embarrassing confession

Trina -

In that same vein, I wash with "fragrance-free" soap. Do you KNOW that there's a difference between "fragrance-free" and "unscented?" Fragrance-free has NO fragrance whatsoever. Unscented has fragrance that makes it smell like it has no fragrance. I learned this when they didn't have my regular soap, and I tried a new one and it stung. I also make my DSO wash with this soap before becoming intimate, as I know I will end up with an infection or at least a bad irritation - it actually stings if he doesn't.

Also, I wash my underwear with unfragranced laundry soap and wear only cotton-crotched underwear. Well, sometimes I wear the fancy ones, but not too often.

Esme

I hope this isn't too graphic, but I did want to share because it makes all the difference when I'm in too much pain for intercourse, let alone "other things". I've been married 25 years to a wonderful man, and sex is usually great, but sometimes this honking fibroid just gets in the way, and of course sometimes the bleeding gets in the way. Also, at 53, he's getting to an age where jumping right into intercourse isn't always possible for him either.

We've found that fellatio can do wonders in difficult times. It doesn't exactly turn me on, but I find it pleasant and easy to do something loving for him. <Admin. snip: guidelines ask that members not post sexually graphic messages.> He strokes my head tenderly, or rubs or scratches my back. It's very sweet and intimate. <Admin. snip> And I get the best back scratches... I don't dare ask him for a back scratch if I don't have time for sex, because the very mention has become a turn on for him...

Hope this helps some!

Well I thought I had thought of everything, but I guess not! No I don't douche. I never have. And I don't take baths either. But I hadn't even thought about the soap being fragranced or not. As far as detergent and underwear goes, I'm in a pad everyday so the detergent doesn't matter. However the soap I use in the shower may. I try to rinse off the soap immediately after washing and shaving because it does irritate me if it gets in there.
I know it isn't from the toys, because those haven't come out of the box in ages! We don't always wear condoms because I'm on the pill, but lately with all the infections we have used them so he doesn't get whatever I got. And I never buy deodorant tampons. So I am going to look into the frangranced soap thing and see if there is any link. Thanks for the suggestions girls.

Another thing - when I complained to my regular gyn about about a chronic low-grade yeast infection that flared up occasionally, she asked if I used "Always" pads, and the answer was YES! She explained that the "Dri-weave" cover was made out of nylon or something and didn't allow sufficient air circulation, so many women got infections on them - I had been using them for years!

Esme

EsmereldaPea, you just said something that hit a nerve! I just stocked up on pads a week ago. I bought Always, Kotex and stayfree. I did that because the pantyliner I was wearing was really bothering me and I wanted to try something different. I found the Always to be the ones I liked the most because of the coverage area. I am on my period right now and just came from the bathroom. I had get all my armour on before bed. Ya know, heavy flo tampon, and two overnight pads. They were Always pads. I just got over a yeast infection about a week ago, so we shall see what happens. My surgery is in 4 weeks and it should be during my last period. I have decided not to renew my bc prescription this last month since it isn't working so maybe I'll get lucky and skip my last period. Hey this could be my last period!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God I hope so. I am in so much pain. My husband had to take a sick day today to take care of the kids for me. The vicodin I'm prescribed work if I take 2 at a time, but then I get a horrible stomache ache. Well anyway thank you for sharing that little tid-bit, I REALLY appreciate it.

I want to apologize to anyone who found my previous post Too Much Information. I certainly understand, and I had some reservations about posting it in the first place for that reason. Lest anyone think I was being completely pornographic, the snipped parts just had to do with a position we've found helpful. But I certainly respect the judgement of the admin. My point was that even when health problems make regular sex impossible now and then, you can still keep a marriage together with a lot of love and imagination.

I used to get yeast infections constantly, then someone sent me a disturbing e-mail about tampons and what they are made out of and that fibers and shed and cause infections. I immediately stopped using them, and have not had one infection since (knock on wood). I told my old Dr. this and she told me it was just a coincidence. I very soon after left that Dr. and found a terrific Dr. Hope this helps, just a though.

Dove

Hi I have read that women who get alot of infections down there usually have an hormonal imbalance with the estrogen being too high and /or a diet high in sugars and white flour that can cause us to get what is called a Candidas infection. I think somewhere in the research you can look up the Candidas and the Too high of estrogen level symptoms.

I consider myself fortunate because I have always had a very strong sex drive. I think hormones play a very important part in it and that after your hysterectomy you should have all of your hormones tested- including testasterone and dhea. If either of these is low it could account for your problems with desire. It does not take much testosterone to increase sexual desire in a women and it comes in prescription creams- you just have to try different amounts until you find the right amount to do the trick. But first you do need to get rid of the pain issues! Silent type two diabetes can cause repeated infections from the irritation of the vaginal lining during sex. You should have your fasting blood sugar and HBac1 tested- BEFORE your surgery- it will affect how well you heal.
After you have addressed the pain, healing and hormones then you need to make time for sex- have dates to bring the romance back. If you plan on keeping that husband make every effort to get your sex life spiced up- involve him in it all the way- so he will understand all the things you are doing to get that feeling back- that way he will be more patient and understanding.

I don't mean to be so blunt but if you want to keep your marraige together- you will have to do all that you can to keep the sexual part of your marraige pleasurable for both of you.

I wish you well- I wish for you the courage and strength to be aggresive with your doctors- demand an explanation and make them find out what is causing these problems for you. Best of luck in finding the solutions. You and your husband deserve to be happy!