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8 days to go and feeling like I'm going nuts!
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03-29-2007, 07:15 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 213
Hysterectomy: April 6th, 2007
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Removed both
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8 days to go and feeling like I'm going nuts!
Hi ladies,
So sorry to vent like this but need to so badly. I though i was doing great but boy was I wrong. I'm usually a very strong person have had surgery before and my dh and kids have always seen me handle it so well,but this time I feel so lost. Im having a TLAVH BOS, made the decision to also remove the cervix because of metaplasia which they found when i had the last biopsy when i had the 3rd D&C in less then 3yrs. Yes I know I need the hyst, adnormal bleed, pelvic pain which is driving me nuts and ovarian masses of both ovaries which can become canceous, but yet it's so hard of a decision to make. I'm turning 50 in aug and am now post-menopausal so i'm already going through the hot flashes and mood swings, and fine myself crying over everything since i found out i have to have this surgrey. Have even gone for 4 doctor's opionions such to make sure. Although I'm scheduled for surgrey I kept an appt i had made with an ocono gyn who is suppose to be one of the best where I live, he said yes this is the way to go. I guess i was hoping he say no. When I left his office i was feeling so much better knowing I had made the right decision but today wow again the nervous are hitting me guess it's worse because of the menopause is not helping me. I hate not being incontrol of my own body. The doctor yesterday said I have another problem Interstitial cystitis which i have to take care of after the surgery. Any ladies have this as well. Please share your stories about it. My dh is being supportative but works hard and falls asleep eary so I have no one to talk to at nights when I feel even more anxious i have to take ambien or can't sleep and at times Xanax just to perserve my sanity. All my dh says is you need the surgery, you will be fine, and last night he said look at the positive side I'll pamper you for 2 months and treat you like a princess, didn't help me feel better since I have feeling helpless and am always the one to take care of others. I'm also so worried about how my 12yr old autistic son will handle my having to rest in bed he's so very close to me.It will be so hard for him to understand that he can't hug mommy so tighty for awhile.The School is aware of my surgery and is going to help my son deal with this transition but I'm still so worried,its hard for my girls but I can explain it to them. I know this sounds stuip but the day before my surgrey I'm going for a manicure and pericue, and am having my hair dresser wash my hair and blow dry it for me, not because I'm vain but rather because i need to feel pamper and do something for just myself before the surgrey. I have to do 2 bowel pre including an endema before I leave for the castle can't eat anything after 12:00pm on thurs the day before liquids so my dh is taking me for a light breakfast that morning, will try to keep busy, I'm taking the twins to see a movie and burger king which they love, shopping for things for the castle and things I'll need at home beside some serious spring cleaning in the house. Thank you for listening. Good luck to all ladies having surgery and a speedy and good recovery to those who are post-op.
Best regards'
Griselle
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03-29-2007, 07:32 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,421
Hysterectomy: April 4th, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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8 days to go and feeling like I'm going nuts!
Griselle, I hear you loud and clear and know EXACTLY how you feel. This roller coaster ride, no one could have prepared me for that. I too am planning a manicure and pedicure on Tuesday before my prep starts. I figure I can sit there and look at my pretty nails while I'm in bed! LOL This is a great place to vent and I know from reading we ladies in waiting are feeling all the "normal" things and thank goodness we have a safe place to come and vent. These ladies don't think we are stupid for feeling this way. And we aren't! I feel like I am going nuts too. My 9 year old son is having a very hard time and he has some other issues going on too. But will be undiagnosed until June 5th which is the soonest we can get him to the Dr. In the meantime I bawl my eyes out because I am helpless to help him, helpless to help me. I'm the one that keeps all the balls in the air around here and right now I want to let them all crash and go to bed and cry. I know most women on here have felt or are feeling the same way. I do window treatments and I was supposed to install a job yesterday but the preop stuff took too long and I didn't get it all done. So I called the customer and she was all huffy. "Well I was counting on you to be here today and I am having 100 people over a party on Saturday and I want these window treatments up!" I was very nice and kept my cool. But wanted to say "Lady, I am having major surgery and might have cancer! I WIN!" Some people! Anyway, I will get her stuff installed tomorrow and everyone will be happy I hope. Unless this EKG thing has to be dealt with today. My Dr. just called back and is trying to get me in to a cardiac Dr. today so we can get it straightend out today and not have to postpone surgery. I can't wait for this to be over!
Griselle, hang in there. We'll get to the other side of this and probably won't remember all this business of waiting.
Thank you ladies for all the TLC we get when we come to these boards. I'd be a bigger mess without this site!
Sandra
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03-29-2007, 07:40 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 213
Hysterectomy: April 6th, 2007
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Removed both
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8 days to go and feeling like I'm going nuts!
Thank you Sandre, Years ago when I was going for capal tunnel surgery of both hand I had an adnormal EKG due to my bool pression being sky high they were ablr to control it and i had the surgeries. Again hope everything is ok, please keep me posted. thanks for respoding even though your're worry about yourself and best of luck with your son .
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03-29-2007, 08:30 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 144
Hysterectomy: March 19th, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Wow, you sound like me
Griselle,
I was exactly the same way. I kinda freaked out a few days before surgery and was literally pacing around, restless, anxious, nervous. The day of the surgery, I actually felt a little relieved because I had no more waiting ahead of me. They took me in at 7 AM and gave me 10 mg of valium to help with the jitters. It did help. Then they put something golden and glorious in my IV right before they rolled me into the OR. I don't know what that stuff was, but I was warm and happy, and kept remarking on how nice it was that there were windows in the operating room. They must have thought I was nuts.
Hang in there... you'll be great. You're doing the right thing.
-Miette
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03-29-2007, 10:12 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 964
Hysterectomy: April 23rd, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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8 days to go and feeling like I'm going nuts!
hi griselle,
Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. Every bit of it. I usually do a lot of quilting, but I just can't concentrate on anything. I want it over with. I'm having everything out and I did get a 2nd opinion. Unfortunately this dr. agreed with the first. I was hoping he wouldn't.
My original surgery date was April 6th. Then it got pushed to the 20th, and then the 19th. As for right now, I'm told it will be either April 17th or the 19th. The one that books the operations doesn't know just yet. So we originally had the same surgery date. I just hope that the hospital doesn't let me know only a few hours in advance. I worry about how I'll feel afterwards also. I worry about everything. I already had my pre op, which is ridiculous when the surgery is almost a month away. And all the dr. did was listen to my pulse and heart. That was it, except for taking 4 vials of blood. This waiting and not knowing is driving me up the wall. Now, to top it off, by the time they do the surgery I'll have one more period and possibly another. I have fibroids that make me bleed severly. I feel so overwhelmed. Tomorrow I go to my eye dr. because I have problems with the retina in my right eye. On Monday I am having an Endoscopy because I have severe acid reflux and I'm upset about that too because the medicine they are going to give me to put me in a Twilight Sleep makes me dizzy. They think I have an ulcer but they are going to take biopsies. It's been one thing after another and I wanted more than anything to go through menopause naturally. I never in a million years thought I'd need a hysterectomy until I started bleeding last year and it wouldn't stop. And my surgeon is leaving in June. I don't even know if they will do the hyst by then. I'm just so overwhelmed. Wish I could go to a spa and be pampered and leave my problems at the door when I go in.
Believe me, I know how you feel. I'm 44 and haven't gone through menopause yet and now I'll never know what age it would have been. That bothers me alot. I know it sounds stupid.
We just have to hang in there. I know I need a vacation once all of this stuff is over with. Some place with no drs. Every muscle in my body is so tied up in knots. I bite my teeth together when I'm sleeping which is causing problems and I get tension headaches. I just wish none of these problems existed, and I wish the same for you. We just have to be strong. I know how difficult it is. Life can really stink sometimes. It's never what we planned.
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03-29-2007, 10:22 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 213
Hysterectomy: April 6th, 2007
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Removed both
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8 days to go and feeling like I'm going nuts!
Hi Luvs,
I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time and that your surgery date was pushed back. I also have to go for a endo scope and colonscopy after surgery, and get treated for interstitial cystitis, it's seems like to end to this. know what you mean i would love to go away after all this is done. I'm going through natural menopause right now and it's no fun getting hot flashes every 15mins, have decided to take HRt just estrogen for a little while since the cervix is coming out can only take estrogen, i feel i won't be able to deal with the menopause getting worse right after surgery. Hope everything works out for you. Good luck. Maybe the doctor can give you something for your nerves I'm taking something and it helps. Yes life stinks some times we will survive.
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03-29-2007, 12:28 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 964
Hysterectomy: April 23rd, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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8 days to go and feeling like I'm going nuts!
hi griselle,
I'm going to be having everything out. Of course I'll be on HRT but I'm not familiar with all the different ones so either my dr. will pick out something for me to try or I'll pick out something. I have hotflashes now, but I know they will be worse afterwards. I was so close to natural menopause. I'll be 45 in June. If menopause would just kick in, maybe the fibroids would shrink by themselves, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. I have my endoscopy on Monday and my period is getting ready to come again, so I'm not going to be feeling all that great Monday going for a test and having cramps also. But if I cancel the endoscopy now, I'll have to wait for a long time for another appt. The lucky ones with insurance get to have it done in the drs. office. I have to go to the hospital because of no insurance.
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03-29-2007, 12:59 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 23
Hysterectomy: March 29th, 2006
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Hang in there ladies!
Hey Ladies,
I had a full hysterectomy one year ago today. I'm 41 and have spent the past year getting to know myself again. I found this board to be very helpful and full of loving, supportive people, so please don't feel badly about needing to vent or feeling afraid.
The week before my surgery, I wrote out all of my funeral arrangements! I didn't sleep well before the surgery and I didn't sleep well for a month or so afterwards.
I let my doctor chose my HRT and she did a great job. I'm on the patch, which I love. I just love my new hormones - can't say enough good things about them. And I was determinded I didn't want HRT! I had forgotten what it was like to feel like a "normal" human being.
My attendance on the board hasn't been so great since my doctor lifted all restrictions 7 weeks after my surgery. The reason is because I am so active now and stay so busy - things that weren't possible before.
My husband and kids love having me back in their lives.
Surgery is scary, no doubt, and having a hysterectomy is also emotional. Don't feel guilty about crying or having a case of the nerves. Just vent in whatever way you need and understand that this is only temporary. Once the surgery is over and you begin to heal, you will be more at peace.
Mostly, give yourself permission to take the time you need. And love yourself.
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03-29-2007, 01:30 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 213
Hysterectomy: April 6th, 2007
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Removed both
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8 days to go and feeling like I'm going nuts!
Annie,
Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm glad that you are feeling well and are so active. It's wonderful ladies like you that have been just an incredible help in helping me get through this.
Best Wishes,
Griselle
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03-29-2007, 01:34 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 964
Hysterectomy: April 23rd, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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8 days to go and feeling like I'm going nuts!
Laura,
It's been so long since I've actually felt good, that it's going to seem strange to feel different. It's like this is the only way I know how to feel and anything else will seem strange. It would be nice not to have these terrible cramps and feel sick to my stomach. If everything turns out okay for me, I'll probably wish I could have had this done years ago. Having my period all these years has taken so much time away from my family because when I have cramps I could never play with the kids. I always live on motrin and have to lay down. And I feel so tired. I started my period when I was 13. Three days before Christmas 1975. And I've never had a good one. I get headaches, blood clots, and now anemia. There has been so much in these 31 years that I missed out on because of my period. When I was in school and would have cramps, I'd feel like doubling over in pain. I went to a few gyns over the years. They all told me basically to get used to it. These were all male drs. If I start feeling better after the surgery, I'm going to do a lot of things to make up for lost time.
By the way, I have all my funeral arrangements and cemetery plot deed in a yellow folder that is on my desk. Just in case something should happen. I thought I was the only one doing that.
I'm so glad things turned out good for you. I hope I have the same luck.
Robin
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