My Mother Actually Thinks I'll be "All Better" in a Week!!!

To My Divine Sisters ~ I spoke with my mother today and when I told her I'd been cleaning and organizing the house before my surgery she told me that I shouldn't worry about the house. And here's the kicker: NOT because cleaning the house isn't important, but because she thinks I'll be able to do it later... say, in a week or two.

She told me about her friend, "D" who had a LAVH. She said that "D" felt so great after a week that she was working out at the gym.

I replied, "Mother, my doctor recommended a MINIMUM of 6 weeks. Even if I wanted to exercise after a week, I wouldn't be allowed to." I mean, isn't that DANGEROUS???

How can I dispel this myth and get her to understand???

I know someone else out in hysterland has had to deal with people who actually think this way....
s and a healthy, safe recovery to all the Princesses ~ Clementine

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How can I dispel this myth and get her to understand???

Sometimes you can't...there are some people who will not "get it" no matter what you say.

The initial recovery period is 6- 8 weeks - it can actually take many months to be completely healed. The healing process can't be rushed. Bodies heal differently and some take longer to heal than others. Follow all of your doctor's post-op instructions after surgery - regardless of what anyone else says.

s

Hi Clementine,

Isn't it frustrating when people say these things? I think your mom and my MIL think the same way. My MIL actually told me that I should be up and doing everything within one week. She knows for a fact that my recovery time will be whatever I set my mind to. So if I'm layed up more than a week I'm just milking it. Thank goodness my DH isn't like that. He's heard what the doc has said as far as recovery.

She's even said that my symptoms are all in my head. I felt like saying - would you like to see the last 35 soaked through pads? Sorry, that's a little gross but it feels good to get it out. She also asked this past weekend if the pain I was talking about is like regular period cramps. I couldn't believe it. I told her no, I can handle regular period cramps thank you. What a nut case.

I guess all we can do is laugh at people like this and then come and vent here on this site. Thank God we have a place to go to where everyone understands what we're all going through.

Ann Marie

Hi Clementine,
I wondered if perhaps you could print this off to show your Mom. It is an article here at HysterSisters called "Allowed, Not Allowed".
Maybe if she sees this in print from HysterSisters, she will believe it. Hope this helps you.

https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/hsa...p?s=&id=117135

I found another couple of threads that might be of help to have your Mom read.

https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/hsa...p?s=&id=117127 FAQS for Family and Friends

https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/hsa...p?s=&id=117137 What could happen if I did too much too soon?


s from Aurora

Oh, oh, oh . . . can I ever RELATE!! My sister and I own a business together, and she keeps telling me stories about Wonder Women she knows PERSONALLY who have had hysterectomies and were out driving and running errands and saving the world "by the end of the week".

I ran into one of these Wonder Women in the grocery store and asked her if it was true. Her eyes got HUGE and she said "No way! My doctor wouldn't let me drive for FOUR WEEKS!" When I told my sister that, my sister's reply was that maybe the woman doesn't remember, but my sister does!! Funny how Wonder Women have everything but a good memory, isn't it? :0

My stepson (38 years old!) lives with us, and he has invited a couple, friends of his, to come and stay with us 12 days after my surgery. I don't even know these people!! My DH has not told him no, so I guess THEY are having company! I intend to hide out in the bedroom. It ticks me off, though.

And then in July, my DH's daughter and her family of 4 will be coming to stay. THEY need a vacation. When the daughter called to invite herself and her family, my DH didn't even mention that I was having surgery. When I asked him to mention it, he said I was having a little surgery but should be OK by July. The daughter never even asked what was wrong or what kind of surgery.

Guess I'll be hiding in the bedroom in July, too.

Oh, well, I'll catch up on my reading, that's for sure.

Good luck all. My surgery is tomorrow!!

Connie

Sisters ~ Thank you for all of the replies! I knew I couldn't be the only one going through this!

LynnMary~ Of course you are right. Some people will believe what they will believe regardless of being told otherwise. The most important thing to do is listen to the doctor and allow a proper healing!

Ann Marie~ Sorry to hear about your MIL. My MIL had actually been very understand... it's my own mother I've had to convince! She'll be with me in the hospital the day of surgery, so maybe that will help! I'm glad to hear that you too have an understanding DH. Best wishes to you!

Aurora~ Fantastic links! Thanks so much. I'll print them to share with my family.

Connie~ Check out Aurora's links and hand them out in mass quantity to your family! That's terrible about your sister and you need to tell your SS to get a hotel room if he wants to entertain during your recovery! Maybe a chat with your DH would put things in perspective. Sounds like your SD doesn't have much better manners. I can't believe she wouldn't even inquire about the nature of your surgery! Best of luck to you and I hope you have a cozy sanctuary of a bedroom! Keep in touch. My surgery is Friday so we'll be in a similar recovery phase!

s ~ Clementine

With your family and friends that I have learned here.

Your car ins company has stipulations on when you can drive and if you do before they say, you may not be covered.

In some states it is ilegal to drive under the infulence of pain meds, check out your state laws to be sure.

This is major surgery and the 6-8 week time is just the general time frame when you can resume most activities, and it may be quite a while before you are up to your old activities. It depends on the type of surgery you and the repairs they do as well.

Let them know that everyone is different and you only get one chance to heal right.

And if that dosen't work take them to pelvicfloor.com and let them look at the pictures of your surgery so they can *appreciate* why you will need to rest and heal!

Good luck with your surgery, and recovery!

I highly doubt anyone should be working out at a gym after one week! Holy cow!!! But, it may be true for some. My mom told me recovery should be like my tubal, which was not much at all. I too am having a LAVH with BSO too. I just ran into the HR people downstairs (at work here) and they asked how I was doing with the surgery coming up. I told them I expect to be back to work in three weeks and not the 4-6 that was estimated by my doctor. My doctor told me that women that have had the LAVH's have a much quicker recovery. One of his patients had it done and took off 4 weeks from her job. She was recovered so quickly that she ended up taking the 4th week as a vacation in Europe. I suppose I'm one of those "Wonder Womans" that you speak of.

I'm really glad I am a good candidate for the LAVH instead of abdominal, I know for a fact that I couldn't just lay around for four weeks straight! Good luck to you and hopefully you can stay positive regarding your recovery. Its supposed to be a great type of surgery with less complications and quicker down time.

I had my LAVH four weeks ago. I wouldn't recommend cleaning house after a week, but chances are you'll feel like it....I did. The only advice my doctor gave me was to do what my body tells me I can do. If you have to question whether or not you should be doing something.....then don't do it. I may be the exception to the rule, but I truly felt great and was back to taking care of my 14 month old daughter by myself after a week...lifting and everything (she's 24 lbs.). I've had one checkup and my doc says I'm doing just fine. I should be released on June 15th. I've had a truly remarkable recovery! I hope yours goes as well as mine did!

pinkie~ Very interesting information about the car insurance! I've been driving illegally for a year and a half!

blahndy~ I'm having my surgery laprascopically too. Although he will remove the uterus through the vagina, my Dr. says that other methods of his technique make it more of a TLH than a LAVH. Either way, I will be happy for the easier recovery. Alas, I am not such a quick recoverer... when I had my first lap they told me I'd be fine in a few days and it took a few weeks... when I had my second I was out for a month... I DO usually feel energy and like doing things, but get tired and sore more easily. We'll see how this surgery goes. Good luck to you on your surgery!

jendew~ I'm so happy to hear about your marvelous recovery! Stories like yours are so soothing to hear right now, at two days pre-op! Did you have a BSO too?

Thanks again to all who wrote! Wishing everyone health & good cheer!
s ~ Clementine