TAH: Scheduled hysterectomy: Why am I suddenly more nervous?

I found out last week that I needed a hysterectomy and scheduled today. I have a followup with the Dr. on Thursday after a D&C last week. I haven't been upset or bothered at the thought really but now, tonight, I'm feeling down about it. I know my husband is very stressed and scared so I haven't mentioned it to him. I'm not sure what's causing this, though. I am 30 and know that I don't want kids. I was sterilized with essure 3-4 years ago, so it's not the fact that I can't have kids --- that was taken care of years ago. But tonight, now that I am sitting in the living room myself after husband went to bed, I'm feeling kind of dismal and blah thinking about it while I am making lists of what I'll need to get and how to organize everything. I am scheduled for August 18.

Hi, Reannalynne.

There is so much to think about and digest that it can be overwhelming. I found that this site provides so much information that I thought I was totally prepared, especially for my pre-op appointment yesterday. I had all my questions ready for the doctor, my hubby was going with me, and I was completely ready for the appointment that afternoon. By late morning, my stomach was in knots and I felt I needed to run to the bathroom so many times, and I was shaking. This isn't my first surgery (I've had 4 previous surgeries), and I don't remember being like this.

You can try to prepare your self, but the fact of the matter is, this is major surgery. You're going to have your uterus removed. It's scary. The best thing you can do is lean on your husband and the women in this forum. I had so many questions last week that were answered by a few women. Reading their responses, their stories, what they went through, and their encouragement really helped me understand so much before my pre-op yesterday. I now came to the site today to hopefully read more words of encouragement to help with these butterflies I'm still feeling.

If I learned anything from the women I have written with, it is that this will be one of the best things you will ever do for yourself. I remember one woman on this site tell me how she went to Target and giggled as she walked past the tampon/pad aisle. I'm looking forward to doing that as well. You should too.

Best of luck on your surgery!

I giggle too as I pass the tampon/pad aisle; I also had a large fibroid pressing on my bladder, and I giggle as I pass the incontinence products aisle. As for your nervousness, I think that after your pre-op appointment is when the reality of it finally sinks in; I remember after my pre-op, after I'd signed the consent forms, I realized that there was no turning back. Just keep focused on your preparations, and be sure to schedule a few enjoyable activities for yourself, with your husband, and with your friends. And speaking of your husband, you don't really know how he'll react until you tell him. Let him know about MisterHysterSisters, our section for men, where he can find the information he needs to support you. Best wishes for a successful surgery and a smooth recovery!

Yes, it's totally normal. I'm 4 weeks post-op. My husband and I admitted to each other, after we were home from the hospital, that we'd both been more nervous than we were willing to admit. I had such a long lead up to mine, which was really great in terms of preparedness. But a neighbor told me she'd rather just get it over with and not have so much time to think about it, and there's probably some truth to that. The preparations are important, and a great distraction at times. But it also means that we spend a lot of time thinking about this looming thing ahead of us. I don't know if you practice anything like meditation, or if you hike, or call a friend when you're down, or what you do to get through other difficult things, but I'd suggest building in as many of those into your days leading up to the surgery. If they're not physical things, they'll also be things you can lean into during your recovery. If you're active, maybe try to be as active as you can now; swim faster, walk longer, hike further, etc than you usually would. I took a huge hiking trip right before my surgery. Planning it was a lovely distraction from the upcoming surgery, and looking back on it is a balm as I recover my energy and strength ever so slowly. I also took the entire day before to do things that made me feel cared for and strong. These are just what worked for me. You'll find your own way. But trust that all you're feeling is completely normal. And, at 4 weeks out, I can say that in many ways the preparation stage is harder than the healing stage.