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Need to Vent, Why did I do this???
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10-06-2006, 06:18 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 17
Hysterectomy: September 20th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Sometimes you just need to say "HELP"
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10-06-2006, 07:21 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 53
Hysterectomy: August 25th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Need to Vent, Why did I do this???
Hi again, Thank you all again for your responses and encouragement. I got up this AM and still having the pain in my left side. It's not horrible pain, but enough to be aggravating. I'm going to call my Dr.'s office as soon as they open and demand some answers. If he doesn't help me, then I'll start calling Dr.'s in the area and see if they will manage me from here. I don't know how easy it will be to get in with a new Dr. on such short notice though. I'm on my own again today, but at least my DH is off work this weekend, so that will be good. Just gotta get through today.
Elphie, Big hugs! I know it's kinda depressing hearing how well everyone is doing at 6 weeks and we still feel bad. I wish I was doing that well also. I'm going to send you PM here after bit.
Blessed, I'm going to look up the myofascial therapy and find out some info on it. I've not heard of that. My sister suffers terribly from IC and maybe that would benefit her too. Thanks for the info.
Capsy, Thanks for the tip. That would be great to have some here in the evenings just for a bit to entertain DD. Would definitely take some of the strain off DH too. I'm sure he'd love a break in the evenings right now. I'm going to call around today about day care and see what all is involved and how expensive it would be. Crossing my fingers that it will be something we can manage.
Scarbelly, Yep, the infertility stuff can surely drive you nuts. That is actually when all my anxiety problems started. It flared up big time whenever I went on Lupron or any hormone related stuff. That's what makes feel so strongly right now that it's hormonal. I tell ya, as bad as the pain was every month with my periods, I'd gladly go back to that right now. At least it was only 3 days a month. But nothing I can do now except hope someday soon I'll be able to say I'm glad to have had this done. Thanks so much for your understanding.
Buffy, do you mean a stroller? I have one of those. As far as sleeping, the only place my daughter will fall asleep is in her crib, or if I am rocking her in the evenings. Thank you for the ideas!
Miggsy, it is hard when you know you aren't supposed to be doing something, but there is no one available to do it for you. I can so relate to that. And I just haven't had a choice. DD is still so young and needs alot of attention, so it has to be done. That's my I wish I would've just waited to do this surgery until she was older and didn't need lifted and carried so much. My family was just so adamant about how they would be here to help, I figured it would be ok. Guess I should've went with my gut and waited a while longer. Ah, too late now though.
Heart, I'm so glad you are doing well. Don't feel guilty. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I do believe I did too much too soon and that's why I'm still having problems. I had no business lifting my DD after 3 weeks. Just didn't know what else to do and when the Dr. tells you it's ok, your family thinks all is well. So they began to disappear. I always had a hard time asking for help too. I really wish I would've asked my MIL sooner for help. It would've been much better to have her here week 4. I was just too stubborn to ask. Learned the hard way there.
I do hope everyone else is feeling better and wish you all well! Big hugs back to you all! It's after 9, so time to call Dr. office. Wish me luck! Teresa
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10-06-2006, 08:27 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 387
Hysterectomy: September 19th, 2006
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Hey Bundle
Hey Theresa
Sounds like things have improved since your initial post. But I wanted to share with you about hrt. Even though I have two drs I did not deal with either one of them re HRT Instead I dealt w/ special pharmacist and have bio
identical hrt. I can give you info if you want.
So far so good for me and I am at 3 weeks Tuesday. She is great. She has called me a couple of times since surgery to see how I am doing. I happened to mention that I was having wicked sinus headaches, and she told me it was due to the hormones. She said if I had them now I probably had them after kids were born and she was right.
Anyway she is the best. so pm me if I can be of any help to you in this
Hang in there and don't let anyone push you around
Harley
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10-06-2006, 05:23 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 53
Hysterectomy: August 25th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Need to Vent, Why did I do this???
Well, Called the Dr's office first thing this AM and guess what?? They didn't even bother to call back. I had a long talk with the nurse and told her I had to find out what was going on so I could get on with my life. I really need some answers and solutions. She promised she would talk to the Dr. and call me back. It's now almost 7:30pm. I could just scream. Now I'll have to wait til Monday and see if they bother to do anything then.
In the meantime, I called the compounding pharmacy and got lots of info. They were very helpful. She also gave me the name of a Dr. they work with frequently, so I called and made an appt. The soonest they could get me in was Oct. 23 though. I'm just feeling so frustrated right now. Why is it so hard to get Dr.'s to listen and help sometimes. All I want is some tests done to find out what is going on. Is that asking too much??? I'm 6 weeks post op and still haven't even had a pelvic exam at all since surgery. Don't you think if I was having problems, he would do one? And if I am having bladder problems, why hasn't he ordered a urine culture? Wouldn't that be a logical place to start?
Elphie, Sorry I haven't sent you a message. My DD has been into everything today and I can barely keep up. She's having one of her cranky days. I promise I'll send you a PM soon, probably after everyone goes to bed for the evening. Maybe by then I can chill out. Sounds like we have alot in common and would love to talk to you.
Oh well, I am going to sit back and try and chill this evening. I need to take some deep breaths and let it go for awhile. Nothing I can do about it right now anyways. Teresa
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10-06-2006, 06:15 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 953
Hysterectomy: August 17th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Need to Vent, Why did I do this???
Bundle, I am at my 7 weeks, and still having issues. I do not regret the surgery though. After dealing with 6 surgeries prior to the final 7th, the bleeding, etc., etc., I am glad it is over with.
Things will get better, it just takes each of us different healing times.
You will be okay.
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10-06-2006, 07:16 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 76
Hysterectomy: August 1st, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Need to Vent, Why did I do this???
Hi Bundle,
I'm 9 weeks 4 days post op. At my 5 week post op my gyno extended my leave for another month (the end of October) as I'm having a slow recovery, which she had expected. I was so relieved as I was still not walking properly and was wondering why I was so slow with my recovery. I was also told that the anxiety I was experiencing was due to hormones, that also put my mind at ease. Your anxiety will pass as soon as your hormones settle, just give it time. You need to relax and not have stress in your life at the moment as stressful stituations will only make the anxiety worse.
I'd tell your husband that you need him at the moment and for him to put his camping trip off. This is your time and put your foot down, you need his help.
I feel for you having a little one to look after during your recovery. You must rest and NOT lift, push or pull. If you don't take it easy now, you could have problems down the line.
Have you thought of phoning your mum and telling her your recovery is taking longer than you expected and you need her help. You are special to your mum and I'm sure she just doesn't realise the situation, so give her a call and take care of yourself.
Let us know how you are going.
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10-07-2006, 01:53 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 278
Hysterectomy: August 25th, 2006
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Need to Vent, Why did I do this???
Hi Teresa,
Check out the time of this post-I was awakened by a lovely anxiety attack. I would say that during this whole experience, my doctor returned my call 50% of the time. The percentage is only that good because two or three times my DH called the office screaming. A couple of weeks ago when I spent the day in the ER having tests on a Thursday, I finally spoke to her on Monday. She asked me to have another ultrasound in the office on Tuesday. I called the office Wednesday afternoon because I hadn't heard back from her. They said she was gone for the day and just didn't get around to me. I finally spoke to her Thursday. I have half a dozen of these scenarios. Her nurse is a witch. This past week I called the office hysterical on Tuesday. She called me back Wednesday night. I was so angry I let it go to voice mail. In her message, she told me to drink plenty of fluids and she would see me next week at my 6 week appointment. Brilliant, huh? My favorite quote from her is this: "I just don't understand why you are still having pain at this point. There really aren't anymore tests I can run. Your Hematoma is really small. Time will be your friend." I could have jumped through on that one. I cried for the rest of the day. I happened at about 3:00 in the afternoon and I poured a glass of wine.
On the upside-way upside...I almost afraid to post this...I had a good day today-my first. It was a long day. My daughter was off school and I ran her around all day. I didn't have any pain at all and the fatigue was minimal. Last night we got a call from an old friend and went out at 9:00 and had a couple of drinks with him. I feel like there may be a light at the end of the tunnel. I have another long day tomorrow, er, today. We'll see how that goes.
Hang in there!
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10-07-2006, 08:56 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 1
Hysterectomy: September 25th, 2006
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Mother's Day Out, Churches helping?
Teresa, I'm not a huge churchgoer, but it seems worth calling a few local churches that advertise "Mother's Day Out," explain your predicament. Even if you don't have funds, churches (synagogues, temples, etc.) are there to help in just such times.
I agree with the advice to keep stating your needs calmly (if possible!) to all you encounter, to follow up your hunches about hormone balances and seek a different opinion if the guy doesn't decide to listen.
Congrats for reaching out to us, and for following your instincts, feeding your daughter on the floor. I understand husbands get grumpy and to the breaking point (mine is there now) - so sounds like you need to arrange for care for dear toddler daughter during that time frame, rent some movies, get some chocolate and/or other comfort food, and recharge yourself. Maybe make that a condition of him going - he scores care for your daughter?
{{Hugs}} and keep us posted. We care! We understand! We're with you!
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10-07-2006, 10:26 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 33
Hysterectomy: September 26th, 2006
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Need to Vent, Why did I do this???
Seems to me it's a sad fact of life that even many well-meaning people don't know what to do with others who are going through a rough time.....especially if that rough time takes longer to get through than the well-meaning people think it should. I'm 11 days post-op now, and even my dear, supportive husband is looking at me like "wouldja hurry up and get back to normal, already???"
I think it makes people uncomfortable, especially those who truly do love us, if we just can't seem to get feeling better. They worry, and sometimes their reaction to the worry is to distance themselves. Like if they ignore it, it's not really there. They run out of things to say and ideas to suggest....and to them, it must feel like even their best efforts are accomplishing nothing....so they tend to drift away. Occasionally, I think they are trying to back away in hopes that we might "pull up our socks" and get on with the business at hand, and quit whining.
It's not fair, that's for sure. They aren't going through the pain, and they don't know what it's like. Even people who have gone through surgeries in the past tend to remember them somewhat *inacurately* if you will....."why, I can the same thing only TEN TIMES WORSE, and I was up baling hay and taking care of 10 children under the age of three by the next day...."
Sound familiar?
Recovery is a lonely path. Even when you have a group like this to reach out to, you still have to walk the path alone in your house. You feel the pain alone, lift the toddler alone, suffer the fears and anxiety alone.
The good part is, it GETS BETTER. Day by day. You might not notice it getting better because sometimes the improvements are small, and sometimes you really feel like you're stalled on the side of your recovery path with a flat tire and nobody will stop to help you....but you're getting better.
Do find another doctor to consult. Make some inquiries about day care for your baby, on a temporary basis....someplace where she can be safe for the day and let you have a chance to regroup.
When you come to the computer, we're all here....when you're facing it alone, know that we're pulling for you.
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