Invitation to a Punctured Princess Pity Party

Hello, wonderful Princesses and Ladies in Waiting . I am sitting here pondering all that has happened in the week since my operation, feeling pretty low , when I decided that if anyone could understand what I was feeling, it would be you marvelous ladies.

Before I tell my story, I was to stress that what happened to me was extremely rare - in fact, my doctor and all the nurses told me that they had never experienced these complications in any hysterectomy patient they have ever taken care of. So, Ladies In Waiting, I don't want to add to your worry - promise me, ok?

Ok, so here's the scoop. I went to the Castle bright and early (6:00 a.m.) on October 4. Was shown to my room, changed, etc. - everything was going as planned as I was wheeled to surgery shortly after 8. Don't remember much after that (what ARE those drugs, anyway?) until a few hours later when my doctor was urgently trying to get me to wake up. She explained that something was wrong, I was hemorrhaging badly, and they needed to perform a second operation so I wouldn't bleed out. I wasn't really awake enough to understand it all and was quickly, blissfully put under once again. Awoke again several hours later in Recovery and was told they believed they got the bleeding under control, but wouldn't be sure for a bit. I had been given a blood transfusion (2 litres), but they weren't sure it was enough because they couldn't get my blood pressure above 70/50 and my blood counts were less than half of what they were supposed to be. I was also in mild shock (didn't know there were different levels). And the oxygen levels in my blood were too low - 80%.

I was then sent to ICU while they tried to determine if I would need further surgery and/or blood transfusions - what a scary place that is! On top of all this, there was quite a bit of miscommunication between the hospital staff and my darling fiance - they actually sent him home without having seen me. Finally, I got a sympathetic nurse who called him and told him to come right back. He was able to stay with me until about midnight, which was a real blessing, along with the morphine pump they finally got me hooked up to.

By the next afternoon, I was stable enough to be moved out of ICU. But instead of sending me to a surgical floor, I was moved to the maternity ward. Having had a very difficult emotional reaction to this surgery, it was so very hard to be around the babies and happy families as that part of my life was coming to an end.

The next few days were a myriad of discomforts - excrutiating gas pains, headaches, nausea and vomiting, mouth pain (both surgeries required intubation and in effect, a whole strip of taste buds was scraped off), water retention that made me look like I was just a round blob (due to all the plasma they were pumping into me). But perhaps the most upsetting was the bruising. On the third day the nurse was checking my belly, her eyes went wide, and all she said was, "I think I'll call the doctor." I finally asked my fiance for a mirror and about passed out at what I saw. The entire area from just below my rib cage all the way down through my pelvic area was COMPLETELY BLACK! Not purple, not green and yellow, not like anything I've ever seen in my life. The doctor said that all the bleeding in my belly had caused some of the blood to seep into my tissue and that the area had gone through two surgeries in a matter of hours.

Finally got to come home after 5 days and since then it's been a roller coaster. Monday I was ready to go back to the hospital, but Tuesday I felt really good. Today, not so good - I'm nauseous and vomiting, in pain, suffering dibilitating hot flashes and have less than no energy. And weepy. And angry. So I figured as long as I was feeling sorry for myself, I'd try to share some of these feelings with the only other women I knew would understand. Trust me, I know I am behaving like a Drama Queen rather than a dignified Punctured Princess, but I am really struggling with all this. I'm sure this is not by any means as bad as some of the things that others have gone through, but it's one of the worst and scariest things I have ever encountered. I was in no way prepared for this, even with all the research I did before hand.

I look forward to hearing from you - everyone here is so very compassionate and nonjudgmental. And I think that's why I wanted to post this, because I knew you would not tell me to just "suck it up" and that its ok to be upset and grieve. I don't know if people who haven't been through this kind of experience can ever truly understand all the implications of it.

Thank you for letting me vent and taking time out of your busy lives, and your own worries, to read my story.

I am so sorry that you are having so many complications. You are allowed to be in a pity party if you want. I know I would be. I just said a little prayer for you I hope it works. Get in bed and rest right now! Check in with us soon! Are you in bed yet?

Hi Newby,

Wow you've been through so much of course you can have a pity party. Feel free to come and let your feelings out as bottling them up is no good for you anyway. Like you said we won't judge you and never think what your going through is unimportant. This surgery can and does give everyone different reactions as to how they feel and recover.

Now if this nausea etc continues I think you should give your doctor a call if nothing else but for some reassurance.

I hope this starts to look up for you soon as you've been through so much trauma, if fact more than one person should have to deal with.

Take care.........Karen

,

Boy you sure have had a hard time haven't you, I'm sorry and I wanted you to know that I am praying for you. As to the pity party of course you need that outlet and where else to vent than here. Oh yah like irish88 said get back to bed and let yourself be a pampered , you deserve it .

Dear newby,
I am sooo sorry that you have had such a horrible experiance. My heart goes out to you my fellow princess. Can I just say that I think it is so insensitive of hospitals to put us on maternity floors. As if we need yet another reason to cry after surgery. You my dear are aloud a pitty party, now with that said get back in bed and be the princess you deserve to be.
lots of hugs and prayers, love sacha

Hi Newby,
My goodness what a warrior princess you are. So much strength and courage. I am sure all of your medical problems have been very scarey. I would also be on an emotional rollar coaster. Historically women have had to just "suck it up" and go on when they were ill. I try to remind myself that I have to take care of myself, I have to make sure I get the rest I need. I deserve to heal properly and if the people around me don't understand oh well..

This is the place to come for pity parties, these are the people that understand. It is through sharing that we make each other stronger. Keep up the good fight warrior princess. I will be thinking of you.
Laurie

Newby

You are SO brave! I'm sorry all of this has happened and I'm glad that you are so positive about it.

We're here for you.

Newby -

I am so sorry for all you have gone through! I just can't imagine what all this trauma has done to you both physically and emotionally.

A 'fair routine' hyst can be very draining. I know mine went fairly easy with the only real issue being just over a pint in blood loss. That being said, I was so whipped for several days. I had bruising a lot like yours (Dr said well you did seep everywhere we 'did anything') and just about passed out when I saw it(I was alone in the bathroom).

I hope this is all 'over for you'. Meaning you are now steadily on the road to recovery. You are just going to have to take it one day at a time and look back in terms of weeks as to progress. The emotions do calm down, I was quite a mess at about 2 weeks but 3 was better. You might find for yourself you are a week behind on everything. Don't get stressed about that, just know you are imporving week by week and that 10 years from now, whether you were 'yourself' in 11 weeks or 12 weeks or 16 weeks really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

Best wishes on your recovery.

Julie

Newby you are entitled to a BIG party imho. You poor sister!!!! You especially need to heed the advice to rest rest rest and let someone pamper you. Stay in your jammies for a month at least! lol Sorry but I don't think you'll be getting the oscar for being a drama queen. You deserve and should be acting like this and I think you're being amazing about it, being more of a dignified Princess than many could muster under the circumstances!

Do they know what happened to you? That is just terrifying to go in for what is supposed to be routine surgery and have that happen. And to send the fiance away.....surprised they didn't need a security officer to get him out of the hospital!

Will keep sending good wishes and healing prayers your way. Hang in there honey.
K

Hi
You sure had a horrowing experience. I thought mine was bad but you beat me. My incision busted open a week after I went home when they took them out. After I returned home from a nap I got up and was bleeding profusly. I immediately went to the emergency room and they packed it and told me to go see My Dr in the morning. So now I had this packing I am suppose to change I can not een see. My Dr. called me bright and early the next morning and said come right in. He said that after 4 days he could put some kinda of stick junk and heavy duty steris on it to show it the way to go. Well all that was on Sept 12th and it is completely closed now. It does look a little black. Was blacker but it is lightening up. All I can say is Rest Rest Rest . Do nothing. Walk around the house and then rest more. I am finally feeling like a person again instead of a patient.
You take care and rest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!