carnt stop crying and its xmas night

This evening xmas night iv started crying and now i carnt stop, iv had what seems, to me a not so good xmas with my family,
My mother is in a nursing home and has alzimers, in the last 3 month since having the hyst she has gone down hill very fast we now have to feed her she does not reconize us any more, this is heart breaking and its xmas. sniff sniff
Today when i saw my family i felt like they didnt want me there it takes 78 km there and 75km back a long way i took the normal chicken dips food ect
We gave mum her lunch at the nursing home which took over an hour then went back to my nieces place and had to wait till my sister got home at 4 before my father and my self ate, when they were ready to eat.
So we both sitting there till 4 pm no lunch just dips and chips,
My sister came home at 4 we finaly ate but because i have my own family i had to leave at 5 but im glad my dad ate some thing im still having trouble with food so didnt eat much any way.
When i left they didnt even say good bye dad did but i carnt stop crying now they said lunch was 230-3.00 then went to 4.00 there was no lunch, it was bl..dy tea
My family didnt even visit me in hospital or any recovery my friends did, dad came over to see me the second day and hes been fantastic
i felt anxious being there and rearly felt an attack coming on
Tonight i feel so depressed crying all the time, i carnt stop my dd has said dont worry, but its xmas
sorry about the long vent, may be its the hormones but im so depressed
I love you ladys when things get rough i can vent here
thanks again

Dear (((Buffyone)))
I'm sorry your day yesterday turned out so badly with your family. I know Christmas can be so hard because we have expectations of everyone being kind and loving and often stress takes it's toll and people fail us. I know my own wonderful family has had it's weak moments in the last couple of days. As the mom I've been able to call them on it thought .
You have to make a choice when things like this happen, to make the best of your situation, look for the good. Count you blessings, if you will and come to terms with the situation as it is. I hope there is someone there you can be with today to share some love and find comfort from the unfortunate time yesterday. Take those negative thoughts captive and make something good come of today.
I hope everything works out ok for you. Please dry the tears. I'm thiking of you and praying the day takes a good turn for you.
Blessings on you and yours today, Rita

do I know what you are talking about. I started a thread "I'm setting here crying as I type"
Between hormones and your day..........
Family, Love them to pieces, and yet........
Honestly, I woke dreading today at my families. I wont be talked to much, everyones kids will be there except mine, who are off to in-laws. I miss MY kids today.
I always walk away feeling like the black sheep who really wasnt suppose to show up.
I sure hope today is going better.
Cry out those hormones and I hope find some wonderful moments to make this the special Christmas you deserve.
Merry CHristmas!

Thanks girls for your replys preciousgirl- thanks you said about choice when things like this happen,well iv just thought about this till 4 in the morning
IMnot going to let them make me feel this way and going to spend today with my lovely son and daughter which i didnt yesterday and enjoy it
deedledumplin- i did feel like the black sheep and i know they didnt want me there im going to make a negative into a posative today and decide im going away with my kids next year, there not going to make me feel like this again
merry xmas girls thanks

I offer you internet comfort, buffyone.