New here and terrified

I am scheduled for surgery March 19, and I'm terrified. I've never had surgery of any kind and terrified doesn't actually come close to describing the way I feel. I have cervical cancer, but no symptoms, so I really don't have a choice but to have this done.
I don't even know what to discuss with my doctors and my kids think that having this surgery is no big deal. When I try to talk about my fears, I'm told to stop complaining and whining because "it's not that big of a deal."
I've asked my primary care doc for sedatives or anything to help me, but was told that we would discuss that after my surgery. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm mad, scared, severely depressed, I cry all the time, and oddly, I am spending money like it's going out of style.
I'm desperately trying to pull myself together, but it's not working, and the closer my date gets, the worse I get.
Can anyone suggest anything that will help me? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated

Pattygr, a big hug for you.
I know this is very difficult. Try to concentrate on getting better. Find comfort in knowing that the cancer was actually found and is going to be removed. This is a big deal and your sisters here understand what you are going through. Talk about your fears, anxieties, crazy emotions etc. right here. We all understand and I am sure that among us, there is someone who is, or have experienced exactly what you are going through.

Be blessed!

I remember my first time having surgery- I too was as "Tweaked" as you are now- but as a "Well seasoned surgical Vet"" like many of the sisters here- I have but a small piece advice to offer: Take a deep breath- relax- allow yourself to enter into a peaceful inner state- begin the process of thinking positive- revel in the fact that your illness will be easily resolved and remember in heart that having this done will prevent any and all future episodes of cancer. Believe it or not- I know that a friend of mine who is an ongoing survivor of breast cancer would send along that very same form of encouragement. It's all good Hun :-)

On a short note too: Anyone offline who has been a little less than supportive when it comes down to helping you calm down- may need a little more education in regards to how having one's reproductive organs can / will effect a person not just physically but emotionally- both before and after. Just my thoughts here too.

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Originally Posted by pattygr I am scheduled for surgery March 19, and I'm terrified. I've never had surgery of any kind and terrified doesn't actually come close to describing the way I feel. I have cervical cancer, but no symptoms, so I really don't have a choice but to have this done. I don't even know what to discuss with my doctors and my kids think that having this surgery is no big deal. When I try to talk about my fears, I'm told to stop complaining and whining because "it's not that big of a deal." I've asked my primary care doc for sedatives or anything to help me, but was told that we would discuss that after my surgery. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm mad, scared, severely depressed, I cry all the time, and oddly, I am spending money like it's going out of style. I'm desperately trying to pull myself together, but it's not working, and the closer my date gets, the worse I get. Can anyone suggest anything that will help me? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated

I too was terrified before surgery and I sailed through. The doctors know what they are doing. Try and relax.It will be over before you know it!

Big hugs!! I get extreme anxiety before surgery and my doctors have always given me something in my IV to calm me down. I'm sorry yours isn't being supportive

Your PCP was not helpful, so I'd ask the GYN or GYN onc doing your surgery for anti anxiety meds. I took Ativan for the week I had to wait and it really helped, and I'd be surprised if the surgeon refused them. I was terrified by the cancer and the surgery. It did go easier than I'd imagined and afterwards I thought I'd worried for that? Taking deep breaths and staying busy does help. I didn't know to prepare, but there are ideas on this site about how and what to prepare, do look at those if you haven't already. I think hearing cancer makes the stress worse, it did for me. You will get through this. We are here for you to help you through. Sending hugs and positive thoughts to help you.

I'm taking anxiety meds, too. They've helped LOTS. You're NOT the first person who has asked for "help" pre-surgery.

First off, know that we are all here for you. I was diagnosed in January with cervical cancer and had my radical hysterectomy on 1/31/13. I also never had surgery before. It's good that your cancer was caught. I would also talk to your gyno/oncologist about anxiety meds. You are already going through so much in your mind, and now this on top of it can be terrifying. Just remember we care.

It is not "no big deal." I would make sure to make that point clear with anyone who says otherwise. Also take into consideration that others sometimes downplay cancer and surgery concerns in a misguided (often well-meaning) attempt to make you feel better. As you've already seen, we understand here. When my doc said cancer, I was shocked. It turned out there was no cancer, but I did not know that going in. Definitely ask your gyn for something for anxiety. Try to stay busy, breathe deep, take baths, and keep asking questions. Read the articles. You'll see that the women here are amazing and incredibly strong. So are you.