counting the weeks

I am in my late twenties have 3 kids aged 5 & under and am having a vaginal hysterectomy in 8 weeks. How much pain will I be in ? , the literature my doc gave me was very sketchy, I am very scared although I have had thermal ablation, D&c and exploratory ops this is such a big thing. How hard will the recovery be- how will I cope with the kids, i didnt want anymore but do still feel sad. Also a little useless as its my body thats such a failure. My husband supports me and says he doesnt want any more kids and that were lucky to have our kids but I cant help feeling he could still have them !. This is really making my head spin as I know I couldnt have anymore anyway. I have gone through endless hormones, other medicines and treatments and am looking foreward to an end of bleeding and pain but am still looking for any reassurance anyone can give!

Well, I have not had my hyst yet, but from what I hear from most of the princesses, recovery isn't all that bad. I would think that you will need someone to help with your kids since you are not supposed to lift much weight at first and you will get tired easily.

As for the having children thing, I am 37, my husband and I just got married a little over a year ago, and we were unsure about having children. The whole last year has been so difficult with me feeling worse and worse that I can't even fathom the thoughts of having kids. We still feel that this is the best decision because I can't continue living like I am now. From the little bit you shared, it sounds like the quality of your life is not good either AND you have tried lots of other ways.

I know this is a hard decision, whether you have kids already or not, but at one point you need to take care of yourself and decide whether you want to live life, or struggle by with pain and discomfort.

Hang in there and keep posting here. All the ladies here have been wonderful and given me great support. If you have specific questions, this is the place to ask. And I will tell you what everybody told me, waiting is THE hardest part and I would agree.



Kristina

Bex, welcome to hyster sisters. Please take advantage of all the resources and articles available here for your information. Up on the top right there is a pull down with a go button next to it. Scroll down to pre op and post op hints and articles, also read the princess stories. This will give you a bit of an idea what to expect and plan for. Also under message boards at the top of the page you will find Hyster Sisters Resources and then you can look up the preop and post op resources under that forum. Please come back and ask any questoins you have and we will do our best to answer them or steer you in the right direction. I also highly recommend getting the book offered here called The Journey Through the Land Of Hyster. It is a great companion to the web site info and done with a spirit of fun to ease the seriousness of all this.

Also please remember that each of us can have a very individual set of reasons for why we are having this surgery (there are so many different things that can go on) and that we all have very different recoveries and even tolerate pain differently. Some have very easy and some have a bit more difficulty. Take it all with a grain of salt if you seem to hear only the worst case scenarios or the best case scenarios. Most of us fall somewhere in between and make it through fine. It is a big surgery though and shouldn't be taken lightly. The greatest thing about this site is that you can ask any question and this is especially helpful after surgery when you visit the post op forum. Even as a nurse there were still things I wasn't prepared for and it was through the support here that I knew what was normal and wasn't. So I would say you have just won half the battle, finding this site and the great support, being proactive for yourself and wanting to know what to expect.

Hi Bex,
I am 32 with 3 children under 7 yrs old. I had my vaginal hysterectomy 22 days ago. I expected it to be much much worse than it was.

Pain levels depend on quite a few things. If you have any repairs done (like a rectocele). How high your normal pain tolerance is, and also how well you do at remembering the post op rules like no lifting, no vacuuming.. etc. If you have repairs, there will be more pain. And if you do things you shouldnt or overdo things.. then you will 'pay'.. as they say!

I felt pretty good the day after surgery, but I was absolutely miserable before surgery. Of course there are normal healing pains.. but I came home the day after with only Motrin 800s for pain.. which I took every 8 hours. They controlled it very well. On post op day 5, I stopped all pain meds. I have had an exceptionally pain free, smooth recovery. I follow the princess rules and drink, walk and rest alot. I do not do anything that I am not supposed to.

To be quite honest, other than feeling so much better and a only a few minor twinges of pain and the occasional pulling sensation.. I feel like I never even had surgery. Of course everyones recovery is different and yours may not be like mine.

You will certainly need help the first week or two. My DH took his vacation and did everything until he went back to work on my post op day 6. I was left at home by myself with my 3 kids.. but we managed just fine. I also had people I could call in a pinch if I really needed them. I recommend you have alot of help for at least the first 10-14 days.. because at day 6, it was a bit tough.
Also, you will not be able to do any lifting, pushing, pulling, or straining for at least 6 weeks.. which means no vacuuming, no pushing a cart, no lifting a child, no making beds.. etc.

Right now at 22 days.. I am able to cook (no heavy pots), wash and dry clothes (DH takes them out of the dryer - no lifting for me) I can load the dishwasher with DD's help.. she puts the things on the bottom rack so I dont have to bend too much. I can sit up, walk, drive, and take a bath! I do rest often, either lying down or reclined with my feet up several times a day. In general I feel wonderful

With small children there are several things that can make your recovery easier. One is to stock your house with things that they can run and get for themselves.. like juice boxes, fresh fruit, nutri grain bars, cereal bars, etc. I also had lunchables on hand because then all I had to do was peel back the plastic.. and they had lunch. Have some crayons and new coloring books, storybooks, a few new or favorite videos, or even a box with contruction paper and other art supplies and you all can make little art projects. I had an airbed that DH inflated for me in the family room, so that I could lie down as much as I needed to.

Hope this helps!

1 day after posting my worries on this site and you have managed to boost my confidence - all help greatfully received!. This site is a godsend, I can see those long dragging weeks counting down will be aided by wit & support from you!