7 days to go and getting emotional

Ladies, I need to vent a little and if anyone knows how I feel it is all of you.

I do not have any doubts that this TAH is in God's plan for me and since the decision was made I have been at peace to remain pregnancy free. (Adoption is an option after things settle down.)

All of a sudden I am weepy and I'm not sure what else. My mom died of breast cancer when I was 18 so I don't have her to lean on. I feel so alone right now. DH is being very supportive and is full of pep-talk but maybe what I need right now is just a good cry.

I want to get the house in order before I go to the castle but I have no motivation. Partly because I am in pain, partly because...

I am not even sure what else to say so I will shut up and let you talk.

(((Tweety)))

I know how you are feeling. It can be overwhelming. My LAVH is tomorrow and on Monday is when I started feeling the anxiety. Burst into tears here and there, anxious, chest pains...sigh.

I just try and keep in mind there will be no pain soon.

Tons of hugs.

I can totally empathize with you - my mom will have been gone a year (brain cancer) on June 23, and I can't even think straight on how to handle everything for surgery. She was the one who always took care of everything whenever I've had surgeries - she'd move in and I didn't have to worry about anything. Now I have to worry about EVERYTHING, plus miss her like crazy. It's always the big things in life that seem to reinforce the fact that they're gone. I'm glad your DH is supportive - mine is too! But, you can have all the support in the world and it isn't your mom. I don't know if this helped any, but I did want you to know that you're not alone with your feelings. I, too, am sitting looking at my messy house, overwhelmed, hurting, and looking for motivation! I'll be thinking about and praying for you!

Your post reminded me of how much I am not alone in my feelings. When I decided to have my TAH BSO, I did not realize how emotional I would get a few days before my surgery. I have not had any kids and at this point in my life (at age 44), I do not want kids but I cried over the fact that I would never have kids. After admitting my crying spell to my DH, he said he knew and that it is because I don't like people telling me what to do (I have to admit there's some truth to that) and that it was probably the fact my choice was taken away. Then on Mother's Day (two days after my surgery) I found myself crying in my hospital bed wanting my mom. (She passed away 22 years ago.) Bless you and all the other women on this site for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It truly helps knowing we are not alone.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

I can completely relate to the feelings that you are having as I, too, was very emotionaly and started to doubt my decision days before. I am lucky to have had a son (he is now 13) but wanted another child with my new husband of 4 yrs. My DH lost his dad at the age of 18 and being the only son in his family, I have felt the pressure the past 2 yrs of our 4 yr marriage to have a child of his own. It has been a very emotional rollercoaster and the decision we made was one that we did together. He loves my son as his own child and we may adopt once we make it through this chapter. The feelings that you are experiencing are normal because this is a major procedure and I hope that it brings you all comfort to know that we are here for you.

I will keep you all in my prayers and look forward to hearing from you while you recover.

Hi Tweety-
Can definately relate. I'm pretty nervous, weepy, etc. now- and still have more than 2 weeks to go....not sure where I'll be closer to the date.

I do have an idea....hire a cleaning person!! You can direct/help out if you want- or ask a friend to come over and help scrub away some of this fear!! Hey- We are worth it AND how nice to come home to a clean house!!

Thanks for all the support. I am so looking forward to getting this all over and done with! You are all in my prayers as well.

I can so totally relate to the the feeling like you are alone. I still have my mom but she is not in good health and has a lot on her mind as it is (my grandmother has been diagnosed with cancer) and my oldest daughter who's 18 has decided she can do whatever she wants and it don't include me. There are people around me and I have friends (although no dh) but I feel so removed from them. It's like I am suddenly so distant from everyone and for the first time since I have been single (2.5 yrs) I feel lonely. I think part of it is the stories of how supportive some dh's have been


I think it is just normal though and we will both get through this along with all our "sisters".

I will say a prayer for you.

I'm so sad for you to feel all alone. I had my 4 best friends move in the last 1 1/2 yrs and I too, feel sometimes like my DH is the only one to talk to. He really doesn't get all this "girl stuff" at all God love him for trying.

I think the emotions are just part of it for some of us. I cried at least 4 times Monday (my first day home on summer vacation (teacher)). It was my first summer vacat. without my 21 yr. old cat "Puppy" and I just dwelled on it all day. I lost her in October...and I just kept thinking...It's been so long....what is the deal.....I'm losing my mind....how can I be this down.

Truth is, going through this entire process is emotionally difficult for some of us - even the strongest. Do what you can with the house - I promise it'll be O.K. no matter what gets done. AND cry, cry, cry when you need to - it's sometimes just sooooooooo good to get whatever stuff is in there all out.

Also, if you ever need to chat - we are all here. Holler if you need an ear.

God Bless
TANK