ridiculous I know

I know this is silly and they always say it and I know I am being ridiculous but just today it is hitting me that I no longer feel like a woman. I can't explain but maybe someone here understands. I am so worried about my body shriveling up to nothing now that I dont need it to produce children. I also worry my dh wont be able to fit now that all I have is a vagina. Crap.. I know this are silly but I just have to put them in words to see how stupid I sound. Thanks for letting me vent..
xo

Oh sweetie,

You are just 10 days post op. Your hormones are going crazy due to the shock of major surgery.

Let me tell you, you are one He** of a woman to endure major surgery. I think you will find your DH will "respect" you for what you have gone through and it will strengthen his love for you.

I know your thoughts of your DH not being able to fit now feed your DH's ego....but I believe no man's pride is that big! LOL Maybe a bit of laughter will ease your feelings.

I was 6 weeks post op on Wednesday and let me tell you and assure you, relations with DH are just as good, IF not better. Yes, I we both were a bit apprehensive, but I almost had a Big O. So it all still works and in a few more tries it will be better than pre-surgery. Remember, practice makes perfect. And I won't have cramps, bloating, sore boobies, accidents in the bed so we'll have more opportunities to practice.

Give it time. I think these feelings and other emotions are common up to 6-8 weeks from the anesthesia and the shock of major surgery too.

I'm starting to believe this surgery IS the new lease on life that most other ladies told me. You will too.... just be patient and keep positive and keep walking.

Wishing you the best.

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone...here is why:

We had our surgery on the same day...you are a few months older than me...I have been emotional today as well.

Hang in there, hon'. Voice your fears and cry as much as you need to. You are still as sexual and vibrant a woman as you were before...just now you are on your way to being a healthier, better you.

Thank you so much for your support. I hate it when I can't convience myself to be rational. I really hope this passes soon. I told dh how I felt and all he said was .. awww.. which did NOT help my frame of mind..
sigh

Texastj, the other sisters are right, there may be less of you now but that doesn't change who you ARE from who you WERE pre-surgery. Some men just don't know how to SAY what they need/want to. Your DH makes comments like my Dad!

You are still so recent from surgery, just hand in there, it does get better each day. We all experience the down feelings some days, so get DH to rent you some favorite movies to watch together and cuddle up. If he won't watch with you get something funny and watch to your hearts content.

Hugs to you!

cj

You are not alone. It comes in spurts for me, feeling like I'm not a woman, that is. My irrational fear is that when I do have sex, the penis will pop right through my cuff into my abdomen. I know it's probably ridiculous to think this but it's my fear. I already know that the big O equipment is working just fine. ) Hopefully these fears will pass with some time for both of us.

okay i am really out of it because I dont know what a cuff is and I dont understand what DH is and the big O. Can someone help me understand what these are. I am having a problem of wanting sex now, didn't care for it before...... I can't wait til they tell me I can just start with oral. I don't know if I can wait the 12 weeks.....

Hi!

First, a little "abbreviation help" -- DH stands for "darling husband". "Cuff" is the vaginal cuff that is formed when your uterus and cervix are removed. It's nothing more than the place where your cervix once was, and it's sewn tightly shut. In the vast majority of cases (including mine) everything heals up just fine, but it does take time. If things are healed properly (which they should be before you attempt sex) you will not have issues with your husband being able to break through the cuff.

Finally, "the big O" refers to orgasm.

As for being able to have sex after surgery: The average vagina is something like 3-1/2 inches long, and it expands when you're sexually aroused. If it was enough to accomodate your husband before your surgery, you will also be able to accomodate him afterwards, since he never went farther than your vagina anyway. Of this I can assure you!

Hope this helps. These are perfectly normal questions and you are far from the first to have these concerns! (I know I worried about the same stuff about two years ago.) We're here for you whenever you need us.

I figured out the big O and dh on my own but did not know what the cuff was so I looked it up on the interenet not wanting to sound stupider than I already do here I really don't know where these feelings come from as I really didnt want to have any more kiddo's at this point in my life but I have always loved being around babies. My neighbor has one that is almost 3 months old and I didnt want to hold him the other day which is soooooo not me. I hope that passes soon as I have always had a magic touch with the babies to sooth them. Sigh. Anyway.. I still really appriciate the chatter about this subject.. I guess it is something I will just have to go through and hopefully get over soon. As for the big O ..I am not anywhere near ready for that so I am not going to worry about that for a while. I was so deep in depression before the surgery I didn't want sex much anyways. I am really hopeing that after all the monthly pain is gone and things are sorta back to normal I will feel much better and want to be sexually active again. I never drempt in a million years I would be typing this kind of stuff to the world