first few days of recovery and I was freaked out to think that I would be completely laid up for 6 weeks but that was not the case. I was able to shower myself, get in and out of bed, even sit up and do some adult coloring. It isn't as bad as what I am sure you are anticipating. Your son is also old enough to be of help to you by doing chores after school and helping you as needed. There are resources out there to help but if you don't have access to them, remember you are a strong woman and you can do this on your own. And we'll be here supporting you from afar.

Here are a few articles to help you prepare.

Preparing Your Home for Hysterectomy Recovery

Make Ahead Frozen Meals for Hysterectomy Recover

I am so sorry. You are never alone here. I have been here since April. I have been in difficult situation. Having my uterus and fibroid out was very scary when I had never had surgery before. Now due to an early cancer found I will be having cervix and ovaries out next week. These ladies are awesome. Some days I just feel down, have questions, or just need someone to talk to they are here, and they will be here for you.

That being said I would freeze meals, clean house now, and talk to your 15 year old about helping out. My kids were great till I felt better. Do you belong to a church?They are great for bringing meals. Do you have friends that can check on you? Go to the store for you? You won't be able to drive for awhile.

Hang in there. We are here for support and questions.

Hello there sweetie

Please take a deep breath and remember that you are never alone. You are able to reach out and find us here. That is a wonderful thing about this site that you will come to realize. Much like the great links sarrie provided, I am included this as well: 10 Tip for Recovering at Home . Plan ahead. Utilize the information you read. Talk with your doctors.

WE... ARE... HERE!

sending tons of

I did really well on my own. I live with two cats in a four-unit apartment building. My upstairs neighbour looked after the cats while I was in the hospital (three days). We also had a deal that if I needed help, I'd call her and that if I couldn't get to the phone, I'd pound on the wall. That was Plan B. I never needed to activate it. :-)

Before surgery I scrubbed the place up, did lots of laundry and stocked up on groceries, toiletries and household goods, with an emphasis on foods that needed little or no preparation. After surgery I prepared simple foods for myself and the cats, washed a few dishes standing at the sink and kept the litter box scooped. That was it for housework, I spent my time going for short walks and sitting out in the sun reading and sewing. It was great!

Tell the 15-year-old he's on his own for meals and laundry. He needs the practice for when he's an adult.

Friends checked in, often bringing goodies to eat. And when I attempted to carry my own bag of trash to the curb six days after surgery, another tenant grabbed it out of my hands and carried it for me. He said his wife would kill him if he didn't.

The one thing you absolutely need is a ride home from the hospital, esp. if your hospital won't let you take a cab home. (The hospitals up here won't, plus my hysterectomy was in another city two hours away.) I asked for and got a ride home from a friend who lives in my surgery city, but I also had offers from other friends and co-workers.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by GodGrace It breaks my heart that I have to get online and turn to strangers for support. My surgery is 1 week away and I realize now that when I am discharged from the hospital that I will come home alone and will face this all alone. My family owns a business and won't be able to be there to help me. My best friend is leaving the day after my surgery to go to the beach for the weekend. My son is 15 yrs old and will be in school during the day and working at night. I am divorced and a single mom. I am normally happy with my life and my friends and family but facing this and knowing that when it comes right down to it, I am all alone is very heart breaking. Sorry, I guess I just needed to voice what I am feeling to someone, even of it is people that I've never met

You are not alone - you are among Sisters! Maybe the first week you are home, your son could take time off from work? That way you wouldn't be alone so much. You will likely just want to sleep away the first few days at home. Plan on very simple foods. I stocked up on yogurt - important if you are on an antibiotic, applesauce, canned soup, cranberry juice, and a few frozen dinners. It's important to eat healthy and get your rest. Your poor tummy needs food in there to dilute all the pills..... There shouldn't be a lot of laundry if you are reasonably caught up before.

Do you have a ride home from the hospital? If you were in MN, I would help you! Good luck, come back often -

Thank you all so much for your replies. I am feeling better today, I guess I was just having a moment to feel sorry for myself yesterday. (I'm blaming it on hormones lol) I am scrubbing the house and stocking up on food and other necessities and I do have church family that I know I can call. Sorry for the pity party. You women are great. It is wonderful to have yall to reach out to! One week from today!

Before my surgery I was really focused on preparations. I scrubbed, I laundered, I shopped, I lubed the windows so they'd open more easily. And every now and then, I went into the bedroom, curled up under the covers and had a good cry. It's all normal. :-)

Some really good advice here! but I'll chime in anyway just to let you know you're not alone in facing this alone. I am too, but I think if we plan well & follow the advice from those who've gone before us it's all doable..

I don't even know how I'll be getting home from the hospital yet but I'm going to figure something out. I'm a widow alone with a house to maintain, 2 cats. 40 fish, no kids & 0 friends nearby but I'm pretty sure my neighbors or one of my classmates at school would be willing to help me out in a pinch if asked.
I really hate having to impose on others, particularly people I barely know but "no man is an island" nor woman for that matter.
I'm checking into other arrangements also:
With my insurance company to see about a home care nurse to check in on me for a few days.. or perhaps paying someone in the neighborhood to feed my cats since I'm not allowed to bend for awhile.(?) Maybe some of these options might set your mind at ease..

I'm worried about being alone too, but not gonna cancel my surgery because of it. I really need to have this done. I don't like the idea of having surgery but when I think of how much better I could feel it all seems worth the pain & effort.

Trust me, I've been fending for myself for the past 7 years & things have a way of working themselves out. Never fear.. You/we've got this!

((hugs))