TVH: Worried about surgery/recovery

I am 33 yrs old and am scheduled for a TVH May 20th. I'm worried about the surgery and recovery period. I have also been scheduled for repair of a cystocele and rectocele. I am VERY concerned about pain and how well it will be controlled after surgery. I am also worried about how I will be able to handle my 4 kids. I already have stress and don't know how I can get better if I get so stressed out already. I have wondered if my temper is so bad because my hormone levels are off. I am going to talk to my doctor about that but I am so scared about the after effects. I have no sex drive already and I have read how that depletes as well. I also worry that my husband will feel it is too hard to take care of me and my family and will leave. I know it is probably an unreasonable thought but I can't stop thinking about it. How do I get these thoughts out of my head? I hope it's not as bad as I think it will be. I am also hoping to get some support from women who have been in my shoes. Thank you for your help. Kim

Hi Kim

I didn't have a vaginal hysterectomy but maybe I can answer a few of your questions.

I was also extremely worried about pain since I don't *do* pain at all. I am a big wimp. They gave me a morphine pump as soon as I got to my room. I have no idea if they gave me pain meds in the recovery room as I don't remember it at all. I pushed on the button all night and I didn't have any pain except for some pulling from the incision. The next day, I stopped pushing on the button to have an idea of the pain I would be in and I was very surprised to find out that I had no pain except for once again, pulling from the incision. I was one of the lucky ones that didn't need pain meds starting on the second day and you might be too. Otherwise, the doctors and nurses make sure that your pain is controlled as you heal better if you are not in pain. If you know that a certain med doesn't work on you, please tell them so they aren't wasting your time and theirs. When it came to go home, I told my doctor which over the counter meds worked and which didn't so he would have an idea of what to prescribe for me. He insisted I got something just in case.

As to your kids, your hubby is going to have to take care of them while you recover. You are going to have to put yourself as number one for a few weeks. If you don't, you risk having complications that will lengthen your recovery.

I can't answer your question on hormones being off. It is a possibility and the best thing is to talk to your doctor about it.

My sex drive has gone way up since the surgery. I am not sure why as I wasn't in any pain before from the fibroids, but I am not complaining and neither is my hubby.

Talk to your hubby frankly and openly about your feelings. I am sure that he will reassure you and settle your mind. You might want to talk to your doctor about this also as it might be related to your hormones.

I hope I have helped a little bit.

You need to enlist the help of your family and friends. I made a list of the things I wanted my daughters to be in charge of and gave it to them so they would know exactly how I needed their help. Depending on the age of your kids, they can be given assignments also. Contact your church and see if they can help with child care or transportation or meals. Almost anyone will be willing to help IF YOU ASK THEM. So when someone asks how they can help out, have a list of things that you will need ready. You are definately going to need outside help for a week at least. Ship the kids off to grammas, pay a teenager to come and clean bathrooms or do simple chores for you. Buy frozen meals for hubby to prepare. Dad and the kids will survive...everyone will be happier if mom is healthy and rested and well.